Noam and Dorit Sherman are a religious Israeli couple, who joined a Garin Torani (organized group of idealistic, young religious couples who move to development towns and work in education and welfare) in Lod nine years ago.
Noam, 36 years old, works as financial director of a girl’s school. Dorit, 31, coordinates the work of 50 National Service girls in Lod. What’s unusual about this very normal couple is that for twelve long years they were childless.
"In religious circles, if you’ve been married a year and don’t yet have a child, people start asking you intimate questions,” says Dorit. “They mean well but it got to the point where we didn’t like to go out in public. People would say hello, how are you and look at my stomach.” “Our society is a very child-oriented one,” adds Noam. “We were inundated
The doctors told them they had little chance of success and should examine adoption. 
with ‘good advice.’"
Dorit comes from a family of four siblings and Noam has 8 brothers and sisters. All their married siblings have children. After two years the couple began investigating infertility treatment at various clinics Not everyone knows that IF treatment is wearing both physically and emotionally, and as the couple found out, not very encouraging. After several failed attempts the doctors told them they had little chance of success and should examine adoption.
“The treatments and the negative medical opinions we kept getting were a real test for our marriage,” says Noam. “We got to know each other in depth. We had long conversations while coping with this challenge, and maybe that’s the only good thing that came out of our experience with infertility treatments.”
“We also used the time to develop ourselves,” adds Dorit. “We traveled, we studied and made an effort to enjoy life—even though we faced disappointment after disappointment. We took an example from people who coped with more difficult situations, such as the families of terror victims. We saw how they were able to lift up their heads after losing a loved one and how they didn’t allow themselves to despair.”
The Shermans weighed adopting. They met couples who had adopted and their fertility doctor praised them and said, “At last you’re doing something intelligent!” They signed up 
They were encouraged by the Puah Institute, an organization that advises couples with infertility problems. 
with the adoption authorities but continued with the IF treatment, praying for a breakthrough. They were encouraged by the Puah Institute, an organization in Jerusalem established more than 20 years ago by Rabbi Menachem Bornstein to advise couples, both religious and non-observant, on infertility problems.
The Shermans cannot praise Puah enough, and especially their private consultant Rabbi Eliezer Alzshuler, who is the rabbi of Sussia. “He kept us going,” admits Noam, “ when we were about to give up. “At Puah they take a broad view of the situation-- not like the specialists we came to know through the treatments.”
Noam notes that some people are reluctant to turn to Puah because it’s staffed by rabbis rather than physicians, but this bastion of support and information on gynecological matters, pregnancy, birth and family purity laws, has veteran workers who over the years have acquired skills and information that are universally acknowledged and universally consulted.
Due to the vast experience of Puah and the thousands of cases they’ve helped, their staff are able to refer each couple to the best specialists in every field. They also caution couples like the Shermans, who faced negative reports continuously, that doctors do not always know everything and there’s always hope. “For the Puah organization every single child brought into the world is an achievement,” declares Noam.
Dorit chimes in: “The doctors that Puah recommended also gave us special attention. They understood that if we’re satisfied, then Puah will send other patients to them as well.” Then she adds, “At Puah they made us feel like an only child. We weren’t just a ‘case’ to them.”
The Shermans underwent five IF treatments and each time there was strong anticipation that they would succeed. Five times they faced bitter disappointments that only couples who have been through this vale of tears can understand.
Each time the couple requested that three fertilized eggs be implanted in Dorit’s uterus, despite the fact that multiple fetuses increase danger, both for the mother and for the children. “I thought to myself, even if I have to spend months in a High Risk ward I don’t mind. Mothers who have only one fetus sometimes spend that period lying in—nobody promises you anything.”
The Shermans requested another IF treatment, although officially only two and sometimes three are financed by the medical clinics. “It’s highly unusual to have so many attempts, but we really pushed, and Dorit was due to undergo her sixth attempt immediately after Succoth in 2002,” Noam explains. Then something completely unexpected happened, something not in keeping with Noam and Dorit’s lifestyle.
“An acquaintance approached me right before the High Holidays to join a small group of Hassidim who travel to the grave of Elimelech of Lijansk to pray and petition there every year, a tradition that goes back more than 300 years.
Rabbi Elimelech was a third generation Hassidic leader whose work on Hassidism, “Noam Elimelech”, appeared in l787 (the year of his death). Up until the Holocaust thousands of Jews would journey to his grave before the High Holidays. The old Jewish cemetery was destroyed by the Nazis and is now a park. Only the grave of Rabbi Elimelech remains.
