Popular Chabad-Lubavitch hasidic singer Benny Friedman shared on air that he has an autistic son, sending a message of inspiration and hope to thousands of families worldwide.
In an interview with Menachem Toker on Kol Hai Radio, Friedman said that singer and songwriter Ari Goldwag sent him a song, and that his son latched onto it right away.
"I have a son with autism, and he got excited about this song," he said. "So I told my wife, 'I’m not sure, I don’t know about this song.' But [she said], 'Your son loves the song.'" In the end, it became the song that he opened an album with.
Friedman also shared that the son in question is the couple's fourth child, and is just days away from his seventh birthday.
When asked if the child lives at home, he said, "Yes yes, thank G-d, yes. .... In English, they say 'high functioning.' ... He functions. It’s a great miracle from G-d. He is now starting to learn all day in a regular school."
"My wife is a miracle worker," Friedman explained, when asked how his son is capable of such a thing. "She worked very, very, very, very, very, very, very hard with him. ..... She has legendary patience, a legend. I don't have it."
"And I think it’s very, very, very important, and I felt it too, it’s hard to accept it at the beginning - to accept it and do things in order to help it. Because, deep down in your soul, you want your child to be normal. No, no, he doesn’t need a special place, he doesn’t need special help, he doesn’t need this and that. And that’s a mistake.
"If you can discover what he needs at a younger age, as young as you can, it helps so much, it can change his life."
Friedman recalled that their own journey began because their son had vision issues, "so at first, immediately, we thought he couldn't see, so immediately we went to doctors and started, and at a very, very young age, we discovered he has autism. And we immediately started with therapies."
"Don't say, 'My son doesn’t need it. My son doesn’t need it.' He's okay, he doesn’t need it. Maybe your son doesn’t need it, I’m not saying everyone needs it, but when your son does need it, give it to him, and as early as possible. Because it changes life."
Praising his wife for handling it all on her own, Friedman added, "I always say, my wife is a single mother. It’s unbelievable."
Asked whether there were moments in his career when it was hard for him to perform, or whether he always managed okay, he responded, "No, it was terrible. It was terrible."
"You can break through it. You can go into the adrenaline. It helps. But sometimes you have no energy. You don’t have... also, children with autism, it’s hard for them to sleep at night. So you can, you know what I mean? Try to sleep...try to sleep, and they won’t let you come to the performance exhausted. Thank G-d. It's a story that's really, really...."
Toker commented, "This is amazing though. It's an amazing story. But listen, it’s an amazing story you’re doing. You’re strengthening here, you don’t understand how many responses you’ll get now. You’re strengthening people here who each have their own struggle. Maybe it was worth all this interview for this conversation, for what just happened in these four minutes. Really, you know? You can’t know who is listening to you and has a child [like this] and doesn’t know. And they're getting tips from Benny Friedman."
"There you go," Friedman responded. I didn’t intend to talk about it. It was a mistake."
"Well done, you’re a hero, and you and the family, it’s amazing," Toker concluded.