Before we get to that - Bobby Fischer - I have an announcement to make: I am a New Jersey American. There, I said it, I outed myself, and I'm proud.
That took guts. Thank you. Finally, out of the closet.
I live in South Jersey, right across the river from the Holy City of Philadelphia. You got a problem with that?
But it gets worse. I am also a Heterosexual American. Care to join me in a Straight Pride Parade?
What gets me is the word "pride". I am suspicious of persons who are proud of being this or that, like New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy outing himself as a Gay American.
Unlike most war heroes who choose dignified silence, John Kerry is proud of his exploits in Vietnam, and right away that's a red herring.
"I am," McGreevy told the world proudly, "a Gay American."
You're gay, fine. Do what you have to do. I am not judging. But don't give me proud. I'm straight. So? Nobody's perfect.
Please, don't get me started on how we keep giving the world Monica Lewinskys and Golan Cipels; Cipel, an Israeli, being McGreevy's alleged lover.
We also gave you Jesus, Freud, Einstein, Salk, Sabin, not to mention Sandy Koufax. Jewish surgeon Dr. Henry Heimlich developed an anti-choking maneuver that continues to save thousands of lives, no matter if you're gay, straight or even anti-Semitic. Heimlich hails from my old hometown, the Holy City of Cincinnati.
Through our Ten Commandments, we also taught the world how to behave. Not our fault that the world never bought into the program.
Moving right along, between you and me, I don't think McGreevy is gay. I don't believe he was playing the Gay American Card as much as he was playing the Victim American Card. My guess is that Victim American is a good cover for all that other sleaze going on in his administration.
Say you're gay, and you're also saying: can't touch me.
So how does all this add up to Bobby Fischer? I don't know yet. I'm trying. Work with me. I will say this. The world is moving too fast to stick to one subject.
Okay, Bobby Fischer. Late word has it that the champion of chess, who dazzled us ages ago, is one step closer to being deported, back to the US, from Japan.
Who knew he was there? I didn't. I didn't know he was anywhere. Who cared?
But apparently we want him back to answer charges for playing in Yugoslavia when he wasn't supposed to, according to US law. A US grand jury indicted him back in 1992.
Even as we speak, his lawyers are trying to keep him in Japan, or anywhere outside of US territory. Here's hoping they succeed.
Do we need Bobby Fischer? Isn't Michael Moore enough? I'd go for this. You give us Bobby Fischer, we'll give you Michael Moore.
Sounds like checkmate to me.
Bobby Fischer, as we all know, used to be a chess prodigy. Then, as the world turns, he became an anti-American, anti-Semite prodigy.
His crime was not that he played where he wasn't supposed to play, but that he misused his God-given genius. Imagine if Beethoven had stopped after his first symphony and spent the rest of his life in deranged bitterness.
Word is that Bobby Fischer cheered the collapse of our Twin Towers. According to ABC News (I found this on the Web), "In radio interviews, he praised the September 11 terrorist attacks, saying America should be 'wiped out' and described Jews as 'thieving, lying bastards.' His mother was Jewish."
Don't know if his mother is dead or alive. Is she proud?
One more thing and I'm outta here. If that Imam Ali Shrine in Najaf is so holy, how come Muslims themselves are using it as a foxhole? Where is the outcry from the Muslim world against Moqtada Al-Sadr and his fellow terrorist sissies? Imagine ifYasser Arafat's holy warriors scurried like rats into the sacred Church of the Nativity, and used most of it as a latrine? Oops. That's exactly what did happen. Then, too, mostly silence from around the world.
Just the other day, incidentally, I wrote that if Israel wins a gold medal at these Olympics, the UN Security Council will convene in emergency session to denounce Israel, and the World Court at the Hague will insist that the medal be removed and revoked. Well, guess what? Israel has won its first gold medal ever. That happened when Gal Friedman, 28, came in first in the Men's Mistral Wind Surfing Sailing Event.