“At first I said no. What did I have to do with an l8th century Hassidic leader’s grave,” said Noam. “Besides, we were about to try our last IF chance.” However when his acquaintance begged him to come because they had only nine men going that year and needed him to complete a quorum, he agreed. It was a powerful, spiritually uplifting experience. Noam prayed as he’d never prayed in his life, and returned to Israel sure that his prayers would be answered.
As in many a Hassidic tale, Dorit became pregnant. The sixth infertility treatment succeeded. “You can’t imagine our joy when we realized that we were going to become
What did I have to do with an l8th century Hassidic leader’s grave,” said Noam.
parents to triplets”, says Noam. The doctors suggested “harvesting” one or two of the fetuses, a standard procedure in multiple pregnancies, especially in such a “precious” one. After consulting with Rabbi Altshuler the Shermans decided against this procedure.
The pregnancy was difficult. Dorit felt constant fatigue, nausea and dizziness. From the 27th week she was hospitalized and in bed, but since every day that the babies stayed in the womb meant one day less in the intensive premature ward, she stayed put and retained them until the 36th week. On the 24th Sivan, 2003 the three babies were born by Caesarian section: Choshen Eliyahu (a boy), Argaman and Hallel (girls). Despite their small size (l.4 kg, l.8 kg and 2.7 kg) they were healthy and remained in the preemie ward a short time.
For a while Dorit stayed with her parents. “I got quite spoiled there; everyone fought over the privilege of caring for them”. Eventually the couple brought their triplets home and began the serious business of raising three lovely but demanding babies. Parents of triplets are entitled to get hours of paid help for six months, but the Shermans managed with friends and family. That fall, Noam once again flew to Europe to visit the grave of Elimelech of Lijansk, this time to give thanks.
Time went by quickly now in the busy Sherman household. Friends sometimes joked with the couple and asked them, “When is Noam going back to Reb Elimelech?” He never did, but he says, “I feel that Rabbi Elimelech is with us all the time.”
Once the triplets were four years old, Dorit and her husband decided to try to have another child. Their parents protested, “Why not leave well enough alone. Don’t you remember how unpleasant the treatments were?” Others said, “The chances are so meager; everyone knows that the first pregnancy was a miracle.” Nevertheless, the Shermans persevered and once again consulted Rabbi Alzshuler. Dorit explains: “When you have a good thing, you not only want to hold on to it, you want to increase it.”
Chosen Eliyahu, Argaman and Hallel also contributed to their decision. They saw their friends with siblings and wanted a baby in the house. This time, however, the family had to pay for the treatment, which was no longer covered by their medical insurance.
Once again the couple opted for the more risky option of having three implants to increase the possibility for success. This time Dorit became pregnant immediately, and once again the ultra-sound showed three fetuses. With Puah’s backing, they turned down the strong medical recommendation to reduce the number of fetuses. "This is a gift from G-d", said Noam. During the latter stage of pregnancy Dorit was hospitalized again and gave birth via Caesarian. This time two boys and a girl were born: Malchut, Elroi and Nigun on the 3rd of Kislev 2008.
Today, as in their first experience, the couple is busy all day long feeding, changing, bathing and burping. They also have to cope with a very real financial burden. “We go through a tin of Materna a day,” says Dorit. We use a package of pampers every two days. The cost of equipment, medicine and clothing for the children make triplets an expensive undertaking—but we’re not complaining.” Nevertheless the couple is happy to receive baby clothes and baby furniture in good condition when it comes their way.
The Shermans seem amazingly calm and friendly. “You have to be very organized,” Noam explains and indeed their home is in tip top order. “We take life as it comes,” says Dorit “and we’re very aware of our good fortune.” Whether this helps them from feeling overwhelmed or they have learned from experience how to bring up triplets, the fact remains that there is no atmosphere of stress or pressure in their home.
“Our friends fear we’re not sleeping enough,” says Noam with a smile. “I don’t waste time thinking what would it be like if we only had single births rather than triplets each time. We do try to give quality time to each one of the older children without taking away from the care of the babies. Don’t forget that when there are triplets they support each other a lot.”
And what about their marriage—the long conversations they used to have when they were childless. “Well, we did undertake these pregnancies together you know,” they answer laughing. “You can still talk a lot during three A.M. feedings.”