[Dedicated in the loving memory of my dear cousins, Shterna Esther and Chayah Mushka Shmueli, ages 12 and 14, who returned their souls to their maker, last Motzei Shabbat (Saturday night), August 7, 2004. These two angelic sisters, deeply cherished and beloved by their family, friends and community, "who were beloved and sweet in their lives and in their deaths have not parted,"(*) will eternally be remembered.]
Two Sisters
This past Saturday night, my mother's first cousin lost her two youngest children, ages 12 and 14. While one of these young girls lost her balance in a swimming pool, her sister jumped in to rescue her. They both drowned.
Some tragedies are simply unbelievable. They just leave you with a lump in your throat and a stab in your heart, unable to make any sense of their hellish absurdity. How, in a single instance, can two beautiful, angelic sisters just not be anymore?
During the shivah call, their older brother shared with me how his sisters' death changed his own paradigm. "I feel now a profound yearning for the coming of Moshiach [the universal redemption ushered in by a morally inspired giant]," he said, "not only because I want to see my sisters again, but because their sudden death demonstrated to me how nothing else in this world is really worth fighting for.
"Life is simply too short, precious and vulnerable," he said, "to be spent on petty things; on anything less than bringing Moshiach to the world."
How true. Life is certainly too valuable and sacred to be spent on power struggles, ego games, envy, hate and divisiveness.
Obstructing The Flow Of Blessings
One of the greatest crises facing the Jewish community today is the divisiveness and animosity existing among Jews who disagree with each other on various issues, religious, political communal and social. It is not only a split between distinct denominations and communities. Often, within a single community, one encounters the flames of hatred and fragmentation that set apart family from family, group from group, or one person from his fellow human being.
This is sad, because according to our tradition, the most critical prerequisite for a community to receive Divine blessings lies in its unity.(1) The Midrash relates(2) the powerful contrast between two generations of Jews, one pagan and the other monotheistic.
The generation living during the reign of the evil Biblical King Achav, says the Midrash, was filled with pagan idol worshippers. Yet, these sinful Jews were victorious in their wars against their enemies. Why? Because mutual accord and respect dominated their midst; they learned to like and get along with each other.
On the other hand, the generation of Jews living during the reign of King David was very religious and observant, clinging ferociously to the Jewish faith in a single universal G-d. Yet, they died in war. Why? The sages say it's because they despised and informed upon each other.
The ultimate test for the integrity and spirituality of a human being in Judaism is not in his or her scholarship, faith or religious observance, but in his or her capacity to love the stranger, to transcend the ego and escape the traps of divisiveness and hate.(3)
The Cancer of Divisiveness
The story is told of the saintly Rabbi Israel Meir HaCohen Kagan,(3) known as the "Chafetz Chaim",(4) who bore witness to an extraordinary conflict that broke out between two wealthy Jews in his community.
In the midst of their personal war of gossip, animosity and nasty letters, a child of the quarrel's chief instigator fell very ill. The Chafetz Chaim paid a visit the child's father and said to him: "Don't you see what your fighting caused? Don't you think that for the sake of your child, it is about time to extinguish the blaze of hatred?"
To which the father responded: "I will bury my child; but I will come out a winner!"
The great sage could do nothing but break into bitter sobbing.
Such is the disease of interpersonal wars. Once you get involved in it, you lose much of your sanity and healthy judgment. You are driven only by one agenda: to emerge a victor. Nothing else, even the life and well-being of loved ones, matters. The need to come out victorious turns you blind to everything that really matters in life.
Fragmentation and hate in communities is like a cancer that drains people of their energy, and consumes the hearts and brains of the community. Like cancer, they spread in frightening swiftness and often do not cease until they kill their victims mentally and, heaven forbid, sometimes physically.
The Ten-Year Squabble
A story is told about two outstanding sages and scholars of the 18th century, Rabbis Jacob Emden (1697-1776) and Jonathan Eybeschuetz (1690-1764), who were engaged in a stormy conflict.(5) The former incorrectly accused the latter of being a secret follower of the false messianic sect of Shabtai-Zvi and attempted to excommunicate him from the Jewish community. The conflict, which divided German Jewry, subsided after a decade of bitter dispute.
One day, after the bickering ended, Rabbi Jacob Emden, who initiated the discord, was asked if his war against Rabbi Jonathan Eybeschuetz was idealistically motivated, "for the sake of heaven," or it was it perhaps fueled by ulterior motives?
Rabbi Emden, an extremely candid and genuine human being, replied: "The onset of the fighting may have been done for the sake of heaven. I'm not sure."
