Yasser Arafat is still listed as slightly dead. We'll keep you posted on the latest, as to when Swamp Thing is pronounced completely dead.
As the world waits, and Suha shops, doctors from the Sorbonne's Josef Mengele Annex are on the job.
Meanwhile, George W. Bush is back in the White House, and all's right with the world.
Depending on what world you live in.
If you're a Christian and live in Darfur and you're surrounded by Janjaweed Arabs, well, this is not good. Better move to the safety of some European country, like the Netherlands. Oops. My mistake. Bad idea. Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh just got killed over there for being critical of Islam. Seven Islamic "militants" have already been charged.
By the way, on semantics, when the people on television tell us that there's bad news about Arafat, don't they mean good news?
Imagine this, Bush up, Arafat down, all within 24 hours, and you say life sucks? Life is good.
Michael Moore, who's your daddy?
Say, what happened to that investigation into wrongdoing at CBS? You know, Dan Rather and Memogate? What's taking so long when the shoe is on the other foot?
Hold it... hold it... Stop the Presses... There's a verdict in the Scott Peterson case. Oh, there isn't? Conditional ballots from blue state jurists have yet to be counted?
Dan Rather, who's your daddy?
Personally, Mr. President, I forgive you for saying "God bless his soul" when the good news arrived about Arafat. You were being sarcastic, right? You would not bless the soul of Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, and Arafat was the head of all those snakes.
Finally, though, some in-your-face from an Israeli leader as to where Swamp Thing is to be dumped. "Jerusalem is the city where Jewish kings are buried, not Arab terrorists." So said Justice Minister Tommy Lapid, and how sweet it was to hear an Israeli speak up for his land, for a change, and Biblically nuanced to boot. Where has this been all along?
So, moments after Bush got swept into office again, here's Tony Blair telling us how happy he is about that, but then, in the same breath, he turns and blames everything else on Israel. "The need to revitalize the Middle East peace process is the single most pressing political challenge in our world today." Translation: President Bush, destroy Israel now.
Well, we'll always have Europe.
Maureen Dowd, who's your daddy? Maureen (along with New York Times sidekick Paul Krugman) snapped right back with bile and bitterness. What did you expect? She's got a book to sell, a collection of all her hate-Bush columns. Is the book still selling? I guess. Some guy made a fortune selling pet rocks.
Lawrence O'Donnell, sorry about your MSNBC meltdown in front of millions. Hope you're feeling better. Oops. You must be feeling worse. Who's your daddy?
Jacques Chirac, four more years! (Just in case, brush up on your German.)
Read the Left carefully when they say we live in two Americas. What they mean is that they still don't accept Bush. Bush, to them, is president of Republican Americans, not Democrat Americans. Take that as a signal that the ugliness will go on as long as Bruce Springsteen howls at the moon.
Yo, Bruce, for real, who's the Boss?
Robert Reich and that Alan Colmes keep reminding us that Kerry did get 55 million votes. This means? This means that until a Republican pitches a shutout, like 150 million votes to nothing (or "nil" as they say in Europe), it's still selected, not elected. They won't cry "Uncle" until it's a sweep.
Surely (and don't call me Shirley), we'll always have the Left.
Tom Daschle, who's your daddy?
This just in. Arafat is dead, but expected to recover.
Until then, the BBC weeps for Swamp Thing, along with the rest of the world. Here's the BBC's Barbara Plett: "Yet when the helicopter carrying the frail old man rose above his ruined compound, I started to cry - without warning." Honestreporting.com reminds us that on May 6, 2001, the BBC's Fayad Abu Shamala told Hamas, "Journalists and media organizations [are] waging the campaign shoulder to shoulder together with the Palestinian people."
David Remnick, who's your daddy?
Actually, this is what I came to talk about, so please change the headline to, "Whose Messianic Complex Is This Anyway?"
Too bad Remnick's The New Yorker has forsaken its literary legacy and gone so deeply into politics.
Remnick was all for Kerry and all against Bush, and we hear (as The New Yorker likes to say), that Remnick was quite devastated by the turn of events.
But last week's issue had a terrific piece on Amos Oz, a profile on Israel's most famous author, written by Remnick himself.
I learned much. Oz was a founder of Shalom Achshav, Peace Now. I did not know this. So how is Peace Now any less messianic than Moshiach Now? Huh?
By now, it is well known what Ariel Sharon said about those Jewish settlers who, for some reason, don't want to be removed from their homes.
Taking the cue from Menachem Begin (but wrongly and out of context), Sharon accused the "settlers" of suffering from a "messianic complex."
So, I'm reading this piece on Oz by Remnick, or, you might say, leftist to leftist, and Oz is saying how wonderful it would be if Sharon broke the deadlock by making a Sadat-style gesture, "expressing sympathy," offering up a Palestinian state and a share of Jerusalem. (Wasn't this done already and rejected? By Arafat?) Arafat, meanwhile, finally realizes "that this is the Jewish national home, too... Can you imagine?"
No, Amos, I can't imagine that, but I can imagine this, with this question: Now who's being messianic? Now who's got a messianic complex?
Is the Left any less messianic than the Right? I'd say more. I just showed you the evidence.
Oh, Remnick writes this: "The four leading novelists in Israel - Oz, Aharon Appelfeld, A. B. Yehoshua, and David Grossman -- are all on the political left."
Hello? What happened to Naomi Ragen? Last I heard, she was ranked as the second most popular writer in Israel, along with a worldwide following.
