Two Brothers, Two Very Different Paths
Parshat Toldot tells the story of the birth of twins to Isaac and Rebecca. The brothers could not have been more different. Esau was “a man of the field who knew how to hunt" (Genesis 25:27).
A person who hunts animals for a living must sharpen his senses and learn the habits of his prey to outsmart and catch them off guard. Such a person can apply these skills to his interactions with people as well. He can become a powerful leader who knows how to control and manipulate his subjects.
On the other hand, Jacob was the polar opposite of his powerful brother. He was a “pure person who dwelled in tents" (Genesis 25:27). Rashi explains that this refers to the “tents of Torah." This interpretation makes perfect sense, because we don’t need to know what type of dwelling he lived in. Thus, Jacob was a morally wholesome individual who was absorbed in learning.
What was the parents’ attitude to their very different children? The verse states that, “Isaac loved Esau, because the hunt was in his mouth, and Rebecca loved Jacob" (Genesis 25:28).
Why Did Isaac Love Esau?
We can’t help but note that the profile omits Isaac’s attitude toward Jacob and Rebecca’s feelings about Esau. Some commentators are of the opinion that Isaac did love both his children, but preferred the older one. They therefore posit that Jacob was deprived of his father’s affection, though he did enjoy his mother’s love.
This understanding of the situation is troubling. Why would Isaac favor Esau over Jacob? We would expect the great tzaddik (righteous person), who had been raised by Abraham, to be most attracted to the son who was morally unblemished and steeped in the acquisition of knowledge. Was the opportunity to enjoy the delicious products of Esau’s hunts so important that it forged the exceptionally close bond between them?
I interpret the verses differently. In my opinion, there is no question that Isaac had great love for Jacob. In describing Jacob as a man who spent all his time in the academies of study, the Torah is implicitly communicating that Isaac, for whom nothing was more important than intellectual and moral perfection, was of course deeply attached to him.
Therefore, there was no necessity to mention that Jacob’s father loved him. The verse is more concerned about Isaac’s attitude toward Esau, who was a much more complicated person than his younger sibling. It is simplistic and demeaning to believe that Isaac loved him because he provided the tasty food.
Esau’s Religious Behavior and Hidden Motives
The Rabbis extol the way Esau fulfilled the mitzvah of “honor thy father and mother," and preparing delicious meals was his way of fulfilling that commandment. Not only that, but Esau was meticulous in his performance of all his halakhic responsibilities. He would constantly ask his father about his charitable obligations, such as, “Is one bound to tithe the straw?"
The Rabbis say the phrase “the hunt was in his mouth" should be understood as saying that Esau hunted his father with his words and behaviors, which were calculated to create a certain image of himself in his father’s psyche.
In my opinion, this is not to say that Esau was a phony who acted a certain way only to gain approval. He was sincere, but lacked self awareness. He believed he was acting for the right reasons, but was not cognizant of his true motivation. This proved to constitute a major hindrance to his ultimate moral development.
Rebecca’s Clearer Understanding
Rebecca was more astute in this matter. Growing up in Lavan’s house, she was aware of the kinds of people who behaved one way because of appearances, but were not perfected from within. Notice that the verse says that “Rebecca loved Jacob." This doesn’t mean that she hated or disliked Esau. It means that she only loved Jacob, because he was wholehearted and without guile.
She was suspicious of Esau and withheld positive judgment. This skepticism proved to be of immense significance when she intervened to prevent Isaac’s blessings to be conferred on the unworthy Esau, which would have been a calamity.
Lessons in Self-Knowledge and Parenting
This story contains profound lessons. We must be careful to remain aware of our true nature and avoid self deception. A false sense of moral righteousness can be a great liability in the pursuit of actual spiritual growth and perfection.
It is equally important to be judicious and honestly objective in evaluating our children. We have very powerful motives to want to see them in a certain light. However, we have a great responsibility to guide them along the path of righteousness, and this can only be accomplished when we maintain a clear perception of their actual nature.
May we merit to succeed as individuals and as parents who seek only the genuine best for our children. And may Hashem guide and assist us in this holy endeavor.
Shabbat Shalom!
Reprinted from Eternally Yours: God’s Greatest Gift to Mankind (2018)
ABOUT RABBI REUVEN MANN ZT"L (1944-2025)
Rabbi Mann was a distinguished Torah scholar, educator, and co-founder of Yeshiva Bnei Torah and the Masoret Institute of Judaic Studies for Women. A devoted teacher for over five decades, he inspired generations of students through his rigorous, philosophically insightful approach to Torah and his unwavering commitment to the pursuit of truth.