Ilana Gritzewsky and her partner Matan Zangauker were kidnapped from their home in Kibbutz Nir Oz by Hamas terrorists. Ilana was released after 55 days in captivity, but Matan still remains captive in Gaza after 538 days.
Following her recent interview with the New York Times, Gritzewsky shared her deeply personal testimony about her kidnapping, her recovery and the fight for a deal to bring Matan and 58 other hostages home.
“Fifteen months ago, I returned from captivity in Gaza — but I am still not free. My body is here, but my heart and mind remain there: with Matan, with my friends, with all the hostages still held in darkness. Since the moment I was released, I haven’t had a single moment of peace. I live with the question: why am I here, and they are not?” Gritzewsky said.
She stated, “I know that sexual abuse doesn’t only happen to women — it also happens to the men still in captivity. And as I promised those I left behind in the tunnels, I will raise my voice as much as I can to bring them home, and to empower other women to raise theirs. Only when they are all freed will I feel free."
"It’s incredibly hard to begin healing when the person I was meant to build my life with is still in captivity. Every time I open the fridge I think: why do I have the right to this and they don’t? Why can I hug my mother and they cannot? Why can I eat while they can’t?" she wondered.
She continued, "I am here to cry out for those who cannot speak, for those who depend on us — those of us on the outside — to save them. My experience is my pain. I never liked being in front of people and sharing it. But I don’t have that privilege. I cannot stay silent while others continue to suffer."
“This is not a political issue or a military strategy — it is a moral duty. Only a deal will bring them home, the living and the dead. I know Matan is alive. I saw him in a video: thin, terrified, his eyes begging for help. It shattered me — but it also gave me hope. He is there. And I will not stop until he returns. We must not wait. If we wait, there will be no one left to bring back,” Zangauker concluded.