Rabbi Gideon Weitzman is former rosh kollel in Kansas City, currently head of the English Speakers Department at the Puah Institute.
A Great Miracle
"And Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in years". In Parashat Vayera an angel promises the old couple that they will have a child. This seemed like such a miracle to them that Sarah responded with laughter, which gave the baby his name, Yitzchak, Isaac.
This was such an exceptional case, a truly obvious miracle, for an old couple to have a child, for whom they had waited so long, prayed and poured out their hearts before their Father in heaven.
But we live in amazing times; God has given humans great wisdom and we have been blessed with enormous technological development. Today this miracle happens every day. Due to the development of science and medicine, an elderly couple can undergo fertility treatments and have a child.
However, we know that there is a decline in fertility, especially female fertility, due to age. The eggs "age" because of the mitochondria, the bacteria of the cell, or because of the genetic divisions. Therefore, in most cases, a woman over 45 who needs fertility treatments will have to use the eggs of another woman, in a process called egg donation.
Through this treatment, this woman can merit to have a child, a great miracle, similar to the miracle of Abraham and Sarah. It is very moving to see such couples, who have a baby after so many years of prayer, crying and anticipation. This is replaced by laughter and tremendous joy.
Who is the Mother?
But this treatment raises a lot of questions and debate. The most famous question is what determines motherhood? Who is the mother, the woman who supplies the egg, the genetic material, or the one who carries the pregnancy and gives birth to the child?
Science cannot provide a clear answer to this question. The egg contains all the genetic material, the instructions for building a human being. Without the egg, man cannot be created and born. Therefore, there is appropriate to claim that the egg donor is the mother.
On the other hand, genetic material alone is not a human being, and without the womb and the body that nourishes and protects the fetus there is no life at all. Accordingly, the woman who carries the pregnancy and finally gives birth to it, maybe she is the real mother.
Even in Halakha there is no decision; it is stated in the name of the important posek Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach ob”m that for every question he was asked he found a source in the extensive halakhic literature, except for one question, who is the mother in the case of egg donation?
Although there are scholars who have suggested different sources, the Gemara (Berachot 60) says that Leah prayed and the fetus in her womb changed from a son to a daughter, the Maharsha, due to a contradiction with another Gemara (Niddah 30), explains that Rachel and Leah were actually both pregnant and the male fetus that was in Leah's womb was switched with the female fetus that was in Rachel's womb. Therefore, while Rachel gave birth to Yosef and is considered his mother, she is not his genetic mother. This is "proof" that the birth is the most significant definition of motherhood.
There is another proof from a woman who converts while pregnant, and her sons born are considered Jewish even though genetically they did not come from "Jewish" eggs.
But others disagree and debunk every source. A source that proves the opposite is the words of the Gemara (Niddah 30) that there are three partners in a person, and that the father and mother contribute material that sounds like genetic material, regardless of pregnancy and birth.
The accepted position today is that if the egg donor is not Jewish and the mother is Jewish, the child is converted out of doubt. It is not considered a real conversion but to cover every opinion without making a definitive decision.
What is the status of such a conversion? Can a girl who has undergone such treatment marry a Cohen? Is the son of a cohen who has undergone such a conversion be considered a cohen and bless the people during the prayers?
So Many Questions
In addition there are numerous ethical questions. It is possible to perform treatment with egg donation, but is it appropriate to do so? Should the age of the woman and her husband be taken into account? Should the age of the parents be limited?
A child born to elderly parents, especially if it is their first child, will face many difficulties. In kindergarten his parents will be the age of the grandparents of most children, how will this affect him psychologically? They will be more limited physically and may age with all the relevant consequences while he is still a child.
In the State of Israel, the age of a woman who can receive an egg is limited, but the age of her husband is not taken into account. In other countries there is no legal restriction for women either. Is it appropriate to check their health status before agreeing to let them undergo egg donation? Who will decide the criteria for approving egg donation?
Should the State pay for this treatment? Is there a difference between those who already have children and those who do not? Will the person who postponed the birth on purpose be financed by the State? And if the State does not pay, does it have the right to limit the treatment?
Baruch Hashem who blessed us with great wisdom to deal with many problems in the field of fertility, but we need to know how to use this wisdom and the many gifts of technology very wisely and with great caution. Adam was given the task to work in the garden but also to know how to preserve it. This is our task as well.