I was blessed with an amazing mother. I am not saying she is perfect, but she is very resilient and wise and, thank G-d, I have learned a lot from her.
So, it is with the knowledge I have gained from my own mother and from being a mother that I offer some advice to the Israeli government, in the form of quotes said over and over and over to me as a child, and now repeated by me again and again and again to my own children. Some of the sayings are eclectic, so I have included an explanation.
(1) Put things back where they belong.
One common misconception is that we should "put things back where we found them." However, where we found them is not always where they belong. Small children, well-meaning guests, and animals can displace things easily; simply putting something back where you found it will add to the chaos. In the case of a theft, putting things back where we found them would mean that we should return stolen items to a thief. This is not ethical, moral or smart. Instead, one must put things back where they belong.
Jewish lands, whether they have been moved by a well-meaning guest, misplaced, by children or animals, or stolen by thieves, need to be put back where they belong. Jewish lands belong to Israel, and Jewish people belong on Jewish land. Give the land back to the rightful owners. Put things back where they belong.
(2) If you loan something to someone, don't expect to get it back. Never lend someone something that you care deeply about.
This not only applies to items. It also applies to your heart, your trust and your reputation. The responsibility is on the lender, not the borrower. Don't lend any resources to anyone you wouldn't give to them outright. The moment we lend something out, we are admitting that it is not important enough to keep.
Why would we ever hand Jordan custody of our Holy Temple? Why would we lend our trust to Yasser Arafat? Why would we risk our reputation to sign on to agreements that are not in our best interest? We must take responsibility for what we do and show respect for what is important to us. Don't expect someone to care about our precious things the same way we care about them. If something is precious, treasure it and hold it close.
(3) If you threaten someone, you must be willing to follow through completely. Threats must be specific, concrete and realistic.
This is an essential piece of advice that works from childhood, into motherhood, into politics. It is the material that makes up the garment of integrity. Standing by a threat is how trust, respect and confidence are grown -- both in yourself and in those around you. Never make a wild threat like telling a three-year-old that he can never come out of his room again, because he will eventually have to use the bathroom. Never say to your mother that you will never talk to her again, because you may need a pair of socks tomorrow. If you make a threat, make it specific and stick by it no matter what. This is how others learn to trust you, respect you and have confidence in what you say.
Don't say you will leave the government in 14 days if you won't. Don't say that you won't let Arafat back in if he leaves, then change your mind. This undermines your integrity and makes it less likely people will trust what you say tomorrow.
(4) The world is not a melting pot, it is ten-bean soup. Be your own bean.
Ten-bean soup is delicious because it has variety and texture. Society is like ten-bean soup. You must maintain your own color, consistency and texture, while sharing and contributing to the broth of the world. Don't lose yourself to others, don't try to be what you aren't, and be proud of the way you are.
Don't apologize for being a Jewish state, don't try to be like another nation, and understand that you have an important contribution to make by being strong, resolute and whole.
(5) Remember, if you can't find the wind, let go of the sail and the sail will find the wind.
No one gets anywhere by trying to control every aspect of a situation. If you have lost sight of what keeps you going forward, maybe you need to let go and take the time to find your source again. A person does not power the sailboat, they can only work with what is there, make the best of it and try their best to reach their destination. You must carefully and lightly guide the boat, only when it is important, trimming the sails and steering the rudder enough to keep heading in the right direction. If you try too hard to control every aspect the situation, you will find yourself overboard; and if you only go with the flow, you will find yourself horribly off course. You must have a goal in mind, tack when you need to, and work with the elements.
Ariel Sharon is overboard, the Knesset is off course and the boat is sinking. Would someone please find a navigator who understands what it means to successfully berth a Jewish nation? It isn't about personal power, pleasing the world or making friends with those who wish we were dead. It means we know who we are, what we stand for, and where we are going. If someone needs a map, please open the Torah.
So, it is with the knowledge I have gained from my own mother and from being a mother that I offer some advice to the Israeli government, in the form of quotes said over and over and over to me as a child, and now repeated by me again and again and again to my own children. Some of the sayings are eclectic, so I have included an explanation.
(1) Put things back where they belong.
One common misconception is that we should "put things back where we found them." However, where we found them is not always where they belong. Small children, well-meaning guests, and animals can displace things easily; simply putting something back where you found it will add to the chaos. In the case of a theft, putting things back where we found them would mean that we should return stolen items to a thief. This is not ethical, moral or smart. Instead, one must put things back where they belong.
Jewish lands, whether they have been moved by a well-meaning guest, misplaced, by children or animals, or stolen by thieves, need to be put back where they belong. Jewish lands belong to Israel, and Jewish people belong on Jewish land. Give the land back to the rightful owners. Put things back where they belong.
(2) If you loan something to someone, don't expect to get it back. Never lend someone something that you care deeply about.
This not only applies to items. It also applies to your heart, your trust and your reputation. The responsibility is on the lender, not the borrower. Don't lend any resources to anyone you wouldn't give to them outright. The moment we lend something out, we are admitting that it is not important enough to keep.
Why would we ever hand Jordan custody of our Holy Temple? Why would we lend our trust to Yasser Arafat? Why would we risk our reputation to sign on to agreements that are not in our best interest? We must take responsibility for what we do and show respect for what is important to us. Don't expect someone to care about our precious things the same way we care about them. If something is precious, treasure it and hold it close.
(3) If you threaten someone, you must be willing to follow through completely. Threats must be specific, concrete and realistic.
This is an essential piece of advice that works from childhood, into motherhood, into politics. It is the material that makes up the garment of integrity. Standing by a threat is how trust, respect and confidence are grown -- both in yourself and in those around you. Never make a wild threat like telling a three-year-old that he can never come out of his room again, because he will eventually have to use the bathroom. Never say to your mother that you will never talk to her again, because you may need a pair of socks tomorrow. If you make a threat, make it specific and stick by it no matter what. This is how others learn to trust you, respect you and have confidence in what you say.
Don't say you will leave the government in 14 days if you won't. Don't say that you won't let Arafat back in if he leaves, then change your mind. This undermines your integrity and makes it less likely people will trust what you say tomorrow.
(4) The world is not a melting pot, it is ten-bean soup. Be your own bean.
Ten-bean soup is delicious because it has variety and texture. Society is like ten-bean soup. You must maintain your own color, consistency and texture, while sharing and contributing to the broth of the world. Don't lose yourself to others, don't try to be what you aren't, and be proud of the way you are.
Don't apologize for being a Jewish state, don't try to be like another nation, and understand that you have an important contribution to make by being strong, resolute and whole.
(5) Remember, if you can't find the wind, let go of the sail and the sail will find the wind.
No one gets anywhere by trying to control every aspect of a situation. If you have lost sight of what keeps you going forward, maybe you need to let go and take the time to find your source again. A person does not power the sailboat, they can only work with what is there, make the best of it and try their best to reach their destination. You must carefully and lightly guide the boat, only when it is important, trimming the sails and steering the rudder enough to keep heading in the right direction. If you try too hard to control every aspect the situation, you will find yourself overboard; and if you only go with the flow, you will find yourself horribly off course. You must have a goal in mind, tack when you need to, and work with the elements.
Ariel Sharon is overboard, the Knesset is off course and the boat is sinking. Would someone please find a navigator who understands what it means to successfully berth a Jewish nation? It isn't about personal power, pleasing the world or making friends with those who wish we were dead. It means we know who we are, what we stand for, and where we are going. If someone needs a map, please open the Torah.