For those who don't know, Fifty First Dates is a comedy film undistinguished except by its brilliant premise. It describes the dilemma of a man in love with a woman who has short-term memory loss. Each day she forgets she has ever met him and he must start the relationship all over again from the beginning. No matter how kind, funny or romantic he is, it doesn't really matter. Like Sisyphus in the legend, he has to roll the boulder up the mountain

We are supposed to believe that success is just around the corner.

from the bottom and never - at least until the Hollywood-style happy ending - gets to the top.

Actually, I don't know if he succeeds, since I lost interest before the end. Even if I knew, why should I ruin the film for you?

But I realized that this situation is a great parallel for the Middle East. People constantly urge negotiating with Syria or with Iran, as if this has never happened before, or it just wasn't done right, or not enough concessions were offered. We are supposed to believe that success is just around the corner and, as people say before they gamble away their life savings: What can you lose by trying? But what about all the other times this has been tried and failed? Are these simply forgotten by people with systematic memory loss?

How about the numerous visits of US secretaries of state to Syria which failed to get Damascus to stop cooperating with Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein (before 2003) or stop helping terrorists murder American soldiers and Iraqis in Iraq (after 2003), or close the offices of terrorist groups in Damascus, or make peace with Israel?

What about the ten-year (ten years!) effort in the 1990s, pursued mainly by President Bill Clinton, a Democrat (yeah!) not an "evil Republican," to bring Syria into the peace process, and to make peace between the Palestinians and Israel?

Remember how the Syrians made a fool out of Secretary of State Colin Powell, who assured American journalists that Syria had already closed the terrorist offices in Damascus on one occasion and had already closed the oil pipeline to Iraq on another, only to realize he had been conned?

I have actually heard Powell speak recently about what a success his diplomacy was. As if that weren't enough, I also heard former Secretary of State James Baker in a radio interview speak of his attempt to get the terrorist offices closed as a success, even though they are still open 18 years later!

How about the bait and switch tricks President Bashar al-Asad pulled on French President Nicolas Sarkozy regarding negotiations over Lebanon?

Sarkozy sent high-ranking officials to Syria without preconditions; had officials falsely deny Syrian involvement in a 1983 terror attack against French peacekeeping soldiers in Lebanon; asked Bashar to mediate with Iran; dropped demands that Syria normalize relations with Lebanon; begged - rather than demanded - that Asad show some sign of respecting human rights; and pushed forward a highly profitable EU association agreement with Syria - despite that country's failing to meet earlier demands for reform.

On every point, Bashar let Sarkozy down, yet this did not lead to a learning of lessons. Indeed, Sarkozy had

Systematic memory loss is the only explanation.

forgotten what experience had taught his predecessor Jacques Chirac by 2006, that "the regime of Bashar seems incompatible with security and peace." It's bad enough not to go forward, even worse to go backward.

And then there are those gullible American members of Congress, notably Senator Arlen Specter, who said Bashar promised them to free political prisoners, only to discover he had arrested even more.

Regarding Iran, the situation is even worse. For about five years, European states - led by Britain, France and Germany - have negotiated with Iran over the nuclear weapon program only to find Tehran: lied to them; broke commitments; ignored deadlines.

Obviously, systematic memory loss is the only explanation.

I, however, have a solution. Every politician who wants to negotiate with Iran and Syria (or the Palestinian Authority, Hamas, Hizbullah, or Muslim Brotherhoods for that matter) must sign the following pledge:

I, ___________________ (name), prime minister / president / foreign minister / secretary of state / member of parliament / congressperson of ____________ (country) hereby solemnly pledge that if I bargain with ____________ (country) / __________ (terrorist group) and it treats me like dirt / lies to me / breaks commitments / ignores deadlines / murders my friends or allies / all of the above, if I try and fail in negotiations, and especially if I make concessions in exchange for promises not fulfilled, then I will: learn my lesson, understand that these forces are extremist enemies, honestly inform my people of this fact, and treat the said regime or terrorist group accordingly in future.

If I do not do so, then let my popularity fall below zero, my campaign treasury be empty, my secret diary fall into the hostile media's hands.

Sincerely,

(Title and name)