Peace In Our Time

"Danny! Wake up. Quickly. I have tremendous news."

Danny rubbed his eyes and yawned loudly, "What time is it?"

"Four-thirty-three."

"Afternoon?"

"No, silly. AM. Before dawn."

"Are you out of your mind? What's going on? Did Egypt attack?"

"No, Danny. Listen to this wonderful news that just came over the wires."

Danny stretched and sat up in bed, "This better be good, otherwise, I'll punch you in the schnauzer."

"Stop blabbering, Danny and listen. I can practically see the white pigeon of peace winging across the horizon in its rush to land here."

"Israel has just received a heavenly message. Celestial. Divine. An angelic sign that 'peace in our time' is not merely an overworked phrase. The heavens may yet embrace the notion. Hooray. Celebration. The safety of Israel and the security of every Jew are now guaranteed. The expulsion of the Jews from Gaza as per Benedict Arnold-Sharon may now move into fast gear. The uprooting of the Jews from the 25 settlements as envisioned by the turncoat Prime Minister may now gain speed and the immediate implementation may proceed. We have it on the table, in the bag. There is no denying the feasibility of it. Relief at last."

"What did you drink? What exactly are you talking about?"

"Let me explain. You know who Muhammad Dahlan is, don't you?"

"Sure. He is that filthy terrorist creep who was once the PA Security Chief responsible for security coordination in Gaza, but who couldn't adjust to his pinstripe suits and quickly donned his dirty kaffiya to hide his face as he went out on the same terrorist missions he was supposed to prevent."

"Wow, Danny. That was a brilliant, no-breathing-in-between, one sentence response. Yes, exactly! The same hood. Not long ago he was on target for assassination by Israel, but last week, he was rehabilitated. And today, his brilliance came to the fore. Now I understand fully Sharon's determined and unceasing efforts to expel the Jews from Gaza and hand it over, lock stock and barrel, to the able and experienced Dahlan."

"No kidding! What happened today? Did he convert to Judaism?"

"Well. Let's first review, shall we, the man's recent accomplishments. Perhaps the clarity of all he has done in his former position will justify an immediate embrace of his brilliant proposal."

"Stop talking in puzzles and tell me what he said! You got my curiosity, now spill it out."

"Calm down. I will. But... here goes:

"Terrorism is his forte. His expertise. In his PA position, Dahlan was able to pull the strings, and his responsibility for masterminding the bus bombing in Kfar Darom in 2001 that killed three Jews and maimed others is irrefutable. At that time, then-opposition leader Ariel Sharon stated emphatically that Dahlan should be killed. He should be targeted for elimination because of his terrorist stature. Not long after the bus bombing, Dahlan's bodyguards exchanged heavy fire with soldiers at the Erez checkpoint. The CIA later confirmed that it has in its possession a recording in which Dahlan is clearly heard ordering the bus bombing. To complement that atrocity, in his capacity as 'Security Chief', Dahlan, to this very day, planned many of the terrorist acts perpetrated against Israeli citizens and soldiers. And under his explicit stewardship, the Kassam rockets began to fall in Gaza on a steady and ever increasing basis. His place on Israel's most wanted list was solidly enhanced.

"The terrorism unleashed by Dahlan and his murdering cohorts continues unabated as cemeteries all over Israel continue to fill up with massacred Jews and the number of wounded is reaching skyward. Were he to be responsible for the same mayhem and violence against the US, he would be mercilessly hunted down - 'dead or alive' - like the murdering dog he is. And what a shame that would be."

"A shame? You just rehashed his deep involvement in the ongoing violence. Yet, you'd be sorry if he were to be hunted down? I'm confused."

"Aha. I'm coming to the crux of today's stupendous news item and the reason I woke you up to share my happiness with you."

"It better be a very good reason. Otherwise...."

"Sorry to interrupt you, Danny, but you talk too much. Listen and you shall hear. I'm sure you'll agree with my comment that killing him would be a shame"

"I'm breathless with anticipation."

"Well. Muhammad Dahlan, the terrorist and murderer has promised - yes, promised - that he will assume security responsibilities for Gaza once the Jewish settlements are evacuated. He promised that Hamas would not overrun Gaza. He, Dahlan, will not allow terrorism to rule. He will be responsible for the quiet that will reign there once Israel leaves and hands it over to his able hands."

Jumping off the bed, Danny began to dance wildly. His feet barely touched the floor as he performed a hysterical version of the 'moon walk.'

"Joy to the world, all the boys and girls..." crooned the singer on the radio.