Freed hostage Or Levy shared with CNN harrowing details of his 491 days spent in Hamas captivity, a period marked by brutal conditions and the devastating loss of his wife, Einav, during the October 7, 2023 attacks.
Levy, who was released in February, described his experience as a "rollercoaster of emotions" since his return five months ago.
Levy's emaciated appearance upon his release served as a stark reminder of the ordeal he endured, much of it spent underground, shackled and subsisting on a single pita daily. "It's hard to understand how difficult it is to live on one pita a day for 491 days… no human should live like that," Levy told CNN. He expressed deep concern for those still held captive, noting, "And for the people that are still there, I know those days were even worse than what I've been through - and it's scary."
Upon his release, Levy's first question to the Israeli military representative was about his wife. Despite suspecting her death for nearly 500 days, he held onto a sliver of hope. "I asked her about my wife. I told her that I think I know, but I'm not 100% certain, and that I want to know," Levy recounted. "And then she told me."
Throughout his captivity, Levy found strength in focusing on his son, Almog, and a mantra shared by fellow hostage Hersh Goldberg-Polin, who was brutally murdered by Hamas along with five other hostages before they could be rescued by the IDF. That mantra is: "He who has a 'why' can bear any 'how'."
Almog, who was two years old when Levy was kidnapped, became his "why." Levy recently celebrated Almog's fourth birthday at home, a promise he made to himself while in captivity. He has since tattooed the survival mantra on his arm as a permanent reminder.
Levy is now dedicated to being a full-time father to Almog, navigating his son's questions about his "far place" of captivity and his mother. "The story that we told - that he knows - is that a big bomb happened and that unfortunately, mom is dead and I was taken to a far place, and people were trying to get me home," Levy explained.
He makes a point of speaking about Einav daily, showing pictures and sharing stories to ensure Almog remembers her. "Even when it's hard," Levy affirmed, "It's harder for him (to not remember his mother)."
Despite his personal reunion, Levy emphasized that his ordeal remains incomplete until all hostages are returned.
"The fact that people are still there haunts me in the night," he admitted to CNN, highlighting the distress caused by stalled ceasefire negotiations, which he noted often lead to harsher treatment of captives by Hamas.
"Very easily, I could have been still there," he reflected, thinking of Alon Ohel, a 24-year-old hostage with whom he spent much of his captivity and who remains in Gaza. "I think that nothing is worth more than getting those people home. I know that we need to push on to get a deal that gets everyone home and finish everything. Finish everything."