“Shalom, I have a question regarding taharat hamishpacha," said the voice on the other end of the telephone. She then added, an unexpected, but not that uncommon, point “I’m not religious."
For the past twenty-seven years, I have had the privilege, and the immense responsibility, of serving as a rabbinic counselor at Machon PUAH. Every day is different. Most of my time is spent answering telephone calls, meeting with couples, and responding to emails and messages. Before I answer a call, I have no way of knowing what awaits me. It may be a question about fertility, contraception, intimacy, genetics, pregnancy, or any one of countless other issues that arise at the intersection of medicine, halachah, and family life.
Behind every halachic question is a family searching for hope>>>
Often, I know nothing about the person seeking guidance. I do not know whether they are young or old, religious or secular, newly married or grandparents, or what experiences have brought them to this moment. Each conversation begins with a question, but behind every question is a person, and an entire family, bearing hopes, fears, disappointments, and dreams. To answer well requires not only knowledge of halachah and medicine, but also sensitivity, empathy, patience, and the ability to listen.
Halachah itself is immutable. Yet the way it is communicated must always take into account the individual standing before us. Every person deserves to feel heard and respected. We regularly counsel couples in which one spouse is religious while the other is not, helping them navigate deeply personal decisions while preserving the dignity and values of both partners.
Recently, I received a frantic call from a couple whom we had first met more than twenty years earlier. With PUAH's guidance and halachic supervision, they had undergone donor conception and were blessed with the birth of a son. They had chosen never to tell him about his biological origins. Now, at the age of twenty, he had begun asking questions, and they feared he might learn the truth from someone else.
The halachic issues are important, and there are well-established discussions among the poskim. Many authorities maintain that the child's halachic mother is the woman who gave birth to him. But that was not the question this family was truly asking. They needed guidance in navigating the emotional consequences of a conversation that would forever change their son's understanding of his identity. They needed someone to help them approach that conversation with honesty, compassion, and sensitivity, while preserving the trust and love that had defined their family for two decades.
Not long ago, another call came from a young man whose world had just collapsed. He had been diagnosed with severe male-factor infertility and had been told that he would never be able to father children. He and his wife came to PUAH, where we carefully reviewed their medical findings and discussed additional investigations and treatment options that had not yet been explored. Although their situation was serious, our role is never limited to explaining the medical facts. We strive to offer realistic hope and to ensure that couples understand every avenue available to them.
Behind every halachic question is a family searching for hope>>>
They left our office encouraged, not because we could promise success, but because they knew they would not have to face the journey alone. At PUAH, they had found not only professional guidance, but also a community of counselors, rabbinic supervisors, social workers, and support groups ready to accompany them every step of the way.
Several weeks later, my telephone rang again. This time, the voice was filled with excitement. Additional testing had revealed a far more encouraging picture than they had first been led to believe. Their prognosis had improved dramatically, and with it came renewed hope that they might one day build the family they had dreamed of.
In another conversation, I found myself counseling a woman terrified that she would pass on a serious genetic condition to her children. Another conversation centered on a couple struggling with a difficult decision regarding contraception. Yet another involved a woman carrying a severely malformed fetus who faced the agonizing question of whether continuing the pregnancy was the right path.
Every call is different. Every story is unique. Behind each halachic question lies a human soul searching not only for an answer, but for understanding, reassurance, and hope.
That is what makes PUAH unique.
Each day presents new challenges and new opportunities to accompany people through some of the most vulnerable moments of their lives. We are privileged to stand beside them as they confront uncertainty, difficult decisions, and heartbreaking circumstances. And we are equally privileged to celebrate with them when hope is fulfilled.
Every month, thousands of individuals and couples turn to PUAH for guidance. Our mission is to provide clear halachic direction, the highest level of professional medical guidance, and unwavering emotional support. Above all, we strive to help people move forward with confidence, strengthen their faith, and, whenever possible, share in the extraordinary joy of welcoming healthy children into loving families.
Behind every halachic question is a family searching for hope>>>
Rabbi Gideon Weitzman, Head of the English Speaking Section, PUAH