The Aseret Yemei Teshuvah (Ten Days of Teshuvah) are upon us. In the event that the holiness and solemnity of the holidays surrounding these days are not enough, our sages actually stamped these days as days of teshuvah. Teshuvah is the imperative of the day; and so, the question arises: What is teshuvah?


The word itself is a beautiful one. With its root in lashuv, "to return," it connotes much

But the return home, where is that? Where are we returning to?

more than an end of year score-keeping of good and bad deeds. It is a returning. The soul, having lost its way in the confusion of the forest of our life, finds its way back home. It returns.


The analogy is nice, but the message more difficult to discern. A lost soul we understand. The confusion, complexity, uncertainty, and sheer business of life often pulls us off track leaving us bitterly short of the ideal image we have of ourselves. But the return home, where is that? Where are we returning to?


Parshat Nitzavim is always read on the Shabbos before Rosh HaShanah because one of its main themes is Teshuvah. And there, we find a most amazing concept. The very first step in Teshuvah, before we hear any mention of G-d, is the return to our own heart, "vehashevota el levavecha." Only once we return to our ourselves can we move on to the next step of returning to G-d.


There are many ways of understanding this concept, but here is how it touches me personally.


Man is a creature of habit that spurns change. We are most comfortable with that which we know, understand and see as predictable. This permeates every aspect of our lives and takes tremendous effort to overcome. If we are to be truthful to ourselves, then we will see that it even affects our relationship with our G-d. The question that makes its appearance in the consciousness of all those who are searching for truth is: Why am I doing this? Is it because it is the path of least resistance, or is it my choice, my purposeful decision that has brought me to the worship of G-d?


Pull back the layers of motivation: family, friends, congregation and community, comfort, sense of identity and belonging, fear of punishment, desire for reward. Peel them all away and try to discern what remains. The seed, the root, the source of it all. The core of our lifestyle. The reason we are here. For some of us, it may be the first time we are

Man is a creature of habit that spurns change.

looking at it, and so there might not be much to look at. For others, this may be a place we come often, looking around, exploring, periodically finding something new.


Vehashevota el levavecha, return to your heart. Return to your heart and the heart of it all. Explore why you are here.


For man to serve G-d, there is a choice, a powerful choice. And all of us must make a decision. If we have never consciously made the decision, then we have much work to do and we must return to the essence, see the choice, and make our decision. The choice is as follows:


Man is a powerful creature. He has the capacity to think, speak and create. But more powerful than all of those is his will, his desire. For it is ultimately his will that drives all of his other gifts to do its bidding. On the one hand, we have man's will and on the other we have G-d's. Herein lies the choice. Man can place his own will on a pedestal or he can place G-d's there. He can worship himself or he can worship G-d.


We can easily look like religious people and, in reality, worship ourselves. Are we part of G-d's will or is He part of ours? These are difficult questions, with which we must struggle.


For those who make the conscious decision to bow and to sacrifice, they must understand what it is they are sacrificing. They are giving up the most precious thing of all, themselves. Their driving force, their source of life and their will are all placed on an

Examine what remains when we peel off layer after layer of motivation.

altar as a sacrifice to G-d. Man need not give up his personality and individuality, but it must be bent, molded and shaped to the pursuit of the will of G-d.


We have the idea that there are some korbanot that are more beloved to G-d. We recall the story of Cain and Hevel. What is the ultimate korban ("sacrifice")? Oneself. "U'lekorban akriv lo et nafshi, et nafshi hayechida."


During these days of teshuvah, we must return to our soul, to the root of ourselves. We must examine what remains when we peel off layer after layer of motivation. Only then can we truly return to G-d, with our head bowed and sacrifice in hand.