As a young bride and a new mother I was informed by representatives of the IDF who came to our house that Ami, my husband, and the father of our month-old daughter was missing in action in the southern front in the 1973 Yom Kippur War. He was in the commanders' vehicle behind Ariel Sharon in the paratroopers, and was in the spearhead of the forces leading the battle on the southern front.
The announcement by the officers who came to tell me that Ami was MIA came to me a week and a half before what was to be our first anniversary, and it was left to me to tell Amis' parents that their son was MIA. Ami's one
I dedicate this to all of our loved ones who did not return home.
brother was fighting on the Golan in the Yom Kippur War, and Amis' mother is a survivor of the Bergen Belson Concentration Camp.
After many, many long months of agony and prayers during which I held our infantdaughter in my arms and kept telling both her and myself that she will see her Abba, that her Daddy will return, we had a miracle and Ami did return to us.
This endless time of sleepless nights and prayers for the safe return of my beloved husband culminated in a miracle and Ami came home to us. So many of our loved ones did not come home from this war and from the many battles that came after the Yom Kippur War.
I kept a book in which I wrote down my thoughts during and after the many long tortuous months of waiting to hear about Ami, I also wrote this poem. This is the first time that I have ever publicized these lines, words that I wrote in the middle of the nightmare of the war, after being told that Ami was MIA. This frightening, empty period will never leave me and constantly in my thoughts and prayers are our MIA's and their families. I know exactly what each of these families is going through and the endless torment of worry for their loved ones.
I dedicate this to all of our loved ones who did not return home, to all of our families who were murdered by blind hatred because they were Jews.
Do I recall?
Do I recall?
So do we all
The stark realities of the last war.
1.
Uncertainty as eyes scan sky/ Planes' deafening sounds
As we stand on ground/ Quick flashes up high.
Quiet struggle within all/ Maintain routine – swallow fear
The neighbors voices in the hall/ Hush baby dear – Mommy's here
Hours droll past our watchful ears / Life upholds daily route
Hold back the desire to shout/ Lumpy feeling, hold back the tears.
2.
Now we know as darkness fell/ Returning footsteps, hurry pack
Fears growing where we dwell/ "Not so much I'll soon be back!"
Longest walk – shortest path/ Closer hold me – time is dear
Must leave quickly- goodbye is near/ Words seem to leave us both.
Laying with babe at breast/ Two fleeting minutes of happiness
Stolen seconds – precious one/ Kiss me darling- time is done.
3.
Days - nights – time is still/ A work – a scrap of paper
Messenger come quick – I will/ Communications- all together
"I'm okay- I miss you so"
"How our babys' begun to grow"
"Have you heard of him – or him?"
"Darling I'm with you – deep within."
Days – hours of waiting endless/ Sleepless – hungerless –
No word today – perhaps tomorrow/ I send prayers - letter will follow.
Where are you my love?/ As I sit at home?
Each with people/ And each so alone.
4.
"is it really you I see?"/ Few stolen hours together
We held on to one another/ "No – our time fled too quickly."
"He's gone – we're sure"/ "It can't be true!"
"If you hear – let us know."/ "Oh baby where did Daddy go?"
Searching, praying for a way/ Helpful friends who care too
Maybe we can find a way/ To know what happened to you
"You're here – it's you!"/ "Can it be - hold me then"
Prayers answered – yes it's true/ "Don't ever leave me again!"
Time together too too short/ "My how baby dear has grown"
"She misses her Daddy – we are alone"
Off again he must go – a war is being fought
5.
Fire! Cease! Fire again/ Too many precious lives end
Shuttle – faster – can't you see?/ You're writing pages of history.
Sign it – don't – we must/ If aid we need there must be trust
Will it end finally?/ But is it right? Will we be free?
He'll return so they say/ Don't know what date –
They'll return – never too late-/ Please let it be to stay.
I can't believe that it will end/ That we can live in peace
Without the bitter taste of war /To never more him have to send.
6.
Dear G-d let it finally end./No more sirens split the night
No more blackouts dim our sight
We are together us three/ And many other families.
Yet there are those /Who sleep in rows
Under shade of stone so white/ Never again to see the light
Please our Maker – let it come to pass
That these will be the very last!