In two places, our Sagess draw on the Splitting of the Sea to illustrate something as being “difficult". In Mesechta Sotah the Gemara teaches that making a union between husband and wife is “as difficult as Kriat Yam Suf". Technically this is said in reference to second marriages which are non pre-ordained, but dependent on the merits of the man and woman. However, later Jewish works use this phrase in context of all marriages.
The other time this phrase is found, is at the end of Mesechta Pesachim, which teaches that providing a living, parnasa, for man is “as difficult as the splitting of the sea".
This statement itself is difficult to understand. The literal reading of the Gemara suggests that making Shidduchim and providing parnasa are difficult for Hashem, just like Kriat Yam Suf was difficult for Hashem. The problem with this, is that nothing is difficult for Hashem.
The commentators explain that the sages did not believe that something could be difficult for Hashem. Rather, the term difficult is used itself as a metaphor. Hashem created the world to operate according to natural order. Relative to the normal structure, miracles, which are the suspension of the natural order, are called “difficult".
Our sages are alluding to the fact that in bringing a couple together, or in providing us our parnasa, Hashem does not leave things to their natural evolution. Rather, like performing miracles, Hashem directly involves Himself and shifts the natural courses to bring about these outcomes.
But why then is the miracle of Kriat Yam Suf specifically employed as the metaphor. There are many other miracles recorded in the Tanach which also reflect how Hashem suspended the natural order. There must be a deeper connection between Parnasa and Shidduchim and the specific nature of the miracle of Kriat Yam Suf.
Chassidus explains that the splitting of the sea involved fusing two opposites together. The sea was transformed to dry land and the Posuk records that the Jewish people “walked on the dry land through the sea". This suggests that the sea was not removed. It remained a sea, but the sea was dry land. The difficulty of Kriat Yam Suf is the illogical reconciliation of two opposite forces in a way that they are not contradictory and operate in complete unity.
The union of two opposites can only come about through a miraculous involvement of Hashem.
The metaphor is thus very fitting for the union of husband and wife. Our sages teach that man and woman are so different from one another, that they are like two different species. In addition, we enter marriage as two unique individuals with different backgrounds and experiences, personalities, ways of thinking, communicating and doing things. Yet, we have to not only get along, we have to forge the oneness of becoming “one flesh".
According to logic, nature and rationale, this goal is impossible. It is only attainable through the power of the Divine Hand.
How is this message relevant to Parnasa? What paradox needs to be resolved and what opposites need to be united in providing us a living?
When it comes to Parnasa, we are supposed to rely on Hashem, as the one who “feeds and sustains all". This is the Middah of Bitachon, where we trust that Hashem will provide us with our needs and that He alone is the source of our livelihood.
At the same time, the Torah requires us to work for our living. This is referred to as Hishtadlut, the human effort and input that is required.
Bitachon and Hishtadlut seem to be logically contradictory. If Hashem is the source of our Paranasa, what need is there for my work? Like the Manna in the desert, I should be able to sit at home without doing anything and expect that Hashem will provide for me. Conversely, if my work is necessary to earn a living, then it is no longer Hashem alone who provides my Parnasa, which is at least in part, attributable to my work.
The work that we do does not generate our Parnasa. Parnasa comes from Hashem. Our effort is merely making the vessel through which Hashem’s blessings are manifest. Therefore, as the Frierdike Rebbe taught, that no amount of extra effort can earn us even one cent more than what Hashem has determined. Why is this vessel needed? This too is only because Hashem decided that this is how it should be and this is what we are supposed to do.
Bitachon without Hishtadlut is not difficult. On its level, it makes sense. The logical conclusion is that if Hashem is providing for me, I do not need to put in effort. Hishtadlut without Bitachon also makes sense, where we see our work and effort as generating our Parnasa based on the logical correlation.
The difficulty is weaving the paradox together and synthesizing the two, not as a balance but as a complete oneness in tandem. At the same time that we know that we have to work and put in effort, we have to also know that our work does not generate our income, which comes only from Hashem’s blessing.
The great Chassidic Rebbe, Reb Simcha Bunim of Peshischa, is recorded as teaching that the difficulty mentioned in the Gemara is not referring to Hashem. Rather, it is referring to the difficulty for man.
In both parnasa and marriage, we need to resemble Hashem; to transcend our logical understandings and our natural need for things to make sense. Then, like splitting the sea, we can achieve the miraculous and unite the opposites together.