Love letters I get from Democrats
Love letters I get from Democrats

Schiff’s Really Big Show did them no good, and their debate was another flop, but they still want money, and is it just me they find so precious? 

Just wondering how many others out there keep getting those solicitations from 2020 Dem hopefuls, mainly Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris, to name three.

Personalized, too – as if we’ve been pals for years. So they begin – “Hey, Jack, we need more help from you to reach our $20 million goal for the month.”

MORE help from me? 

I’ll see what I can do. No big deal. I’ll reach into my vault, and maybe I can come up with the $20 million in one swoop.

If I was a rich man…and if I was a Democrat. I am as rich as Tevye of “Fiddler on the Roof.”

Frankly, by the way, there must have been a time when I was a Democrat. That would have been long ago, before it became the Party of Linda Sarsour and her brew. 

Or even before that, when I learned that FDR turned his back on the rabbis who tried to persuade him to drop the quota that restricted Jews escaping the Holocaust.

“Hey, Jack,” writes Tom Perez, the man who runs the Impeachment Party, “we’re falling behind the Democrat Unity Fund. We need your help.”

Both Obama and Stacey Abrams write: “JACK, we can’t do it without you.”
Both Obama and Stacey Abrams write: “JACK, we can’t do it without you.”

Yes, “give generously” so that Bernie Sanders can continue sweet-talking for communism and bad-mouthing against Israel.

How…I need to ask…did my name end up on their donor list? Obviously, they do not read my columns, nor by books, like this one.   

Apparently, they spread a wide net hoping, helter skelter, to catch any fish they could hook. Sorry, wrong address.

Or am I the only one getting these Send Money Love Letters, and should I feel flattered? 

Yes, maybe it’s just me, and sometimes I feel paranoid enough, or conceited enough, to believe that it’s all about me, for being so unique and so special.

I imagine someone at their focus groups saying, “Look, if we can get Jack Engelhard on our side, we won’t need anybody else.”

This much is certain; they worry about me even more than members of my own family. “Jack,” they write, “we haven’t heard back from you. We need you to respond.”

Such attention I get from nobody else.

“Hey, Jack, for only a small donation, how would you like to meet Elizabeth Warren in person?”

Actually, I am having root canal done, and since listening to Elizabeth Warren is about the same thing, at least at the dentist they give you Novocain to dull the pain. 

I choose root canal.

Money…money…money. So…and this just came… Joe Biden says he needs $400,000 to make ends meet at the moment. Hurry.

I’ll see what I can do. I am already in the hole $20 million for the other two. What I will do, then, is get the $400,000 from the kids’ college fund. Pronto.

Truly now…why me, Joe? Your son has got all the money in the world from what you both cooked up in Ukraine and China. Ask HIM to donate.

Better yet, donate your own money, from the millions you earned, despite never working a real job.

But what does the actual leader in the polls, Pete Buttigieg, have against me? I get no donor requests from him. Nothing. Zero.  

I feel so terribly neglected, and hurt.  

New York-based bestselling American novelist Jack Engelhard writes regularly for Arutz Sheva.

He wrote the worldwide book-to-movie bestseller “Indecent Proposal,” followed by his coming-of-age classic, “The Girls of Cincinnati,” for which contemporaries have hailed him “The last Hemingway, a writer without peer, and the conscience of us all.” Website: www.jackengelhard.com