First off let me apologize for the grammar. Prognosticatory pieces are so rare that there is as yet no AP Style Handbook for the Futures Imperfect. Be that as it may have yet to be ? depending on your placement along the time-line ? I took a brief sojourn into tomorrow?s headlines. Not a pretty picture, even if I had remembered to get the winning lottery numbers.
There is an old joke that goes like this: "Yasser Arafat will die on a Jewish holiday. Because any day he dies will automatically be a holiday for the Jews." I decided to test the truth of this. I was not so concerned about the means of his death, but the aftermath, so I took a little jaunt along one of the time-lines when Arafat dies (free will obviating that there is more than one possible outcome). Here is what I found.
In scenario #1, Arafat died (willen haven died?) of causes that could not be legally or forensically tied to some Zionist conspiracy. Jews the world over were celebrating, not his death, but the possibility of a real peace. These celebrations lasted maybe eight hours, tops. Long enough for the other 999,999,999 Muslims and Arabs to get their act together. Then came the backlash.
It was on a global scale and made Kristallnacht look like a tea party. Everywhere, Muslims and Arabs were blaming Jews for the ?premature? death of Yasser Arafat (as if he was too young to die of old age). Riots, burnings, home invasions on a massive scale (especially in France) were common, as were stonings. Jewish businesses were trashed and looted, Jewish school children were dragged through the streets and beaten.
CNN reported that ?Palestinian activists? took to the streets to express their grief. The BBC showed file footage of a Jewish family celebrating a wedding with much dancing, laughing and handing out of treats, implying that this was the way that Jews treated the death of Arafat. The New York Times had a banner headline that read: "Last Victim of the Intifada" and showed Arafat?s picture alongside some file photos of the IDF bulldozing a house.
Seeing all this made me so heartsick that I quickly zapped back to my own time and decided to try again. I reset the controls and was whisked back into a slightly different future.
This next future showed the same misplaced grief and rage directed at Jews, but it also showed something else. The head of the beast wasn?t Yasser Arafat; he was merely the public persona. Even though he had died, the beast itself was still alive and kicking. It turns out (willen haven turned out?) that Arafat was merely a very expensive front for a pan-Arab agenda that wanted to make the Middle East Judenrein. Behind the ?behind-the-scenes? people, were the same players, controlling all the same terror groups, pulling all the purse strings.
There was a period of chaos, death and destruction as each group angled for position. Hamas and Hezbollah vied with each other for the blessings of the common people. Fatah and Islamic Jihad competed to show who could blow up the most Israelis. At first, the streets were filled with angry Arabs blaming the Jews for Arafat?s demise. Rapidly, that to changed to Arab fighting Arab for control of the Palestinian piggy bank. The mayhem and blood that ensued was too much, so I zipped back to my own time, again forgetting to write down the winning lottery numbers.
I decided to give my little time trip one more try; maybe there would be one nice possible outcome. This time around, there was still the ?Blame-the-Jews? mentality, but there wasn?t such a power vacuum. Certain groups had already been planning for such a contingency. Hamas, Islamic Jihad, the PFLP, and a host of other splinter factions were united under the Hezbollah banner. Then Hezbollah, with the backing of Iran and Syria, gave Israel an ultimatum. Surrender and/or die. Saudi Arabia had its American-made missiles and jets on Israel?s borders, Iran had nuclear-capable warheads, and even Pakistan got in on the act with her newly tested long-range missiles. The UN, with France leading the chorus, blamed Israel, and George Bush, being in an election year, wisely kept his mouth shut and straddled the security fence.
Since I could see where this was heading, I got out of there quickly. But I learned several important lessons. First, no matter how bad things can get, at some point a sewer can look like the top of the Eiffel Tower. Second, hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Third, whenever an utterly cruel tyrant departs, there are always a few more waiting in the wings. And lastly, always check tomorrow?s lottery numbers, so that the next time I have to buy ear swabs I'll be able to afford the kind that actually have some cotton on the tips and not those no-frills-designed-by-Attilla-the-Hun-your-money-back-if-you-don't-bleed ear scrapers.
