The English-language Arab News, out of Saudi Arabia, carried a sarcastic column on November 2 entitled, “Those Who Guard Our Morals From Hidden Danger”. The piece, by Amr Mohammed al-Faisal, provided a biting, comic look at the Saudi “religious police”.
The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, known in Saudi Arabia simply as the Muttawa, or religious police, is responsible for enforcing the Islamic codes of dress, morality and religious behavior. The force is made of more than 3,500 officers and thousands of volunteers.
One of the Commission’s crusades of late, according to the writer, was against a product name that he had tried to register. According to the Muttawa, the Arab News article complains, the name of the product, Explorer, was objectionable. “The learned scholars of the commission rightly noted that the letter X in the name was a cross, and this aroused their delicate Islamic sensibilities and they banned the registration.”
At that comment, the article launches into a sarcastic diatribe: “I am greatly relieved that thanks to the vigilance of the commission a great tragedy was avoided. Until then I had innocently and, I must admit, naively assumed that the letter X was just that, a letter of the alphabet, not, as it turns out, a cunning and dastardly plot by Christians to corrupt our Muslim faith.
“Think, dear readers, of all the awful things that occur around us as we walk in our innocent ways; but, thanks to the selfless vigilance of these learned people, we can feel truly safe.”
Al-Faisal gets into the spirit of things and adds, “I would like to respectfully suggest to the scholars of the commission some humble ideas to help them in their struggle to maintain our moral vigor. I recommend that they immediately issue an order to the Ministries of both Education and Higher Learning to change all text books containing the plus sign + and the multiplication sign x.
“Can you imagine, dear readers, what damage is being done to the minds of our unsuspecting youth as they innocently use these pernicious symbols?
“These symbols should be immediately replaced by tasteful little crescents designed by the scholars of the commission.
“In addition, I urge them to order the Ministry of Information to ban forthwith any books or publications written in the Latin script until they replace all the X's with Islamic crescents.”
In conclusion, the Saudi article takes a serious turn: “Dear readers, some of you may find this to be a humorous story and will laugh, but for the Muslims amongst you, it would be better to cry.”
The Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, known in Saudi Arabia simply as the Muttawa, or religious police, is responsible for enforcing the Islamic codes of dress, morality and religious behavior. The force is made of more than 3,500 officers and thousands of volunteers.
One of the Commission’s crusades of late, according to the writer, was against a product name that he had tried to register. According to the Muttawa, the Arab News article complains, the name of the product, Explorer, was objectionable. “The learned scholars of the commission rightly noted that the letter X in the name was a cross, and this aroused their delicate Islamic sensibilities and they banned the registration.”
At that comment, the article launches into a sarcastic diatribe: “I am greatly relieved that thanks to the vigilance of the commission a great tragedy was avoided. Until then I had innocently and, I must admit, naively assumed that the letter X was just that, a letter of the alphabet, not, as it turns out, a cunning and dastardly plot by Christians to corrupt our Muslim faith.
“Think, dear readers, of all the awful things that occur around us as we walk in our innocent ways; but, thanks to the selfless vigilance of these learned people, we can feel truly safe.”
Al-Faisal gets into the spirit of things and adds, “I would like to respectfully suggest to the scholars of the commission some humble ideas to help them in their struggle to maintain our moral vigor. I recommend that they immediately issue an order to the Ministries of both Education and Higher Learning to change all text books containing the plus sign + and the multiplication sign x.
“Can you imagine, dear readers, what damage is being done to the minds of our unsuspecting youth as they innocently use these pernicious symbols?
“These symbols should be immediately replaced by tasteful little crescents designed by the scholars of the commission.
“In addition, I urge them to order the Ministry of Information to ban forthwith any books or publications written in the Latin script until they replace all the X's with Islamic crescents.”
In conclusion, the Saudi article takes a serious turn: “Dear readers, some of you may find this to be a humorous story and will laugh, but for the Muslims amongst you, it would be better to cry.”