Here is what Israel can do to make the Global March, if it takes place, a positive experience for participants. Tourism Ministry, take note!  

Nos. 1-3:  Things to do for participants::

(1)   Build outdoor malls at border checkpoints. Also free IKEA buses and halal hotdogs.

(2)   Arrange one-way tours of Jordan and other Arab countries with job placement.

(3)   Offer opportunities to fire rockets from Israel into Gaza

Nos. 4-7: Making their lives easier:

(4)   Set up a real-estate bazaar and mortgage center offering alternative properties in the region; Jews (preference for Gush Katif refugees) would be allowed to rebuild their homes in the Gaza Strip and vote in elections; Arabs (preference for Hamas leaders) build villas along the Sinai coast.

(5)   Offer extended study-tours to Arab countries and Russia to learn about the history of the Palestinian people (PhD included); residency visa added. Abbas can give student guidance.7

(6)   Issue credit cards; items purchased will be deducted from revenues collected by Israel for the PA/Hamas and funds transferred by Israeli to Palestinian banks

(7)   Issue temporary visas and work permits to all European and Muslim countries

Nos. 8-9: Leisure activities:

(8)   Exchange burkas for latest Paris fashions; guns and bombs exchanged for money (Euros and Jordanian dinars only); free beard-removal with every transaction. Hair styling with Suha Arafat or Mrs. Assad.

(9)   Offer disco-dancing with Israeli freichot and arsim (optional nose and belly-button rings). Free Slim Fast diet drinks courtesy of S. Danny Abraham. 

Nos.10-11: That'll teach 'em:

(10)  Make appointment at Jewish Agency to check for possible Jewish ancestry and chance to make aliyah

(11)  Hold interfaith foot-washing ceremony led by Rabbis for Human Rights

(12) Have Hillary Clinton pants suit designed burkas – on sale

(13) Since the demo will be on Friday, Eida Hahareidit should insure no desecration of Shabbat occurs by operating parking lots; also, gender separate portable toilets

Nos. 14-17: Special attractions, space limited:

(14) Tours led by MK Zoabi to mock Jewish cemeteries where participants can destroy gravestones, and mock forests to burn trees.

(15) Rock-throwing contests, first prize a free education in Israeli prisons

(16) Stab-a-soldier booths with life-size IDF figures

(17) Special lectures by Amos Oz and Zev Sternhell: Masada in Palestinian history,  the Palestinian origins of Tel Aviv (hosted at TAU),

18-20 Promote soicial awareness and interfaith tolerance:

(18)  Organize contributions for a Yad VeShem for the Palestinian Nakba

(19)  HaveTony Kushner hold auditions for his new play: Jewless in Judea

(20)  Since this a week before Pesach, sell them our hametz