Dr. Devorah Brim is a haredi psychology professor who lives in Jerusalem (and when triggered, will comment on sociopolitical issues).
It isn’t all that complicated. The hareidi perspective on the IDF. And yet so misunderstood. So many misconceptions, so much anger, frustration and resentment all around.
How do we bridge this terrible divide? I’m a therapist. And I’ve learned that to understand, to understand deeply, you need to listen, really listen. Without assuming. Without judging. So here is this hareidi’s perspective. I can’t speak for them all. “All" is very amorphous. But if you hear me out, maybe you can understand. And maybe things can change.
Hareidim have a perspective on the IDF and this is it. The IDF is a non-hareidi institution. Yes, I know you’re already judging. Not listening. Assuming. Please just listen. For all their diversity, hareidim have: an identity, a lifestyle, a value system, a mission. You don’t have to like it. Or agree with it. Condemn it or condone it, just understand this: they (we) will not compromise. Not now. Not ever.
Hareidim (by and large; there are always exceptions to every rule) will never join en masse a non-hareidi institution. They will not join the IDF as it is today. The same way they will not attend Bar-Ilan University. Or try out for Beitar Yerushalayim. Or send their young children to after-school chugim that are not Misgeret-approved. You can try to shame them, blame them, defame them. They will not compromise.
Please understand, this is not because they believe their blood is redder than yours. Not because they refuse to "share the burden". Not even because they believe their Talmud Torah is more important than the hishtadlus of defending one’s life. For a hundred and one reasons, they will not join a non-hareidi institution and, therefore, they will not join the IDF as it is today.
And so, we may need to reimagine what "sharing the burden" looks like. We may even need to reframe the term “sharing the burden". As an Ohr LaGoyim, a Mamlechet Cohanim, we shoulder many burdens. To differing degrees. The burden of self-defense may indeed be the loftiest. Pikuach Nefesh. Life-and-death. We get it. Hareidim want to share any burden that is Am Yisroel’s to carry. We adhere to, on a very fundamental level, the dictate of sharing the burden with fellow Jews, Nosei B’Ol Im Chveiro.
So help us help. I predict it will not be under the auspices of the IDF. I am no military expert, but perhaps we could consider establishing a civilian defense force. An auxiliary army. Or an alternative army under hareidi leadership and guidance. (Let us see how the haredi brigade works out, R.S.)
That’s divisive, you say. And the status-quo forced on all Israelis is not?
We need to do something different. Maybe anything different. Because, as we all know the quote in its various forms, doing the same thing over and again is the definition of insanity. We may need to work together by working apart. So be it. Let’s stay sane in this insane unfolding of what we hope and pray is the Hatchalta DeGeula.