In Parashat Toldot, we meet Yaakov, the “Ish Tam,” a man unaccustomed to dramatic moves. Rivka asks her son to approach his father Yitzchak-who has difficulty seeing-as his older brother Esav, in order to receive the first blessing. When the moment comes, Yaakov confides in his mother:
"Perhaps my father will touch me, and I will appear deceitful in his eyes, and I will bring a curse upon myself rather than a blessing." (Bereishit 27:12)
But Rivka pushes him. She prepares Yitzchak’s favorite foods and instructs him to take them to his father so that he may receive the blessing. Yaakov goes. He does his part-and with Siyata Dishmaya, G d’s help, Hashem opens the doors for him. He receives the blessing and continues the path of Avraham and Yitzchak. The lesson is clear: our hishtadlut, combined with encouragement and guidance from the right people, brings results.
The same message appears at the birth of Yaakov and Esav. The Torah tells us:
"And the first came out red, all of him like a hairy garment; so they named him Esav. Afterward, his brother came out, and his hand was holding Esav’s heel; so he was named Yaakov…"(Bereishit 25:25-26)
Esav’s head coming out first makes him the firstborn, and Yaakov’s holding his heel does not change the halakhic status of the birthright. But the educational message is clear: even when the chances of success seem slim, a person must make an effort, do his part, and leave the rest in Hashem’s hands. In the end, Yaakov’s hishtadlut bore fruit-he did achieve the birthright over Esav.
The same principle appears in a modern story. During President Harry Truman’s presidency, his weekly address to the nation was moved from Tuesday to Friday. This created a difficulty for Shabbat-observant Jews, who could not listen because Shabbat had begun.
Yehudit Berl, a Jewish woman from the United States, saw this as a problem. She could have thought, “I am just one woman against the President-what difference will my letter make?” But she did not give up. She wrote a respectful letter, explaining that as a Shabbat-observant Jew she was prevented from listening on Friday, and requested that the address be rescheduled.
After some time, the White House responded that her letter had been received and her concerns noted, and shortly thereafter, the weekly address returned to Tuesday. Years later, when she passed away, her children found the letter and the reply-thus preserving the memory of the great hishtadlut of one person, which had influenced reality.
Even in the world of shidduchim, hishtadlut is essential. Chazal say: “Forty days before a child is created, a Bat Kol goes out and announces: ‘So-and-so for so-and-so.’” One might think, “It’s already decided who marries whom-why make an effort?” But Torah teaches otherwise: we must act, investigate, and strive-and Hashem completes the rest.
In summary:
-Do not give up.
-Do not say, “This is too much for me.”
-Do your part-and leave the rest in Hashem’s hands.
The one who perseveres achieves, and the one who gives up does not. A winner never quits, and a quitter never wins.
Sometimes, we must even dream the impossible dream. But together with effort-hishtadlut-and with Siyata Dishmaya, G d’s help, our efforts open doors, change reality, and bring success.
Like Yaakov, like Rivka guiding and supporting, like Yehudit Berl, and like anyone who makes real hishtadlut in shidduchim and in life-our efforts, with Hashem’s help, make the difference.
Rabbi Eliezer Simcha Weisz is a member of the Israeli Chief Rabbinate Rabbinical Council.