Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is a cross between Little Red Riding Hood and the Wicked Witch of the West.

I'll get you Mr. Bush, and your little dogs, too.

The Democrats have presented the United States with one nightmare representative after another and this time, she's in third place in the power line-up. Hockey fans would concur, conservatives need a power play, especially if they intend to be in the political playoffs come '08.

Where does Madame Pelosi come off traveling to Syria and delivering a message from Ehud Olmert that Mr. Olmert himself never communicated to Poisonous Pelosi? She thinks she can single-handedly fix the so-called crisis in the Middle East, by lying to a Syrian dentist while wearing a schmatte on her head? Please.

Oh, Mr. Assad, what big teeth you have.

If she wants to protect the rights of her beloved supposedly downtrodden Arabs living in Eretz Yisrael, then she could start with visiting an Arab in the Palestinian Authority who was arrested by... Arabs in the Palestinian Authority. He is awaiting the death penalty for the crime of - are you ready, Ms. Pelosi? - selling his home to a Jewish family. A second Arab is being held in Ms. Pelosi's paradise of Jordan, also facing the death penalty for his participation in the same crime. Can anyone say, "moderates"?

Proponents of the Palestinian Authority vowed that independence from Jewish rule would spark a period of enlightenment within the badgered, helpless, defenseless, abused innocent Palestinian people, who wanted nothing more than to live peacefully and thrive in a Jew-free zone - within Eretz Yisrael and the Jewish State. No Jews allowed in this part of Eretz Yisrael. And this insane request was actually granted by the Jewish government, proving once again that we are our own worst enemies. No other group harms its own self-preservation more than the Jewish people of Israel and the United States. In fact, we have become professionals at this skill. Of course, we have paid the price, as we always do. Par for our course.

During her vacation in the region, Poisonous Pelosi made no plans to visit the PA Arab awaiting the executioner's sword. Evidently, she doesn't believe in meddling in foreign

Pelosi made no plans to visit the PA Arab awaiting the executioner's sword.

affairs that may cause her schmatte to unravel. She also had no plans to visit the other criminal in her favorite moderate land, Jordan. Why? Was Princess Rania spending the day at Neiman-Marcus and therefore unavailable? Inquiring minds would like to know.

Pelosi remarked that "the road to peace leads to Damascus." Doesn't it also lead to Iran? Perhaps her next stop (she can wear the same schmatte) should be a brunch date with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. She can call him "Adolph," just for fun. Wouldn't that be a scream?

The better to eat you with, my dear.

The real scream will be coming from this author when American Jews, undaunted by this recent Pelosi trick - I mean, trip - will go to the polls in November and still pull every lever with the letter "D" after the candidate's name. I wonder if they will all be wearing their schmattes, too, in a show of solidarity with the newly anointed one: Poisonous Pelosi, third in line to the Presidency of the United States of America.

Oy Vey.