Sivan Rahav-Meir
Sivan Rahav-MeirEyal ben Ayish

Part I: Wisdom from Rahel Hever of Matnat Chinam

What is your advice for us? What is your most important message for teenage girls regarding the pandemic? These were the questions asked by girls who participated in a meeting we held yesterday with Rachel Hever, chairwoman of the Matnat Chinam (Gift of Life) organization for kidney donations. Here are some of Rachel's thoughts:

*We never try to convince anyone to donate a kidney. We only describe the current reality and talk about what can be done. Remember: it's impossible to force people to do good. Goodness is within us; it just needs to flow out. We simply need to want to do a favor for someone other than ourselves."

*I recommend that girls take upon themselves the mitzvah of making a decision to do a little something good each day that no one knows about. For instance, right now during the lockdown: if your sister left a piece of clothing on the floor, fold it up and put it back in the closet. Without saying anything to anyone. Simply practice doing something like this every day."

*My husband established this organization and died from the coronavirus. Since he passed away, we see that he is helping us from above since there are more and more kidney donations. He always used to tell me: 'Don't reject suffering.' If something bad happens, do not reject or ignore it, but try to see what can be learned and how you can grow from it. Since his death I have been reminded of this thought many times and recommend to everyone not to reject our present hardship, but rather see what lessons can be drawn from it.

*I do not think that everyone needs to donate a kidney, but everyone is able to donate something. You can donate an ear – to listen to friends. You can donate a heart – to be sensitive and considerate. You can donate an eye – to see everything in a positive light."

Part II: And what can be more important in married life than seeing things positively?

Mazel tov! So many weddings were held in recent days in Israel. Small, last minute weddings just before the lockdown. Here is some advice from the story of Joseph for all those couples who are just now setting up a little home of their own during the pandemic: speak to each other.

The meeting between Joseph and his brothers is thought of as one of the supreme moments in the entire Torah. What brings about appeasement and brotherly love? The power of speech. Indeed, when Joseph was a teenager, his brothers could not bear to speak a single word to him: *"And they could not speak with him peacefully."* Afterwards when Joseph told his brothers his dreams, he lectured and did not converse with them.

And when Joseph went looking for his brothers and was approaching them, they saw him from a distance and plotted to throw him into a pit. Joseph hinted to his brothers, based on his dreams, what would happen to them, but he did not converse with them. And so his brothers spoke about what would happen to Joseph, but did not speak directly with him.

Then, after 22 years of separation, we read the following: *"And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them, and afterwards his brothers spoke with him".

This is how to progress in marriage and in family life, and how to build good relationships in general: instead of keeping silent and building up anger, open the heart and share with one another, speak openly, and continue to move forward together.

• Translation by Yehoshua Siskin