Forbidden Mixtures
We find in the Torah that there are species which, by themselves, are kosher, but when mixed together, are forbidden. Such is the case with meat and milk – each of them separately are permitted, but it is forbidden to cook and eat them together. This is also true in regards to kilayim (a hybrid) of wool and linen, or vines with grain or vegetables, grafting of trees, and plowing an ox with a donkey. An important basic rule arises from these commandments – that sometimes, there are good ideas and values that when mixed together, can cause great damage.
Types of Mixtures
Occasionally, it involves a mixture of two ideas of unequal import, and as a result, placing the less significant matter on equal terms with the greater consideration, puts everything in disorder. Other times, it involves two parallel ideas that when mixed together, distort a person's rational thought.
For example, it is proper for a person to eat foods he finds tasty; but if one is deathly ill and certain foods may endanger his life, and nevertheless he continues eating them, then he transgresses the sin of mixing considerations of two unequal magnitudes, and risks his life. All the more so, if he avoids taking life-saving medication because of its bitter taste. An example of the mixing of two parallel ideas is, for example, mixing the concepts of Divine Providence and free will. I will discuss the two types of mixtures below.
An Analogy from the Preparations for a Wedding
Everyone agrees that it's appropriate for a woman who merits marrying off her daughter to honor the event, and go out of her way to buy a nice dress and matching shoes for the wedding. But compared to the participation in her daughter's wedding, the dress and shoes of the mother are insignificant. Therefore, the mother's main effort should be directed at assisting the bride to prepare for the wedding – finding nice clothes for her to wear, and taking care of all the accompanying details – while her own preparations, with all their importance, should be secondary.
However, if due to the fact that the mother cannot not find matching shoes she decides not to attend her daughter's wedding, she is of unsound mind, mixing together considerations of totally different magnitudes. Such a mixture is analogous to cooking meat with milk: the dress and shoes are in the sense of milk, and the very participation in the wedding, is in the sense of meat.
Even if the mother can invest as much time and energy in her daughter's preparations for the wedding as own, still, just by the very act of equating two considerations of unequal magnitudes and merits, she betrays her responsibility, and from then on, all the preparations she makes for the wedding will become a stumbling block. Instead of her daughter, the bride, taking enjoyment in her mother's beautiful clothes, it will arouse jealousy and frustration because they will reflect her mother's selfish character – that even before her daughter's wedding, she thinks mainly about herself, attempting to grab center stage. As a result, even when she makes an effort to help her daughter find a nice dress for the wedding, her actions will be tainted with egoism, and it will be impossible to escape the thought that it isn't her daughter she cares about, but rather, her main goal is boasting about her daughter in front of everyone else.
The Story of a Reckless and Murderous Driver
There was a man who was used to driving his jeep recklessly. His friends warned him about the potential danger, but he enjoyed driving fast, and ignored their warnings. One day, he carelessly crossed into an oncoming lane, collided with a family car, and killed all the occupants – the parents, and two children. When he realized the consequences of the accident, he was in shock, horror, and sorrow, and despair filled his heart. The police treated him cruelly, but he understood them – after all, there were four dead people.... At night, he had trouble falling asleep, remembering his friend's warnings advising him to drive carefully, and grave feelings of remorse and grief terrified his sleep. How could he continue living? Even his wife was unable to console him.
And it came to pass that in the morning his spirit was stirred, and he suddenly had an insight. After all, he thought to himself, the Sages had said: "No man bruises his finger here on earth unless it was so decreed against him in heaven." In view of that, he wasn't the one who actually killed those people – God Himself condemned them to die, and he was only the poor one chosen carry out the decree. In truth, he was not at fault, and his friends who had warned him to drive carefully had treated him erroneously, because in truth, their warnings implied a certain contempt for God – as if to say, it's not God who runs the world. The policemen who reprimanded him also acted wrongly, because, after all, there was no connection whatsoever between his driving and the accident. Everything comes from God, King of the World, who decreed that this family should die; most probably, they had sinned gravely, and deserved to die. In any case, even if they weren't completely wicked, it was a decree from Heaven that all of them be killed, and it has nothing to do with him.
God's calculations are beyond his reach; all he must do now is strengthen himself with all his might in faith in God, and to remember and know that everything is Divine providence from God, and there is no connection at all between his reckless driving and the deaths of these four people. In opposition to all his detractors, he must fight for his innocence and prove in court that it was the father of the family who veered out of lane. And even though in truth, he was the one who veered out of lane, since God directs everything, despite his having swerved, he is innocent because even his swerving out of lane was directed by God, in order to carry out the verdict of the family.