What the rabbi was saying is that once he was in the midst of the war, he was certain that ulterior motives had taken over the show and played a role in the squabbling. But even before he began, he could not be sure that his ego, or some other destructive force, was not the fuel that ignited the flame.
Rabbi Jacob Emden understood a truth that many of us ignore: once we are involved in a serious argument, we lack the objectivity, even before we start, to determine whether our perspective serves the truth. We must always, always possess the courage to say to ourselves: "Maybe I'm wrong."
How many more tragedies must we witness, heaven forbid, in order to "get it"?
Footnotes:
*) This is a quote from King David's eulogy over the death of King Saul and his son Jonathan (Samuel 2, 1:23).
1) See Mishnah, the end of Auktzin. Derech Eretz Zutah, Perek Hasholom. This truth pervades the Talmudic and Midrashic literature, see many references noted in Or Hatorah, Bereishis vol. 3 p. 1334. Cf. Tanya chapter 32.
2) Yalkut Melachim, Remez 213 and many other sources, referenced in Or Hatorah, ibid.
3) See Torah Or, Megilas Esther p. 91a: "Since G-d is true Oneness, He can only dwell in a place of oneness and unity." Cf. Hayom Yom 28 Nissan and 8 Av.
4) This is the name of his famous work discussing the duty to guard one's tongue from gossip, slander and negative talk about a fellow human being. Rabbi Israel Meir Kagan was born in Zhetel, Poland, and ultimately settled in the Polish city of Radin. He authored twenty-one volumes, including the widely acclaimed Mishnah Brurah on Jewish law, and dedicated his life to fostering mutual respect and love among Jews.
5) Rabbi Jacob Emden was regarded as a scholar of great distinction and his name lives on as the "Yaabez." He authored four works, including a still widely used siddur (prayer book) and the work Shaalass Yavatz. He was a fiery opponent of the Shabbateans, the sect of Jews who continued to believe in Shabtai-Zvi as the messiah for the century following his conversion to Islam.
Except for a brief period of time when the Yavatz served as the rabbi of Emden, he was never an elected Jewish authority.
Rabbi Eybeschuetz was a teacher and preacher in Prague; then he served as rabbi of Metz, Germany; and finally assumed the position of Chief Rabbi of the German communities of Altona, Hamburg and Wandsbeck, till his passing. He authored six books, among them a book of brilliant sermons, Yearos Devash, and a Biblical commentary, Tiferes Yehonasan.
6) Deuteronomy 15: 7-8;12.
Two Sisters
This past Saturday night, my mother's first cousin lost her two youngest children, ages 12 and 14. While one of these young girls lost her balance in a swimming pool, her sister jumped in to rescue her. They both drowned.
Some tragedies are simply unbelievable. They just leave you with a lump in your throat and a stab in your heart, unable to make any sense of their hellish absurdity. How, in a single instance, can two beautiful, angelic sisters just not be anymore?
During the shivah call, their older brother shared with me how his sisters' death changed his own paradigm. "I feel now a profound yearning for the coming of Moshiach [the universal redemption ushered in by a morally inspired giant]," he said, "not only because I want to see my sisters again, but because their sudden death demonstrated to me how nothing else in this world is really worth fighting for.
"Life is simply too short, precious and vulnerable," he said, "to be spent on petty things; on anything less than bringing Moshiach to the world."
How true. Life is certainly too valuable and sacred to be spent on power struggles, ego games, envy, hate and divisiveness.
Obstructing The Flow Of Blessings
One of the greatest crises facing the Jewish community today is the divisiveness and animosity existing among Jews who disagree with each other on various issues, religious, political communal and social. It is not only a split between distinct denominations and communities. Often, within a single community, one encounters the flames of hatred and fragmentation that set apart family from family, group from group, or one person from his fellow human being.
This is sad, because according to our tradition, the most critical prerequisite for a community to receive Divine blessings lies in its unity.(1) The Midrash relates(2) the powerful contrast between two generations of Jews, one pagan and the other monotheistic.
The generation living during the reign of the evil Biblical King Achav, says the Midrash, was filled with pagan idol worshippers. Yet, these sinful Jews were victorious in their wars against their enemies. Why? Because mutual accord and respect dominated their midst; they learned to like and get along with each other.
On the other hand, the generation of Jews living during the reign of King David was very religious and observant, clinging ferociously to the Jewish faith in a single universal G-d. Yet, they died in war. Why? The sages say it's because they despised and informed upon each other.
