Ruchama Clapman
Ruchama Clapmanערוץ 7

The world has changed. Our lives have become more s

“I feel alone; ashamed; lost.” “How could this happen to me?” “What do I do?”

These are all natural responses. But again, how do we cope? Who can I talk to? What will people think?

Most of us were raised to believe that we don’t “air our dirty laundry” or “we can handle our own problems.” But what about times that we can’t…when our best thinking isn’t good enough?

We do need help. Where do I go? Who do I talk to?

We need support.

In the recent past, support groups have proven to be a great help to millions. There are many reasons why.

When we have

We also have the opportunity to learn that we are not alone. Others have had, and survived similar situations. As a result, our guilt is lessened as things are put into the proper perspective.

No two people or situations are the same. We are not made with cookie cutters. Through the guidance of a facilitator and hearing how our peers have found solutions, we may be in

Holding things in and keeping secrets only make a bad situation worse. Think of it as an elephant in the living room that everyone ignores. Something needs to be done even though it’s easier to pretend it’s not there.

The camaraderie of a peer group offers comfort without judgments or shame. It breaks isolation and sets the groundwork for healing. If you feel concern remember, those there are there for the same reason you are.

In a healthy support group you will not be told what to do. Instead your peers and the facilitator will help you find the way out that works for you. You will not succeed if you do what is right for someone else – you must find your own way out. Assuming responsibility is part of the solution. If you are told what to do and it doesn’t work out, you can blame rather than identify your part of the problem.

Well meaning friends and family can actually make suggestions that are harmful. Remember – what is helpful in a healthy situation may often add to the dysfunction of an unhealthy situation.

You – peers and group leader – are not part of your family. Those closest to the situation may not always be the best ones to talk to. Emotions can blur thinking and shame can inhibit our disclosures. An objective ear can see things in a better light.

It is most difficult when we see our children at risk. Guilt can become overwhelming and our natural instinct as a parent may actually unintentionally, be harming our family. A problem with one member impacts everyone and all are affected. Panic sets in as our most precious assets suffer.

There is no quick fix, but there is help. Qualified professionals specialize in dealing with families of at risk or in-

One source of support and referrals is MASK (Mothers and Fathers Aligned Saving Kids). They offer support for families and assist in finding appropriate services for parents and their children; adults included. The confidential number is 718-758-0400.

The problem won’t go away on its own. Get help. Get support. The future depends on it.