I grew up, was educated, and now live and raise my kids among friends from my synagogue - religious, right-wing, and conservative.
Worldviews I share. At the same time, for 30 years I served as a combat soldier and fighter pilot alongside people often viewed as representing the liberal left. I count many of them as my closest friends. I understand, deeply and personally, what they’re going through.
Having truly lived both worlds, I’m constantly struck by the enormous gap between what each side thinks about the other and what’s actually true; the gap between fears, concerns and shared hopes.
Sadly, in recent years, extremists on both sides have said and done much to fuel the fires of those fears. The voice of the moderate majority, desperately searching for a way to live together through consensus and compromise, often gets drowned out by the shouting and divisive, viral rhetoric spewed from both camps.
My synagogue friends tell me:
“They’re against everything sacred and are trying to erase the Jewish character of the State of Israel. For 40 years we’ve been winning elections, but ‘they’ won’t let us govern. They control the courts and the bureaucracy, and through the ‘Deep State’ they force their values on us. They’ve turned equality into the supreme value that overrides all others and adopted extreme progressive ideas. At this rate, we won’t even be able to pray in gender-separated services, and the army will become completely mixed.
And with the Palestinians - who knows what they’re planning? How can anyone even imagine a Palestinian state right now? Why are they so eager to create a terror state in the heart of Israel? And those are the moderates, let’s not forget there are some who would prefer a binational state altogether!"
Meanwhile, my friends from the squadron say:
“They’re aiming for a halachic religious state where we won’t be able to live as liberal secular people. Look at all the religious indoctrination efforts and the school programs they’re forcing into our education system. For them, democracy just means majority rule with no checks and balances. They want total power for the government and Knesset. Equality doesn’t really matter to them, and minority rights are expendable. When it comes to Arabs, they’re dreaming about some fantasy ‘decisive victory’ plan that would turn Israel into an apartheid state, globally shunned and boycotted. Their blanket support for the ultra-Orthodox is turning Israel into a backward third-world country, where the security and economic burden falls on a shrinking segment of society."
Anyone who actually knows most of the synagogue crowd and most of the squadron guys knows that by and large these arguments are simply not true.
My synagogue friends are not looking for unlimited power for elected officials. Nevertheless, they do feel that unelected institutions have accumulated excessive authority - power without a clear legal basis - and that the balance between branches of government needs to be recalibrated. Equality absolutely matters to them, but they believe it has to be balanced with other values and norms that sometimes may take precedence.
We have no interest in coercing anyone, but we do have a view on what the public sphere in a Jewish state should look like (for example, it seems obvious to us that at public events there should also be spaces that allow for gender separation). My synagogue friends see a binational state as an existential threat. We know the Arabs in Judea and Samaria aren’t going anywhere. Still, history has taught us that every political entity they’ve established has turned into a dangerous terror base - so we have no intention of allowing a Palestinian state to be established between the river and the sea.
We see Jewish settlement throughout our historic homeland as both a religious and national value - values that must always be weighed alongside other constraints and considerations. Our natural partners are those who build and defend the country. We love our ultra-Orthodox brothers, but we believe that their interpretation of certain parts of the Torah is fundamentally mistaken. We think they should be integrated into Israel’s economy and security framework through positive incentives combined with effective sanctions.
My squadron friends would be shocked to hear that they’re accused of trying to impose their values. From their perspective, they’re fighting a defensive battle just to ensure their children and grandchildren can continue living as secular liberals in a country where they’re becoming a shrinking minority. In the absence of a constitution - and given demographic trends - they feel that the Supreme Court is the last institution that can still protect them, even as they’re aware of the judicial distortions that have developed over the years.
They understand that even Aharon Barak never imagined the court would one day intervene in Basic Laws, but they’re fighting to preserve some independent authority capable of defending them as a minority.
They feel deeply Jewish, and the Jewish identity of the state is very important to them - even if they sometimes see it differently.
As for the Palestinians, they recognize that Jewish settlement in Judea and Samaria is an existing reality that won’t disappear - and in some cases even serves important security interests, but also believe that settlement policy should allow for potential future Arab autonomy in the area.
So maybe the synagogue friends and the squadron friends can actually move forward together?
It turns out neither side wants to force its values on the other. In fact, everyone feels they’re fighting a defensive battle. Everyone understands that the system of checks and balances between the three branches of government isn’t working well and needs reform - and that such reform can be achieved through broad consensus. The Jewish character of the state matters to all of us. We all understand that a binational state would be a disaster. Settlement should follow the law, serve Israel’s security interests, and be shaped by practical constraints, not just religion or ideology.
But most importantly, we’ve learned that we share more than what divides us. We need to renew the alliance between those who build this country and those who defend it. We need to clear out the noise created by extremists and let the majority - who simply want to live together - lead the way.