Some siblings are dependable. They show up to every family affair and are always in touch. They are the first to call when you return from a trip and always ask how you are doing. Some siblings are not quite like that. You hardly hear from them; they are always flying about and are somewhere else, far and near. They are busy with many important things, but you can depend on them when you need them.
You look forward to hearing from the constant sibling, but when you are in a bind, you call the dependable sibling. That sibling will loan you a few thousand dollars when you need it. That sibling will turn over the world to bring you home when you are stranded. That sibling will cancel everything and be there when you have a health crisis.
Joseph’s Brothers
Joseph did not have constant siblings. When he lived at home, his siblings constantly bickered with him. There was no end to their envy and enmity. He gave as well as he took. Joseph was no constant brother, but he was a dependable brother. When his siblings were out with their flock for days and their father grew worried, Joseph went to check on them. When he heard his brothers were looking for ways to kill him, he set his fears aside and went to look in on them. He suffered for it, but he never let them down.
When they came to Egypt during the famine, Joseph ensured they had all the food they needed and even returned their money without their knowledge. When he finally revealed his identity, he invited them to Egypt, where he provided for them. He was certainly a dependable sibling. But were they?
Joseph had ample evidence that they were not constant siblings. They were not the type to show up for Shabbat dinner or Sunday lunch. Frankly, neither was he. But he wanted to know if they were dependable siblings. This is why he manipulated events to bring his brother Benjamin to Egypt. Once Benjamin arrived, Joseph conspired to make it look like Benjamin was a thief and threatened to have him arrested. This was all a test to see if his brothers were dependable in a crisis.
The brothers passed his test with flying colors. When Benjamin was threatened with incarceration, Judah and his brothers were ready to turn over the world. Judah approached Joseph, a man he knew as the powerful viceroy of Egypt who held the key to all the grain in the known world during a famine and was prepared to make war with him to save Benjamin. Our sages taught that Joseph’s siblings were prepared to make war against all of Egypt if it would come to that.
Come what may, they would save Benjamin.
Which Are You?
It is easy to judge others, but let me ask you this: what kind of sibling are you? Are you the dependable kind or the constant kind? Are you both, or perhaps neither? It is an interesting question.
There is another way to frame the question.
What kind of Jew are you? Are you a constant Jew or a dependable Jew? Some Jews observe every Shabbat and keep kosher under all circumstances. They are constant Jews. They pray daily, light Shabbat candles weekly, dot every I, and cross every T.
Some Jews are less constant in terms of regular observance, but when push comes to shove, and a fellow Jew is in need, they are ready to turn over the world. They are dependable Jews. Of course, there are Jews who are constant and dependable, but they are the exception rather than the norm. It is hard to be both.
The Maccabees were both. They were holy priests who served in the Temple. Their father was the high priest. But when the nation was in peril, they picked up their swords and went to war. We celebrate them because they are the exception. Most of us are somewhere on the spectrum, but not on both poles.
It isn't easy to be both because it requires activating two different sets of skills. To be a constant Jew, you need to devote your life to G-d. To be a dependable Jew, you need to sacrifice your life for G-d. There is a difference. You can devote your entire life to G-d because it makes sense. He is our Creator, He provides for us, and He asks us to serve Him. That makes sense. However, sacrificing your life for G-d requires setting rational thinking aside and embracing G-d in an all-encompassing way—making our embrace with G-d greater than life because G-d is greater than life.
Being a constant Jew means being grateful that G-d gave us life. Being a dependable Jew means recognizing that G-d is greater than life. It is hard to be both. Are you? If not, where on the spectrum do you fall? We should each ask ourselves that question.
The Great Minister
Just because we are dependable doesn’t mean we are constant. Just because we are constant doesn’t mean we are dependable.
This was articulated by Rabbi Yochanan Ben Zakai, the great sage who played a pivotal role in strengthening and leading the Jewish people during and after the fall of the second Temple. He was an erudite scholar and a devoted leader. He led a life of piety, scholarship, and service. Yet, before he passed, he lamented that he did not know where he was headed, to paradise or purgatory (Brachos 28b).
Rabbi Yochanan famously said he was like a minister in G-d’s kingdom, whereas Rabbi Chanina was like a valet in G-d’s chamber (Brachos, 34b). If Rabbi Yochanan was important enough to be an advisor in G-d’s kingdom—someone with whom G-d consulted, why did he think he might be headed to purgatory?
There is a key difference between an advisor and a valet. The advisor is intelligent, wise, and experienced. You can depend on him for sensible advice. To lead the country in ways that make sense. Valets can’t calculate all the secondary and tertiary consequences of the ministers' pivotal decisions. However, they can be depended on to be a million percent loyal to the king. Valets love the king with all their hearts and would lay their lives down for him.
Rabbi Yochanan saw himself as a minister and advisor in G-d’s kingdom. He served G-d every day and led the nations with wisdom, foresight, and impeccable logic. He did everything asked of him and did it well. But did he love G-d even more than life? Was he the dependable type of Jew?
We know he was. When he needed to, Rabbi Yochanan laid his life on the line for the Jewish people, but he was humble and didn’t see himself that way. He figured that being a constant Jew didn’t mean he was a dependable Jew. If Rabbi Yochanan could say this about himself, what does that say about us?
It is important to be honest with ourselves and identify where we stand. Is my mind with G-d, or also my heart? Is my heart with G-d or also my soul? Is my soul with G-d or also my life? Is my life with G-d or also my entire being? We won’t know until we are tested and may we never be tested. Yet it is important to ask the question. It is important to do our best to be both. To be a constant Jew, but when we are needed, to be a dependable Jew.
Rabbi Eliezer (Lazer) Gurkow, currently serving as rabbi of congregation Beth Tefilah in London, Ontario, is a well-known speaker and writer on Torah issues and current affairs.