For the last two years, the people of Israel have faced threats on every side. Even now, after a fragile peace, danger continues. We are still suffering the casualties of war. Fear grips the hearts of our brothers and sisters.
It is easy to talk about the problems. To preach. To wish for solutions. But words alone will not protect us. Discussion alone will not bring safety. Action is required. Each of us must take initiative. Start where we can. Do what we can.
The Torah teaches this lesson in Parashas Vayishlach. That night, Yaakov Avinu wrestled with the angel, malach. How do we remember it? Not with a positive mitzvah, but with a prohibition - the gid hanasheh.
Rav Moshe Feinstein explains: courage and endurance in a test, a nisayon, are great. But the highest level is to avoid nisyonot altogether. Every morning we say: “שלא נבוא לידי ניסיון” - “May we not come into temptation or struggle.” A positive mitzvah might imply that struggle is something we should seek. But a negative mitzvah teaches the opposite. The ideal life is arranged to avoid unnecessary tests.
Yaakov faced the malach with courage. But the gid hanasheh reminds us that the highest path is wisdom - living in a way that avoids nisyonot.
This principle applies nationally as well. When the Jewish people face conflict, the Torah commands:
“כִּי תִקְרַב אֶל עִיר… וְקָרָאתָ אֵלֶיהָ לְשָׁלוֹם” - “When you approach a city for battle, first call out to it for peace” (Devarim 20:10).
The Rambam codifies:
“אין עושין מלחמה… עד שקוראין לו לשלום” - “We do not wage war until we first offer peace” (Hilchot Melachim 6:1).
Before engaging in battle, the Torah commands us to take the first step toward peace - to reach out, to propose terms, to try to avoid conflict. Even if our enemies reject peace, the initiative is our responsibility. We do not glorify conflict. We do not seek war. We seek understanding and reconciliation.
Dovid HaMelech emphasizes: “בקש שלום ורדפהו” - “Seek peace and pursue it” (Tehillim 34:15).
Yeshayahu envisions a world where swords become plowshares (Yeshayahu 2:4).
War is never the ideal. Only when peace fails do we confront the tragic necessity of battle.
Unity - Yaakov’s Tefillah and the Power of Sand
In these times of no peace and no war - an uneasy middle state - we must strengthen peace among ourselves. Yaakov teaches this directly in his prayer before meeting Esav.
The Torah gives three metaphors for the Avot:
- Avraham - “כוכבי השמים” - stars of the heavens (Bereishis 15:5)
- Yitzchak - “כחול אשר על שפת הים” - sand on the seashore (Bereishis 22:17)
- Yaakov - “כעפר הארץ” - the dust of the earth (Bereishis 28:14)
Yet Yaakov himself, when pleading to Hashem for protection before confronting Esav, uses Yitzchak’s metaphor:
“וְשַׂמְתִּי אֶת־זַרְעֲךָ כְּחוֹל הַיָּם” (Bereishis 32:13).
Why “sand”?
A single grain of sand accomplishes nothing.
But when grains of sand adhere together, they form a barrier strong enough to stop the powerful waves of the sea.
Yaakov was saying to Hashem:
“Our only hope against Esav is unity - kechol hayam. If we stand together, we endure. If not, we scatter like individual grains.”
And this is precisely the meaning of Shalom B’neichem.
In Parashas Bechukotai, the Torah promises:
“ונתתי שלום בארץ ושכבתם ואין מחריד” (Vayikra 26:6).
R.Ibn Ezra explains: It already said “וישבתם לבטח” - you will dwell securely. Why say “peace” again?
R.Ibn Ezra answers:
“שלום פנימי - שלום ביניכם.”
Peace among yourselves.Only then can ושכבתם ואין מחריד be promussed
Even in times of external threat, the promise of safety is only complete when we are at peace with one another.
Unity is not a luxury - it is a condition for survival.
Personal Responsibility - Changing Ourselves First
This principle applies personally as well. One Rebbe said, with remarkable clarity:
“I tried to change the world - I couldn’t.
I tried to change my community - I couldn’t.
I tried to change my family - still no.
Then I realized: if I want to make a real difference, I must first change myself.”
We know the problems. We can preach. We can wish for solutions. But none of that brings change.
True transformation begins when each person takes initiative - to speak more gently, to act with more care, to take one small step that is within his power.
We can talk. We can analyze. We can lecture.
But it is the doing that matters.
Each of us taking responsibility. Each of us acting.
Just as the gid hanasheh reminds us of Yaakov’s struggle and teaches the importance of avoiding unnecessary nisyonot, so too, through personal responsibility, initiative, and acting proactively within our own abilities, we can prevent problems and bring about real change - in our families, in our communities, and in Klal Yisrael as a whole.