Well, she is on the political right, so no wonder. They're so easy to forget.
George Soros, who's your daddy?
As the world waits, and Suha shops, doctors from the Sorbonne's Josef Mengele Annex are on the job.
Meanwhile, George W. Bush is back in the White House, and all's right with the world.
Depending on what world you live in.
If you're a Christian and live in Darfur and you're surrounded by Janjaweed Arabs, well, this is not good. Better move to the safety of some European country, like the Netherlands. Oops. My mistake. Bad idea. Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh just got killed over there for being critical of Islam. Seven Islamic "militants" have already been charged.
By the way, on semantics, when the people on television tell us that there's bad news about Arafat, don't they mean good news?
Imagine this, Bush up, Arafat down, all within 24 hours, and you say life sucks? Life is good.
Michael Moore, who's your daddy?
Say, what happened to that investigation into wrongdoing at CBS? You know, Dan Rather and Memogate? What's taking so long when the shoe is on the other foot?
Hold it... hold it... Stop the Presses... There's a verdict in the Scott Peterson case. Oh, there isn't? Conditional ballots from blue state jurists have yet to be counted?
Dan Rather, who's your daddy?
Personally, Mr. President, I forgive you for saying "God bless his soul" when the good news arrived about Arafat. You were being sarcastic, right? You would not bless the soul of Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden, and Arafat was the head of all those snakes.
Finally, though, some in-your-face from an Israeli leader as to where Swamp Thing is to be dumped. "Jerusalem is the city where Jewish kings are buried, not Arab terrorists." So said Justice Minister Tommy Lapid, and how sweet it was to hear an Israeli speak up for his land, for a change, and Biblically nuanced to boot. Where has this been all along?
So, moments after Bush got swept into office again, here's Tony Blair telling us how happy he is about that, but then, in the same breath, he turns and blames everything else on Israel. "The need to revitalize the Middle East peace process is the single most pressing political challenge in our world today." Translation: President Bush, destroy Israel now.
Well, we'll always have Europe.
Maureen Dowd, who's your daddy? Maureen (along with New York Times sidekick Paul Krugman) snapped right back with bile and bitterness. What did you expect? She's got a book to sell, a collection of all her hate-Bush columns. Is the book still selling? I guess. Some guy made a fortune selling pet rocks.
Lawrence O'Donnell, sorry about your MSNBC meltdown in front of millions. Hope you're feeling better. Oops. You must be feeling worse. Who's your daddy?
Jacques Chirac, four more years! (Just in case, brush up on your German.)
Read the Left carefully when they say we live in two Americas. What they mean is that they still don't accept Bush. Bush, to them, is president of Republican Americans, not Democrat Americans. Take that as a signal that the ugliness will go on as long as Bruce Springsteen howls at the moon.
Yo, Bruce, for real, who's the Boss?
Robert Reich and that Alan Colmes keep reminding us that Kerry did get 55 million votes. This means? This means that until a Republican pitches a shutout, like 150 million votes to nothing (or "nil" as they say in Europe), it's still selected, not elected. They won't cry "Uncle" until it's a sweep.
Surely (and don't call me Shirley), we'll always have the Left.
Tom Daschle, who's your daddy?
This just in. Arafat is dead, but expected to recover.
Until then, the BBC weeps for Swamp Thing, along with the rest of the world. Here's the BBC's Barbara Plett: "Yet when the helicopter carrying the frail old man rose above his ruined compound, I started to cry - without warning." Honestreporting.com reminds us that on May 6, 2001, the BBC's Fayad Abu Shamala told Hamas, "Journalists and media organizations [are] waging the campaign shoulder to shoulder together with the Palestinian people."
David Remnick, who's your daddy?
Actually, this is what I came to talk about, so please change the headline to, "Whose Messianic Complex Is This Anyway?"
Too bad Remnick's The New Yorker has forsaken its literary legacy and gone so deeply into politics.
Remnick was all for Kerry and all against Bush, and we hear (as The New Yorker likes to say), that Remnick was quite devastated by the turn of events.
But last week's issue had a terrific piece on Amos Oz, a profile on Israel's most famous author, written by Remnick himself.
I learned much. Oz was a founder of Shalom Achshav, Peace Now. I did not know this. So how is Peace Now any less messianic than Moshiach Now? Huh?
By now, it is well known what Ariel Sharon said about those Jewish settlers who, for some reason, don't want to be removed from their homes.
Taking the cue from Menachem Begin (but wrongly and out of context), Sharon accused the "settlers" of suffering from a "messianic complex."
So, I'm reading this piece on Oz by Remnick, or, you might say, leftist to leftist, and Oz is saying how wonderful it would be if Sharon broke the deadlock by making a Sadat-style gesture, "expressing sympathy," offering up a Palestinian state and a share of Jerusalem. (Wasn't this done already and rejected? By Arafat?) Arafat, meanwhile, finally realizes "that this is the Jewish national home, too... Can you imagine?"
No, Amos, I can't imagine that, but I can imagine this, with this question: Now who's being messianic? Now who's got a messianic complex?
Is the Left any less messianic than the Right? I'd say more. I just showed you the evidence.
Oh, Remnick writes this: "The four leading novelists in Israel - Oz, Aharon Appelfeld, A. B. Yehoshua, and David Grossman -- are all on the political left."
Hello? What happened to Naomi Ragen? Last I heard, she was ranked as the second most popular writer in Israel, along with a worldwide following.
Well, she is on the political right, so no wonder. They're so easy to forget.
George Soros, who's your daddy?