On the 24th day of Teves (January 17) we celebrated the yahrzeit of the Alter Rebbe, the first Lubavitcher Rebbe. His name is Rabbi Shneur Zalman. He passed away in 1812, after the war between Russia and France.
The Holy Rebbe was the hassidic leader of hundreds of thousands of Jewish people, and the creator of the Lubavitch-Chabad movement. hassidim worldwide celebrate his yahrzeit.
Ten years ago on that same day of the month, my father of blessed memory passed away. He was a very warm - varmer - Chassid of the Lubavitch movement started by the Alter Rebbe, continued by our Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the seventh Rebbe in the line of the Alter Rebbe. My father's yahrzeit is an auspicious day for my family.
On the other side of the coin, on the very same day, I personally celebrated my wife's - Dr. Dalia's - birthday and our wedding anniversary. We are starting our seventeenth year, which is the year of Tov, meaning good. In Hebrew seventeen is the numerical value of Tov.
Sadly, during that month, my mother passed away and my son Shea. So the month is compounded with happy occasions and sad occasions.
I was wondering whether I should make a Kaddish-Kiddush or a Kiddush-Kaddish. One is an exciting Kiddush and one is a sad Kaddish. The question is, what am I supposed to do - celebrate the Kaddish or the Kiddush?
The Kaddish sanctifies the souls of the people who passed on, and the Kiddush celebrates the living, happy occasions.
As we know, the soul never dies. It's only the body that passes away when the body fulfills its mission, while the soul continues on its journey, doing the will of G-d.
That leads me to believe that it's possible to have a Kiddush for the living and a Kaddish for the deceased, celebrating the cycle of life, on the same Shabbos.
I remember asking my father of blessed memory a question regarding Tzedakah, Charity. Is it better to give money while you're alive or leave money in a will? Some people say, "I will give ten percent of my estate after I die," while others give while they're alive.
My father's answer was, it's better to give with a warm hand, meaning, it's better to do mitzvahs while you're alive.
Yes indeed, it's better to give Charity with a warm hand, extending a warm smile to your friend, expressing a warm heart, and giving a hand to those in need.