No word yet on what world action is to be taken against this Israeli chutzpah, but as for me, I'm darn near proud.
That took guts. Thank you. Finally, out of the closet.
I live in South Jersey, right across the river from the Holy City of Philadelphia. You got a problem with that?
But it gets worse. I am also a Heterosexual American. Care to join me in a Straight Pride Parade?
What gets me is the word "pride". I am suspicious of persons who are proud of being this or that, like New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevy outing himself as a Gay American.
Unlike most war heroes who choose dignified silence, John Kerry is proud of his exploits in Vietnam, and right away that's a red herring.
"I am," McGreevy told the world proudly, "a Gay American."
You're gay, fine. Do what you have to do. I am not judging. But don't give me proud. I'm straight. So? Nobody's perfect.
Please, don't get me started on how we keep giving the world Monica Lewinskys and Golan Cipels; Cipel, an Israeli, being McGreevy's alleged lover.
We also gave you Jesus, Freud, Einstein, Salk, Sabin, not to mention Sandy Koufax. Jewish surgeon Dr. Henry Heimlich developed an anti-choking maneuver that continues to save thousands of lives, no matter if you're gay, straight or even anti-Semitic. Heimlich hails from my old hometown, the Holy City of Cincinnati.
Through our Ten Commandments, we also taught the world how to behave. Not our fault that the world never bought into the program.
Moving right along, between you and me, I don't think McGreevy is gay. I don't believe he was playing the Gay American Card as much as he was playing the Victim American Card. My guess is that Victim American is a good cover for all that other sleaze going on in his administration.
Say you're gay, and you're also saying: can't touch me.
So how does all this add up to Bobby Fischer? I don't know yet. I'm trying. Work with me. I will say this. The world is moving too fast to stick to one subject.
Okay, Bobby Fischer. Late word has it that the champion of chess, who dazzled us ages ago, is one step closer to being deported, back to the US, from Japan.
Who knew he was there? I didn't. I didn't know he was anywhere. Who cared?
But apparently we want him back to answer charges for playing in Yugoslavia when he wasn't supposed to, according to US law. A US grand jury indicted him back in 1992.
Even as we speak, his lawyers are trying to keep him in Japan, or anywhere outside of US territory. Here's hoping they succeed.
Do we need Bobby Fischer? Isn't Michael Moore enough? I'd go for this. You give us Bobby Fischer, we'll give you Michael Moore.
Sounds like checkmate to me.
Bobby Fischer, as we all know, used to be a chess prodigy. Then, as the world turns, he became an anti-American, anti-Semite prodigy.
His crime was not that he played where he wasn't supposed to play, but that he misused his God-given genius. Imagine if Beethoven had stopped after his first symphony and spent the rest of his life in deranged bitterness.
Word is that Bobby Fischer cheered the collapse of our Twin Towers. According to ABC News (I found this on the Web), "In radio interviews, he praised the September 11 terrorist attacks, saying America should be 'wiped out' and described Jews as 'thieving, lying bastards.' His mother was Jewish."
Don't know if his mother is dead or alive. Is she proud?
One more thing and I'm outta here. If that Imam Ali Shrine in Najaf is so holy, how come Muslims themselves are using it as a foxhole? Where is the outcry from the Muslim world against Moqtada Al-Sadr and his fellow terrorist sissies? Imagine ifYasser Arafat's holy warriors scurried like rats into the sacred Church of the Nativity, and used most of it as a latrine? Oops. That's exactly what did happen. Then, too, mostly silence from around the world.
Just the other day, incidentally, I wrote that if Israel wins a gold medal at these Olympics, the UN Security Council will convene in emergency session to denounce Israel, and the World Court at the Hague will insist that the medal be removed and revoked. Well, guess what? Israel has won its first gold medal ever. That happened when Gal Friedman, 28, came in first in the Men's Mistral Wind Surfing Sailing Event.
No word yet on what world action is to be taken against this Israeli chutzpah, but as for me, I'm darn near proud.