I'm trying to understand what is happening in this country. The more times I listen to the latest news, the less I understand. I'm not even convinced the government itself can explain its actions.



Normally, a review of the past would clarify the present, but this only serves to blur the picture even more. What I do know is that a few years back we were asked to vote in a new government. Israelis went to the polls after examining what each side was offering, their plan for the next few years, what they would do if they were elected.



We had the choice between continuing the weak message of capitulation offered by Shimon Peres and Ehud Barak, or Ariel Sharon's bold and strong position, from which we all hoped peace would come. We had the option of continuing to divide the country into settlers, Right and Left, or unify it into one people seeking an end to the seemingly endless war waged against us.



Israelis decided that what they wanted was a strong leader to lead us in times of trouble. We were in the midst of a war; terrorism was rampant here and abroad. Our most generous offers had been thrown back in our faces and negotiations were at a complete standstill. The Palestinians had made it clear that violence was their chosen method of operation, and the only response from the Labor government was the endless ebb and flow in which we tightened restrictions on the Palestinians and then eased them, entered their cities and then exited them. The cycle was endless, repetitive and self-destructive.



Hoping to leave that behind, we chose a leader who promised not to negotiate under fire, to respond with strength, to seek peace and security equally to ensure the future of our country. All was clear to me then. It all made sense.



If the Arabs were ready to talk, we would negotiate. If the Palestinians wanted to blow up buses, we would track them down and stop them with all the might of our superior army, so that mothers wouldn't be burying their babies, husbands wouldn't be mourning for murdered wives. Our children would be safe. It was all so clear.



We would finally act as other nations do. Hurt us, and we hurt you back. Try to infiltrate our cities, and we will build a wall so high, you'll never make it through. Smuggle killers among workers and the workers won't be allowed in. The wall would make a difference and we would build it despite international protests, because the goal of a government, first and foremost, must be to protect the lives of its people. The hard line was working. Terrorism was dropping and Israelis were feeling safe again.



It's true, we weren't on a road to peace, but we were on the road to security, because we finally admitted to ourselves that we could not achieve peace alone. Much of the world even agreed. Finally, they were seeing Yasser Arafat for the terrorist murderer he was. The European Union was beginning to examine where they had thrown billions of euros and accountability was the watchword of the day.



Then, it all fell apart, and I'm still not clear on how or why. Suddenly, the bulldozer, the man of strength, the brilliant tactician lost his way, or maybe just his mind. Sharon buckled and the moral strength of the government fell with him.



Suddenly, we were begging the Arabs to take whatever we could give them. We'll pull out of Gaza, we promised, even if you keep shooting rockets at us; and they have. We will open the gates of our country, even when you gun down our citizens; and they do. We will release prisoners, even when they vow to come back and continue inciting towards violence.



But even during the birth of Sharon's ill-conceived plan, a moment of sanity shone through. Sharon said he'd ask the people who supported him to make their opinions known. A referendum of the Likud was called. We put him in office and he came back to ask us what we thought of his plan. We told him in a resounding defeat (or perhaps a victory). And, irony of ironies, Sharon balked and refused to honor the very referendum he had called.



Then, Sharon went to the Central Committee members, promising to listen to them. And again he was defeated, and again he ignored them. Next, cabinet members refused to buckle under, and so Sharon fired them. If you can't get a majority, says the Sharon concept of government, redefine the numbers. Sharon lost one coalition and formed another, all dedicated to implementing his plan, his dream, his will.



The will of the people, the dreams of Israel, the plan of the electorate that brought him to office has been betrayed.



Sickened by all the political maneuverings, his supporters took to the streets to tell him, but he refused to listen. In great numbers they show him, but he refuses to see. In mass demonstration after mass demonstration, in an unparalleled human chain stretching across the nation, our message was clear.



Arik, ask the people. You have no right to decide the future of this nation alone. And your government, the one that was elected on one platform and now seeks to install another, lacks the legitimate right to proceed. Ask the people, Arik. Listen to the people.



The right has promised to abide by a referendum. We are part of Israel and we recognize and celebrate the democracy of this land. We do not seek to hide or circumvent the true will of the people, as Ariel Sharon does. We will not agree if the majority votes to withdraw from Gaza, but we will accept this ruling because it comes from the people. The people of Israel must decide the future of Israel if there is to be peace amongst ourselves. After all the dishonest maneuverings of this government, only a referendum will prove what the people want.



Ever a realist, I do see improvements in the level of rhetoric and even action coming from Abu Mazen, and perhaps we are, finally, on the path to peace. But we certainly haven't arrived, and Sharon is tripping over his feet trying to release prisoners and withdraw from cities, turn over the bodies of terrorists, stop the targeted killings, open the gates to Palestinian workers.



All in its time. What is the rush? It's taken us more than 50 years to get into the depths of this conflict. We cannot crawl out of it in a day or a month, and maybe not even in a year. The peace with Egypt is a cold one because nations moved, but not people. True peace will be made when governments and people are brought together, when the level of rhetoric is lowered and reason is heard. This takes time to build, to nurture.



If we are to really determine whether we finally have partners in peace, we must walk the long road with them, not run to the end of the road and hope they find their way to us eventually.



For each positive action they take, we must answer with a positive action in return, so that both peoples are encouraged to continue. If necessary, we can lead. We can offer positive action and wait for an equal response. But to surrender all, to withdraw from everywhere, to open ourselves, our cities, our homes for what remains an elusive dream - that is suicide.



This government is spiraling out of control, so busy trying to keep itself in power it has lost all sense of security, all sense of justice, all sense of what is right. If Sharon is to lead this country, he must submit to a national referendum now, before history judges him as a dictator and a fool.