The Speech Sharon Should Have Made

Ladies and Gentlemen of the World,

I am delivering this speech to you from Jerusalem, our Holy City and Eternal Capital. As this speech is being carried via satellite, each and every TV screen and PC monitor is beaming to you the exact place I am standing on, namely, the Temple Mount. I know that most of you are angry at the 'provocation' this transmits towards the so-called ?Palestinian people?, but my motive will become vividly clear as I proceed with my address. I hope your digestive systems are strong enough to absorb the unpleasanteries I am about to impart.

As there are too many 'distinguished' names for me to mention, please accept my sincere apology for not recognizing each of you separately, although many of you do deserve to be singled out and I may on occasion do so. As my address proceeds, I am sure that I may inadvertently single out some of you for 'special' honor and those mentioned may get slighted or insulted. I will do my utmost to generalize rather than individualize. Please forgive me in advance. This will be my only apology; apologies are meant to assuage the aggrieved, not those creating the aggravation. If I sound belligerent, I am; If I sound defiant, I am. If my words convey the message that I am condemning you all as aggressors, instigators and anti-Semites, I do. And if I sound like I am giving you a lesson in past and current history, I am. All of you sorely need it and I demand your patience.

Let me therefore proceed immediately to the urgent agenda in front of us. I can not waste any more time, as I want you to understand me clearly and without any mistake. What I say is already known to you, although you will continue to deny it and twist the truth, as you have done since our existence; our existence as a Jewish nation, not merely as the State of Israel. My words will certainly uncover your false piety and unmask your true faces; we have seen these faces time and time again as you and other nations preceding you have tried to impose their rules and regulations upon us. The destruction of my people was always your primary agenda. Any corrupt nation can have the adrenaline reach a boiling point of enthusiasm by the mere mention of the word ?Jews?. Nothing was ever more unifying then the stimulating thought that, finally, once and for all, you are really going to destroy the Jews. And such plans continue today.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I will not bore you with long details of Jewish history. Let it suffice to remind you that the Holy Land is our land; G-d's written deed is open for all to see. We were here when the people of England were savage tribes; our kingdoms stood proud, when your people were still climbing out of the trees. Our forefather, Abraham, received these lands from G-d, the Master of the universe. He then gave them to Isaac and Jacob, and so on down the line of Jewish generations. But, then again, you already know this and denying it does not change the facts. Hevron was King David's city when Russia was a swamp and Jerusalem was our holy capital city when the American continent was still a wasteland. Every stone in these mountains bears witness to our kings and prophets. We are the mountains and they are us.

We tried, we really and sincerely tried, to make peace with our enemies. Our Torah urges us to stretch out our hand in peace towards our enemies. Our outstretched hand has been rejected and our gesture was, and is, rewarded with non-stop aggression and blood-letting. As our attempts at stilling the troubled waters are being ridiculed and cast aside, our enemies continue to garner their forces in a non-stop assault; the assault manifests itself in both the murderous onslaught against us and in your almost universal silence in the face of it. The reemerging anti-Semitism has become an honored badge on your lapels. Nary a word is heard against the unquenchable incitement against my people. For too long now we tried placating and we are paying a horrendous price in Jewish blood. Our naivet? in accepting your guarantees of peace only if? has proven to be our downfall. But no more.

As the representative of Israel and the Jewish people throughout the world, I am here and now rejecting the "Road Map of Annihilation", which was just presented as a reward to those aiming at our destruction. I? no, we, the Jewish people, both here and in the rest of the world, are rejecting this new blueprint for dismantling our country. Our survival does not depend on your supposed generosity. Establishing another terror state on my borders is both ludicrous and suicidal. I'm sure none of you in Europe would want these same terrorists and murderers sitting on your doorstep, and rightfully so. The fact that you are demanding that Israel commit harakiri is self-evident. To that end, we will not lend you a hand. Yes, up to now, we were foolish; today we stopped being stupid.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Universe,

We are tired of your bigotry and double standard. Seeing the United Nations spreading its wings to protect murderers the likes of Saddam, Arafat and Khaddafi, amongst others, creates an immense feeling of revulsion, to say the least. To witness the UN initiating, sponsoring and protecting the resurgence of anti-Semitism is galling.

Therefore, in short order, I put forward and place in front of you quite a novel 'road map', one you are familiar with. The debate of whose lands these are, as of this moment, is off the table. There is nothing to discus, as G-d, the landlord, is the only one who can give them away, if He so desires. Having read his covenant with our forefathers, I recall reading that these lands and the deed to them are irreversible. To give away even one inch constitutes blasphemy and defiance of His given word and promise. I therefore propose a totally different 'road map'; this 'road map' is very explicitly and precisely noted in the Bible. The borders are exact and not changeable. In fact, not only must the terror cease immediately, but those lands that our foolish brothers have already given away must be returned to us. Not one inch shall remain in the hands of those seeking our destruction. Israel must regain control over every centimeter of these Holy Lands. Only then, peace may reign.

Ladies and Gentleman,

Over the millennia you have tried to kill us, to terrorize us, to expel, transfer, imprison, force us to convert and have even denied us our very existence. You confiscated our belongings, mutilated, robbed, decreed, condemned and hated us. You destroyed our bodies and attempted the same with our souls. We survived you then and we will survive you now.

You see, fools, G-d, after all, is on our side.
--------------------------------------------------------
Isaac Kohn writes from Brooklyn, New York. He can be reached at Isaackohn@aol.com.