The 50 top reasons for not making aliya to Israel

Hey American Jews: “Break on through, break on through, break on through to the other side….”

Tzvi Fishman

OpEds Aliyah

A thousand years ago, when Arutz 7 was broadcasting from a boat in the Mediterranean, Baruch Gordon started INN radio broadcasts in English with Rabbi David Samson. I hosted an Aliyah interview show called “Break on Through.” Fittingly, the theme song of the show was the once famous song of the “Doors” –

“Break on through, break on through, break on through to the other side….”

This week, watching some of the live INN clips from AIPAC, I thought of the Jim Morrison song. I wanted to scream out to the Jews of America, “Break on through, break on through, break on through to the other side….”

American Jews believe it is perfectly all right to live in America. Sorry. I used to live there. It’s darkness. Darkness mamash.

“Break on through, break on through….”

I remember being at a “Doors” concert at the Fillmore East in Greenwich Village in the late Sixties when I heard the song for the very first time. It was during the Vietnam War and student protests had closed down NYU where I was a student in the Film School. In those days, we were “breaking through” the corrupt policies of America where money and power mean everything. Most of my friends from those days are successful investment bankers today,,,.

I chose the path of t’shuva and Aliyah and, in the words of the poet, Robert Frost:

“Two roads diverged in a wood – and I

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

In a previous Op-Ed, I listed some main reasons to come on Aliyah. Some readers wrote, perhaps justifiably, that Aliyah isn’t for everyone. My answer is first move to Israel and experience the difference. If a person, for whatever reason, can’t manage to get along here, at least he or she gave it the old American try.

Admittedly, for an established, middle-aged person, Aliyah is a challenge, but Avraham came to Israel when he was ninety, at a time when there were idol worshippers and a severe economic crisis in the Land, yet he stuck it out and reaped never-ending reward for his effort. He broke on through by smashing all of the statues in his father’s idol store, and by following the command, “Lech lecha,” – “Get thee forth to the Land.”

As Jews, we all share the genes of our Forefather Avraham, and we all have the potential to make Aliyah work. At the very least, for American Jews who can’t, for whatever justifiable reason, move to Israel, they should at least tell their children and grandchildren the truth that their future as Jews is in the Land of Israel. Otherwise, with the skyrocketing assimilation in America, Judaism is finished there, along with the Jews.

It’s a simple mathematical equation known as the Bell Curve. Nothing can prevent it – not AIPAC, Birthright, or Nefesh B’Nefesh. The fact that you have to bribe Jews with free tickets to bring them to Israel is proof that something is wrong with the state of American Jewry.

Break on through, break on through – break on through to the other side!

Break on through… break on through… break on through!   

The 50 Top Excuses for Not Making Aliyah

1. Israel is too hot.

2. Israel is too cold.

3. The taxes are too high.

4. I won’t be able to make a living.

5. I don’t want to serve in the army.

6. I don’t want my children to serve in the army.

7. The Israelis are rude.

8. I hate getting elbowed.

9. You can’t find a real bagel.

10. The cream cheese stinks.

11. The pastrami is lousy.

12. They don’t have real rye bread.

13.  I can’t leave my parents.

14. No baseball.

15. I’m afraid to drive there.

16. I’m afraid of the Arabs.

17. I’m afraid of my mother.

18. I can’t learn Hebrew at my age.

19. The Israelis make fun of American accents.

20. The State of Israel is treif.

21. There’s preetzut (lack of modesty) all over the place.

22. They kicked Jews out of their homes in Gush Katif.

23. They hate the Orthodox.

24. There’s only one golf course.

25. It is too far away from the Caribbean.

26. You can serve Hashem anywhere.

27. My girlfriend doesn’t want to leave her parents.

28. It isn’t written in the Torah.

29. The Gedolim say we don’t have to go.

30. I’m waiting for Moshiach.

31. I don’t want to leave my psychiatrist.

32. I don’t want to leave my neurologist.

33. I don’t want to leave my hairdresser.

34. The toilet paper is too thin.

35. The bathrooms are too small.

36. There’s not enough central heating.

37. There’s no wall-to-wall carpeting.

38. I’ll miss Xmas shopping.

39. I can’t stomach humus.

40. Falafel gives me indigestion.

41. They won’t accept my wife’s conversion.

42. I don’t know anybody there.

43. No one cares about your problems.

44. I won’t be able to find a job as a Rabbi.

45. I still have to pay off college debts.

46. You can’t get the NY Sunday Times.

47. The move will be too traumatic for my dog.

48. Iran is building a nuclear bomb.

49. I’m proud to be an American Jew.

50. Hashem wants us to stay in exile – otherwise He wouldn’t have put us here.

Did I miss anything?