Abraham’s Extraordinary Hospitality
Parshat Vayeira begins with an account of Abraham’s treatment of the three strangers who “happened" to come his way. It would appear that he initially was unaware that they were not ordinary humans, but “angels of God."
According to the Rabbis, this encounter occurred on the third day after Abraham entered the Covenant of Hashem through circumcision. He was 99 years old at the time and fully prepared to endure this painful procedure. Of course, none of the ameliorating paraphernalia of contemporary medicine were available.
The surgery had to have been a painful and risky experience. Yet for Abraham, it was an opportunity to perform a great mitzvah and establish the eternal Covenant between Hashem and the Jewish People.
Now, while recuperating, he was sitting outside his tent “in the heat of the day" (Genesis 18:1). Suddenly, he spotted three travelers in the distance. He sprang from his place and ran after them. He entreated them to stop by his tent and allow him the chance to provide them with refreshments. They demurred, but he insisted, and they accepted the invitation.
The Torah provides a great deal of detail about serving the guests. Of course, providing hospitality to strangers is a great mitzvah, but why must we know that Abraham, himself, selected the calf, instructed Sarah to hurriedly bake the cakes, personally set butter and milk before them, and “stood over" them as a waiter while they had their meal?
Finding Purpose in the Midst of Pain
Again, it should be stressed that this took place when Abraham was convalescing from a painful surgery and should have been resting in a cool and comfortable place. He chose to sit outside in the heat in search of possible visitors.
The Rabbis say that Hashem had increased the power of the sun to discourage people from going out and thus spare Abraham the task of serving them. However, when Hashem saw that this caused Abraham distress, he sent the three “angels" his way.
There is an important teaching here. Instinctively, we withdraw when in pain and desist from all activity.
Abraham had a different method of dealing with discomfort. He believed that energetic involvement in constructive tasks takes the mind off of one’s pain and facilitates the healing process.
This is not to deny that there are times when it is vitally important to have total emotional and physical rest. However, creative and productive activity definitely has healthful and life-prolonging benefits.
Hashem recognized that Abraham was unhappy when he was prevented from performing hachnasat orchim (hospitality to strangers). God’s get-well gift was a group of three wayfarers who came within Abraham’s line of vision. Suddenly rejuvenated, our Patriarch sprang into action.
The Deeper Meaning of Chesed
However, the question remains, why is it necessary to go into such extensive detail? Also, why was it not enough for Abraham to instruct his servants to prepare and serve the meal? Why did Abraham stand over the guests as a waiter, rather than join them at the head of the table?
There is no doubt that chesed (compassionate activism) is a major foundational principle of Torah. This is incorporated in the injunction to “love your friend as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18). We must be concerned about the welfare of all and provide food and shelter for those in need.
There is, however, a more profound dimension to the practice of chesed that Abraham exemplified. To grasp it, we must turn to the Passover Haggadah, which discusses the “four sons," each of whom represents a certain mindset that educators must be able to relate to.
Creating the Desire to Learn
The most challenging is the one who “does not know to ask." He displays no intellectual or emotional interest in the subject at hand.
The Haggadah is making a major point. We have an obligation to teach Torah, but that would seem to presuppose that there are students who desire our knowledge. We might have thought that the obligation to instruct is restricted to individuals who have some curiosity about the subject, even if at the most minimal level.
What if someone has absolutely no interest and has no questions? How can there be a responsibility to teach him?
The Haggadah famously answers, “you initiate him." That means that we have to somehow transform him into a student. We must instill in him a desire to study the subject. But that is easier said than done!
Friendship: The Foundation of Teaching
Abraham demonstrated the true approach to kiruv (outreach). You must start the process by becoming his friend. You must establish a personal bond by a demonstration of genuine concern for him as an individual.
That is why Abraham did not delegate the care of his guests to others, but tended to the many details by himself. He didn’t sit above them at the head of the table, but served as their waiter, ready and eager to cater to their wants.
This was his modus operandi. The Torah refers to his disciples as the “souls they had acquired in Haran" (Genesis 12:5). He won people’s hearts by his display of genuine love and friendship.
Those people, in turn, responded to Abraham’s humility, generosity, and sincere desire to spend time with them. His camaraderie made a profound impression and led to intense conversations. People became extremely curious about the philosophy of life that under-lied Abraham’s uniquely caring and loving personality.
When it came time for his guests to thank him, Abraham challenged them, asking: “Why do you thank me? Am I the true provider if this bounty?" A new relationship, that of teacher and student, had been established.
Reprinted from Eternally Yours: God’s Greatest Gift to Mankind (2018).
Questions? Comments? Mitch Rosner • WhatsApp: 054-426-3419 • mitchrosner@gmail.com