Iris Haim, the mother of hostage Yotam Haim, who was accidentally killed by IDF soldiers in Gaza, has published a moving message of support for Aviad Frija, whose trial has sparked controversy, calling for compassion and understanding toward the soldier and his family.
“When you went out to fight on October 7, you went out to protect your people, the slaughtered," Haim wrote. “You went out to find hostages and bring them home. You are part of an immense chain of generations of soldiers who were thrown into impossible situations."
Haim said Frija was operating under a genuine threat during the incident, killing two terrorists and, in her view, preventing harm to civilians. “I wish the story ended here," she wrote. “But amid the chaos of battle and out of a desire to neutralize a terrorist, you struck one of ours, Yuval Kestelman, a hero."
She then connected the incident to her own personal tragedy. “Two weeks later, in a very similar incident, another hero was killed - Yotam, my son."
Haim described how the soldiers involved in the accidental killings of the three hostages in separate incidents eventually returned home. “Children, just like you," she wrote. “They could have been heroes who would have received a commendation for returning hostages, but fate wanted otherwise. A mark of shame was etched onto their foreheads. They were the ones who killed the three hostages."
According to Haim, the key difference between the cases lies not in the circumstances but in how the families responded. “My family and I understood immediately that blaming the soldiers would harm the soldiers’ morale and harm the morale of the public," she wrote. “It was important for us to say that we hold no anger toward them. The pain over Yotam’s passing continues to burn within us and will always be there, but anger, accusation, and revenge will not bring Yotam back to the world. They will only lead to further death."
Haim said she had met members of the Kestelman family and had followed the legal proceedings against Frija. “I am very saddened," she wrote, while stressing that she does not judge the path chosen by Kestelman’s family. “Everyone can choose whether to get angry and remain in the captivity of anger, revenge, and judgment, or to choose compassion, love, and hope. Anyone could have found themselves in your shoes. Not sure that everyone would have managed to kill two terrorists. Hold on. I am with you."
Kestelman was killed in a terror atttack in Jerusalem. Two terrorists had pulled up to a bus stop and opened fire on the crowd, killing and injuring dozens of victims. Kestelman, rushing to engage the terrorists, was shot and killed by two IDF soldiers who were likewise rushing the terrorists. Video of the incident appears to show him trying to prove he was not a threat, including kneeling, taking off his jacket, raising his hands, calling out that he was israeli, and trying to toss his identification to one of the soldiers. Despite his efforts, he was shot multiple times, with medical personnel mistaking him as a terrorist as well and not prioritizing his wounds. He was eventually evacuated to a hospital but died in hospital care.
Following the incident, Kestelman's family demanded an investigation, and the Military Police began the process of bringing Frija up on charges of manslaughter.