True, he still has to contend with his conscience gnawing at his heart; consequently, to overcome his "weakness of faith", he will go to receive blessings from the "tzadikim". They, upon seeing the purity of his heart (for indeed, he will give a nice contribution to the 'kollel' under their patronage), will bless him that he should be acquitted. He will even ask the "tzadikim" to curse the members of the deceased family, and the evil lawyers who level harsh words against him.
Mixing Free Will and Divine Providence
The sin of this man is that he mixed two different ideas – free will, and Divine Providence. When a person is careful to separate these two ideas, he understands that faith in Divine Providence in no way diminishes man's responsibility for his actions. These are two systems that must exist concurrently, but when mixed together, both of them break down; belief in Divine Providence turns into terrible egoism, without a hint of true faith, but rather, complete idol worship, because man uses the power of faith to justify his actions, but in actuality he is serving himself, and as a result, his moral responsibility for his actions goes awry.
The murderous driver must first recognize the severity of his terrible crime, have complete regret and remorse for all of his reckless behavior, accept the punishment he deserves, and contemplate how he can correct his ways in the future. Also, he must do everything in his power to appease and benefit the grieving family, and to set up a memorial in memory of those killed in the accident. After this, he must believe that even from this awful place which he has reached, he can return in complete repentance –until all from his sorrow, regret, and rectifications, all his sins will be forgiven, and then, he can also believe that everything came from God and was for the best.
A Different Story about a Reckless and Murderous Driver
Some people react differently. For example, someone who was used to driving recklessly and ran over and killed four family members, but, unlike the previous man, understood he was completely guilty; his heart was filled with sorrow and regret, he recalled the warnings of his friends, and realized just how right they were. Entire days, he could not sleep properly. Minutes after dozing-off, in his mind he would see the dead, and would wake up in horror. He stopped bathing, did not brush his teeth, and could not even eat – the grief and despair completely destroyed his appetite. His friends told him he had to see a doctor to get sedatives, and if that did not work, he should get psychological help. But he refused because when they mentioned this, pictures of the deceased ran through his mind. In his heart he thought: how could he worry about himself, about his lack of sleep, about his abnormal eating and drinking, when right now, the bodies of the people he had run over were rotting in their graves. Thus, gradually, the murderous driver cut himself off from the entire world, stopped worrying about his family, went insane, and died at an early age.
This person also committed the sin of mixing issues. Certainly, he is obligated to regret, repent, and do everything to atone for his sin. However, at the same time, he must take care of his health so he can fulfill his duties towards his family and repent, so he can do whatever possible to elevate the souls of the people he ran over.
Theresa May
As terrorists continue executing attacks in the name of Islam throughout Europe, and while most of the leadership of the Western world has yet to understand the danger of Muslim violence – and in its moral blindness, is still wont to blame Israel for the conflict in Eretz Yisrael – we can gain a certain amount of comfort and satisfaction from the newly appointed government in Britain headed by Theresa May.
In her speech to the members of B'nei Akiva a year ago on Israel's Independence Day, Theresa May called attention to a deep and meaningful point which few leaders of the nations of the world understand. Several times she mentioned that, unlike all other peoples, Jewish survival is not a given. For the individual Jew, his country, and his people, there is a constant existential threat, and the Jewish nation must constantly defend itself against repeated attempts to destroy her.
Hopefully, a leader who merits such wisdom and sensitivity, will have the moral courage to stand with Israel. The new Foreign Minister, Boris Johnson, is also known to be a friend of Israel, to the point where during his recent visit to Israel, the Arabs refused to host him in Ramallah because of his determined stance opposed to any type of boycott against the State of Israel.
In contrast to the majority of Israel's media, who suffer from a lack of knowledge and impaired moral judgment, it would be fitting for media personalities who have a strong Jewish identity to take note during these days when we read the Haftarot of consolation, the positive processes occurring in the global arena. And thus, we will all pray that Am Yisrael merits fulfilling its great, Heavenly-designated mission, by sanctifying the name God and repairing the world, and merit, along with the entire world, true peace.
This article appears in the 'Besheva' newspaper, and was translated from Hebrew. Other interesting, informative, and thought-provoking articles by Rabbi Melamed can be found at:http://en.yhb.org.il/