Question:
I recently attended my first Jewish wedding. It was all new to me, but what I found most peculiar was the dancing. Men and women danced separately! I thought, ?This is odd. Doesn't a wedding celebrate the coming together of man and woman? How can you do this by separating them into circles of men only and women only??
Answer:
A guest at a Jewish wedding is not just an onlooker. Every guest has a mission: to enhance the joy of the bridal couple. And they make this happen through dancing. When joy is shared, it is deepened.
But to dance at a wedding the way one would dance in a bar or nightclub is to miss the point. That type of dancing is self-focused - it is all about me and my partner, or perhaps even just me. The cool moves and sharp steps are fuelled more by the quest for attention from the opposite sex than by any joy felt for the newlyweds. As you boogie away, it makes little difference whether or not the bride and groom are in the same room, because the dancing is not about them anyway.
Then there's Jewish dancing. The guests dance in separate circles - the women around the bride and the men around the groom. The couple are the sole centre of attention, and the dancing is all about making them happy and lifting them up. The separation of the sexes removes the sense of competition, and all are free to just have fun. In a circle, no one leads or follows, all are equal. It is not about who makes the best moves, but rather everyone together creating a circle of love and joy around the couple.
What's more, the circle is infinite - it has no beginning and no end. By dancing in a circle, the family and friends bless the couple that their love should have no end like the circle has no end, and last for a lifetime and beyond.
I recently attended my first Jewish wedding. It was all new to me, but what I found most peculiar was the dancing. Men and women danced separately! I thought, ?This is odd. Doesn't a wedding celebrate the coming together of man and woman? How can you do this by separating them into circles of men only and women only??
Answer:
A guest at a Jewish wedding is not just an onlooker. Every guest has a mission: to enhance the joy of the bridal couple. And they make this happen through dancing. When joy is shared, it is deepened.
But to dance at a wedding the way one would dance in a bar or nightclub is to miss the point. That type of dancing is self-focused - it is all about me and my partner, or perhaps even just me. The cool moves and sharp steps are fuelled more by the quest for attention from the opposite sex than by any joy felt for the newlyweds. As you boogie away, it makes little difference whether or not the bride and groom are in the same room, because the dancing is not about them anyway.
Then there's Jewish dancing. The guests dance in separate circles - the women around the bride and the men around the groom. The couple are the sole centre of attention, and the dancing is all about making them happy and lifting them up. The separation of the sexes removes the sense of competition, and all are free to just have fun. In a circle, no one leads or follows, all are equal. It is not about who makes the best moves, but rather everyone together creating a circle of love and joy around the couple.
What's more, the circle is infinite - it has no beginning and no end. By dancing in a circle, the family and friends bless the couple that their love should have no end like the circle has no end, and last for a lifetime and beyond.