There is an old joke that goes like this: "Yasser Arafat will die on a Jewish holiday. Because any day he dies will automatically be a holiday for the Jews." I decided to test the truth of this. I was not so concerned about the means of his death, but the aftermath, so I took a little jaunt along one of the time-lines when Arafat dies (free will obviating that there is more than one possible outcome). Here is what I found.
In scenario #1, Arafat died (willen haven died?) of causes that could not be legally or forensically tied to some Zionist conspiracy. Jews the world over were celebrating, not his death, but the possibility of a real peace. These celebrations lasted maybe eight hours, tops. Long enough for the other 999,999,999 Muslims and Arabs to get their act together. Then came the backlash.
It was on a global scale and made Kristallnacht look like a tea party. Everywhere, Muslims and Arabs were blaming Jews for the ?premature? death of Yasser Arafat (as if he was too young to die of old age). Riots, burnings, home invasions on a massive scale (especially in France) were common, as were stonings. Jewish businesses were trashed and looted, Jewish school children were dragged through the streets and beaten.
CNN reported that ?Palestinian activists? took to the streets to express their grief. The BBC showed file footage of a Jewish family celebrating a wedding with much dancing, laughing and handing out of treats, implying that this was the way that Jews treated the death of Arafat. The New York Times had a banner headline that read: "Last Victim of the Intifada" and showed Arafat?s picture alongside some file photos of the IDF bulldozing a house.
Seeing all this made me so heartsick that I quickly zapped back to my own time and decided to try again. I reset the controls and was whisked back into a slightly different future.
This next future showed the same misplaced grief and rage directed at Jews, but it also showed something else. The head of the beast wasn?t Yasser Arafat; he was merely the public persona. Even though he had died, the beast itself was still alive and kicking. It turns out (willen haven turned out?) that Arafat was merely a very expensive front for a pan-Arab agenda that wanted to make the Middle East Judenrein. Behind the ?behind-the-scenes? people, were the same players, controlling all the same terror groups, pulling all the purse strings.
There was a period of chaos, death and destruction as each group angled for position. Hamas and Hezbollah vied with each other for the blessings of the common people. Fatah and Islamic Jihad competed to show who could blow up the most Israelis. At first, the streets were filled with angry Arabs blaming the Jews for Arafat?s demise. Rapidly, that to changed to Arab fighting Arab for control of the Palestinian piggy bank. The mayhem and blood that ensued was too much, so I zipped back to my own time, again forgetting to write down the winning lottery numbers.
I decided to give my little time trip one more try; maybe there would be one nice possible outcome. This time around, there was still the ?Blame-the-Jews? mentality, but there wasn?t such a power vacuum. Certain groups had already been planning for such a contingency. Hamas, Islamic Jihad, the PFLP, and a host of other splinter factions were united under the Hezbollah banner. Then Hezbollah, with the backing of Iran and Syria, gave Israel an ultimatum. Surrender and/or die. Saudi Arabia had its American-made missiles and jets on Israel?s borders, Iran had nuclear-capable warheads, and even Pakistan got in on the act with her newly tested long-range missiles. The UN, with France leading the chorus, blamed Israel, and George Bush, being in an election year, wisely kept his mouth shut and straddled the security fence.
Since I could see where this was heading, I got out of there quickly. But I learned several important lessons. First, no matter how bad things can get, at some point a sewer can look like the top of the Eiffel Tower. Second, hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Third, whenever an utterly cruel tyrant departs, there are always a few more waiting in the wings. And lastly, always check tomorrow?s lottery numbers, so that the next time I have to buy ear swabs I'll be able to afford the kind that actually have some cotton on the tips and not those no-frills-designed-by-Attilla-the-Hun-your-money-back-if-you-don't-bleed ear scrapers.