My family and I came to Israel in July 1994. We found a beautiful bucolic settlement in the lower Galilee called Mitzpeh Netofa. Moving to this settlement allowed us to fulfill two of my life's dreams. The first was to move out to

If we did not get air-conditoning, his life was in grave danger.

a quiet pastoral area, yet with access to a kosher butcher. The second was to become a redneck, so we moved into a caravan, a.k.a. a trailer.

What is the definition of a "caravan"? It is a 60-square meter - about the size of a large bus - tin box with one bathroom. We took our four boys and moved in. The adventure begins - the seasons in a caravan.

Summer

I walked into this caravan and thought, "Mazel tov, dream two accomplished." I took a breath and we settled in.

You haven't experienced summer until you spend it in a caravan without an air conditioner.

Voice over of Rod Serling saying: "An easy bake oven; move into it; turn on the light...."

That's a caravan in the summer; you even come out of it fully baked. I looked at my husband adoringly and informed him that if we did not get air-conditoning, his life was in grave danger. Plus, he would suffer greatly before the end; it would not be fast.

We got it that fall.

Autumn

Fall lasts three days in Israel. It is one of those rare moments when everything is perfect. It is also the time for the Jewish holidays, which are approximately a month long. No, it's not straight through - you get a few days in between each holiday to cook and clean.

Succos, which is the last holiday of the season, is seven days long, eight if you live outside of Israel. This is incentive to make Aliyah (move to Israel) - one less day to cook for. Succos is a harvest holiday when we build succahs or "booths" and "live" for the week in a tent with a leaky roof. They make the caravan look like Beverly Hills.

Immediately after Succos is when we start to pray for rain. We Jews pray for rain three times a day, because water is scarce. Remember the saying, "Be careful what you ask for"?

Rain is good, but I didn't realize that we should specify the location. The rains began, yeah. It rained in the valleys, in the cities, on the mountains, and inside my bedroom, living room and kitchen. If Noah's ark leaked this much, we all would have been sunk. There is nothing more romantic than waking up to the soothing sound of raindrops falling, unless it's in your bedroom. We were lucky it missed the bed.

To solve the problem of the internal monsoon raining down on our heads, we had to discover the cause. This turned out to be clogged gutters. Apparently, we discovered, clogged gutters equals monsoon inside.

My husband, the "professional plumber", and sons decided to perform a stunt worthy of the Flying Wallendas to solve the problem. This kind of behavior, where all normal forms of reason and logic disappear, is what I call the Y-Chromosome Defect. They climbed up on the roof sans ladder - "Ladders are for amateurs" - and found all sorts of interesting (disgusting) objects. After disposing of said objects at the nearest toxic waste dump, we were ready for winter.

Winter

The storms around here sometimes resemble Voldemort with PMS. There are bolts of lightning that blow out minor things, such as electric transformers. These disasters usually happen on Friday just before our Sabbath. Therefore, finding someone to fix it is like calling a plumber on Super Bowl Sunday.

I admit it is not as cold here as in Philadelphia, but in Philly you have central heating. The only time you have central heating here is in the summer and it's solar.

Added to the fun of the storms with thunder so loud that it shakes the caravan and hail that clogs the gutters, we have blackouts and frequent water stoppages. This translates as water coming out of the roof, but not from the faucets .

Now, it doesn't have to be raining for the electricity to suddenly decide to go off. Honestly, I haven't figured out what causes these blackouts. Except that it must go off at the most inconvenient time possible. I think there is a conspiracy theory applicable here.

Spring

Spring is also three days long. The weather is perfect and the scenery, idyllic. This is the time of year for my favorite holiday, Passover. Passover is the celebration of our freedom from slavery in Egypt and our coming back to Israel after 400 years of exile.

How do we celebrate this great event? Parties, like the fourth of July? Dancing in the street? No. We clean.

Spring is also three days long.

That's right, folks. You see, Passover has some very specific laws. We can't eat food with leavening, like bread. We can't eat off the same plates that we used all year round. Yep, we switch everything - dishes, pots, silverware, children. We switch with a family that has four girls for the week.

Just kidding, we keep the kids. We just clean them.

Spring is the time of year that everything starts to bloom. The grass, trees, flowers all open their loving arms and bring forth their sweet aromatic pollen into the atmosphere. This prolific act of nature leaves my family with tears streaming down their faces and gasping for air. Obviously, the very act of breathing can be a bit self-defeating, since the air is scented with a lethal dose of allergens.

Needless to say, spring is our favorite time of year.