The ultimate test for the integrity and spirituality of a human being in Judaism is not in his or her scholarship, faith or religious observance, but in his or her capacity to love the stranger, to transcend the ego and escape the traps of divisiveness and hate.(3)
The Cancer of Divisiveness
The story is told of the saintly Rabbi Israel Meir HaCohen Kagan,(3) known as the "Chafetz Chaim",(4) who bore witness to an extraordinary conflict that broke out between two wealthy Jews in his community.
In the midst of their personal war of gossip, animosity and nasty letters, a child of the quarrel's chief instigator fell very ill. The Chafetz Chaim paid a visit the child's father and said to him: "Don't you see what your fighting caused? Don't you think that for the sake of your child, it is about time to extinguish the blaze of hatred?"
To which the father responded: "I will bury my child; but I will come out a winner!"
The great sage could do nothing but break into bitter sobbing.
Such is the disease of interpersonal wars. Once you get involved in it, you lose much of your sanity and healthy judgment. You are driven only by one agenda: to emerge a victor. Nothing else, even the life and well-being of loved ones, matters. The need to come out victorious turns you blind to everything that really matters in life.
Fragmentation and hate in communities is like a cancer that drains people of their energy, and consumes the hearts and brains of the community. Like cancer, they spread in frightening swiftness and often do not cease until they kill their victims mentally and, heaven forbid, sometimes physically.
The Ten-Year Squabble
A story is told about two outstanding sages and scholars of the 18th century, Rabbis Jacob Emden (1697-1776) and Jonathan Eybeschuetz (1690-1764), who were engaged in a stormy conflict.(5) The former incorrectly accused the latter of being a secret follower of the false messianic sect of Shabtai-Zvi and attempted to excommunicate him from the Jewish community. The conflict, which divided German Jewry, subsided after a decade of bitter dispute.
One day, after the bickering ended, Rabbi Jacob Emden, who initiated the discord, was asked if his war against Rabbi Jonathan Eybeschuetz was idealistically motivated, "for the sake of heaven," or it was it perhaps fueled by ulterior motives?
Rabbi Emden, an extremely candid and genuine human being, replied: "The onset of the fighting may have been done for the sake of heaven. I'm not sure."
What the rabbi was saying is that once he was in the midst of the war, he was certain that ulterior motives had taken over the show and played a role in the squabbling. But even before he began, he could not be sure that his ego, or some other destructive force, was not the fuel that ignited the flame.
Rabbi Jacob Emden understood a truth that many of us ignore: once we are involved in a serious argument, we lack the objectivity, even before we start, to determine whether our perspective serves the truth. We must always, always possess the courage to say to ourselves: "Maybe I'm wrong."
How many more tragedies must we witness, heaven forbid, in order to "get it"?
Footnotes:
*) This is a quote from King David's eulogy over the death of King Saul and his son Jonathan (Samuel 2, 1:23).
1) See Mishnah, the end of Auktzin. Derech Eretz Zutah, Perek Hasholom. This truth pervades the Talmudic and Midrashic literature, see many references noted in Or Hatorah, Bereishis vol. 3 p. 1334. Cf. Tanya chapter 32.
2) Yalkut Melachim, Remez 213 and many other sources, referenced in Or Hatorah, ibid.
3) See Torah Or, Megilas Esther p. 91a: "Since G-d is true Oneness, He can only dwell in a place of oneness and unity." Cf. Hayom Yom 28 Nissan and 8 Av.
4) This is the name of his famous work discussing the duty to guard one's tongue from gossip, slander and negative talk about a fellow human being. Rabbi Israel Meir Kagan was born in Zhetel, Poland, and ultimately settled in the Polish city of Radin. He authored twenty-one volumes, including the widely acclaimed Mishnah Brurah on Jewish law, and dedicated his life to fostering mutual respect and love among Jews.
5) Rabbi Jacob Emden was regarded as a scholar of great distinction and his name lives on as the "Yaabez." He authored four works, including a still widely used siddur (prayer book) and the work Shaalass Yavatz. He was a fiery opponent of the Shabbateans, the sect of Jews who continued to believe in Shabtai-Zvi as the messiah for the century following his conversion to Islam.
Except for a brief period of time when the Yavatz served as the rabbi of Emden, he was never an elected Jewish authority.
Rabbi Eybeschuetz was a teacher and preacher in Prague; then he served as rabbi of Metz, Germany; and finally assumed the position of Chief Rabbi of the German communities of Altona, Hamburg and Wandsbeck, till his passing. He authored six books, among them a book of brilliant sermons, Yearos Devash, and a Biblical commentary, Tiferes Yehonasan.
6) Deuteronomy 15: 7-8;12.