It is a well-known rabbinic adage that emerges from the succession of the next three Torah portions: Acharei Mot, Kedoshim Emor - "After their death, they say 'Holy.'" That is, as soon as you are gone, they talk about how 'holy' you were. Put another way, we never truly appreciate someone or something until he or it is gone.


But there is another "spin" we can give to this phrase by slightly moving the comma: Acharei Mot Kedoshim, Emor - "After the death of the righteous, speak."


There is a natural tendency on the part of any mourner to embrace silence; he experiences an almost involuntary inability to express the enormity of his loss, for that loss is too big for words. How can we find the right vocabulary to encapsulate a life; how can we hope to convey the kaleidoscope of emotions we are experiencing? And if speaking cannot do justice to our emotions, then we are much better served by silence.


Now, if this is true on a personal level, it is equally valid on a national level. What words can grasp the enormity of the Shoah? What poem, song or lecture can take in the

We must try to speak out at some point.

heroism, grief and sacrifice of Israel's seven (or more, by some counts) wars?


And yet, these combined sedra titles tell us that we must make an attempt, we must try to speak out at some point. We have to get that emotion out. That's why our rabbis required us to gather at a minyan after experiencing a loss, in order to recite the Kaddish. Though the mourner may wish to withdraw, physically and verbally, he knows that - at least three times a day - he has to appear in public and speak.


For many years, Holocaust survivors were reluctant to share their experiences. Even if they found the words, they worried, would the public be receptive? Indeed, my mother-in-law, who survived Auschwitz, told me she tried, shortly after coming to America, to explain to a group of ladies what had befallen her.
 
"You think you had it rough?" they told her. "We had to endure the Great Depression and the bread lines!" At that point, she decided it would be better just to be quiet.


But later, she began to speak out, as did many others; Spielberg's video project opened up thousands more. And the Israeli media does all it can to tell the story of the soldiers who gave their lives to defend our country, suspending all regular TV coverage on Yom HaZikaron in order to tell the stories.


As challenging as it may be, we owe it to our martyred heroes to speak. Memory - as transmitted through the stories we tell - is the key to Redemption.