In parashat Vayetze, stones symbolize both unity and disunity. In the first story, Yaakov comes to Charan, bunks down for the night and gathers some stones for a pillow. After his famous dream, Yaakov wakes up and says, ?This is a place where Hashem is, and I didn't know!? He takes the stone that he had put under his head and makes it into an altar. One wonders why Yaakov's attention is focused on a stone?
Yaakov continues on his journey and comes to a field where there is a large well covered by a huge stone. The stone is so big that the shepherds have to wait until they are all gathered in order to roll it off. But Yaakov sees the beautiful Rachel coming and single-handedly (29:10) ?rolls off the stone.? He approaches Rachel, kisses her and cries. Again, a stone plays a role in the story.
In the last story of the parasha, Lavan chases after Yaakov insisting that he stole his idols. After a search that finds nothing, Lavan suggests they make a covenant. As a symbol of the covenant, Yaakov chooses a stone. The agreement between them is that the stone will be a sign or demarcation that neither of them will pass to harm the other. What's with all the stones?
In the first story, Rashi notes that Yaakov gathered many stones for his pillow, but after his dream he took (28:18) ?the stone.? Rashi explains that all the stones vied for the position directly under Yaakov's head, because each one wanted to have that tzaddik's head on it, so Hashem caused all the stones to merge into one. The stones went from a symbol of disunity to one of unity. Since this is the place where the future Temple would stand, the message seems to be that the Temple, which connects Heaven and Earth, is the ultimate place where a Jew finds unity with Hashem.
In the second story, Rashbam says that there was such a huge stone on the well because the shepherds didn't trust each other not to steal extra water, so they wanted to make sure no one could take water by himself. Here again the stone symbolizes disunity. When Yaakov sees Rachel and realizes he has found his soul mate (someone with whom he will be unified or ?one?) he throws off the stone. Now that the well has become a place of unity, the stone has no place there.
In the last story, both connotations of the stone are again implied. Lavan and Yaakov agree that only in unity can they live together. If they will try to harm each other, better that they be apart.
The overall message here is that stones are not inherently good or bad, rather it depends on how we use them. We choose whether to throw them at each other, or to use them to draw one another together. Hopefully we will choose the latter. And if one needs help in choosing, Eretz Yisrael is a place that can help a Jew choose the side of unity rather than disunity with his fellow Jew.
As an example, we know that there is another way that Judaism uses stones to symbolize unity is when visiting a grave. The Jewish custom is not to put flowers on a grave, but a stone, which signifies that the deceased person's memory will live on for eternity. A few years ago, on my first-ever Yom Hazikaron (Memorial Day) in Israel, I went to Mt. Herzl military cemetery. While I was there, I gathered a bunch of stones and when I could get close enough to a grave, I would put a stone on it. The reaction of the family members mourning was incredible, they would stop their crying or speaking to say "Kol Hakavod" ? nice going ? or "Todah" ? thank you.
At one point, I reached a grave in front of which sat a man who looked to be in his seventies or eighties. After I put one of my stones down on the grave, he looked up at me and, with the tear tracks still fresh on his face, he said "Todah rabbah." ? "Thank you very much." Something about the look in his eyes made me think that it would be okay to ask him whose grave it was that he had come to visit. When I did, he proceeded to tell me that the grave in front of which he was sitting was that of his grandson (the age on the tombstone read "twenty-one").
He told me that his grandson had been the head of an elite commando unit, whose mission it was to go deep into Lebanon to get a captured Israeli soldier out. The good news was that the mission was successful and the unit managed to get the soldier out alive. The bad news was that there was one casualty in the mission ? this man's grandson. The old man then turned to a slightly younger man sitting next to him (probably in his fifties or sixties), and told me that the second man was his son, the dead boy's father. As soon as he finished telling me this, the siren went off. The old man stood up next to me and together we observed the moment of silence for his grandson and for the rest of Israel's fallen soldiers.
When the siren finished and I turned to go, something made me turn back and ask the old man one more question. In Israel, the evening of Yom HaZikaron turns into Yom HaAtzmaut (Independence Day). Yom HaAtzmaut is the biggest day of celebration in Israel. As a result, one sees the most incredible change in the late afternoon of Yom HaZikaron, as the country goes from an intense state of mourning to one of wild celebration, which includes dancing in the streets, fireworks, etc.
Knowing this, I asked the man, "How do you do it? How will you go from intense mourning of your grandson today, to the wild celebration of Yom HaAtzmaut tonight? How can you go from one extreme to the other?"
The man hesitated for a moment and then said, "You don't understand. I don't view these days as two extremes. I see one as the natural result of the other. You can only have a Yom HaAtzmaut if you have had a Yom HaZikaron. The challenge is to see the Yom HaAtzmaut within the Yom HaZikaron."
I will never forget that day. That experience gave me such a sense of unity with my fellow Jew, with my country and even with Hashem. And it was all due to a stone. What an incredible Land!
------------------------------------------------
Shprintza Herskovits writes from Jerusalem, Israel.
Yaakov continues on his journey and comes to a field where there is a large well covered by a huge stone. The stone is so big that the shepherds have to wait until they are all gathered in order to roll it off. But Yaakov sees the beautiful Rachel coming and single-handedly (29:10) ?rolls off the stone.? He approaches Rachel, kisses her and cries. Again, a stone plays a role in the story.
In the last story of the parasha, Lavan chases after Yaakov insisting that he stole his idols. After a search that finds nothing, Lavan suggests they make a covenant. As a symbol of the covenant, Yaakov chooses a stone. The agreement between them is that the stone will be a sign or demarcation that neither of them will pass to harm the other. What's with all the stones?
In the first story, Rashi notes that Yaakov gathered many stones for his pillow, but after his dream he took (28:18) ?the stone.? Rashi explains that all the stones vied for the position directly under Yaakov's head, because each one wanted to have that tzaddik's head on it, so Hashem caused all the stones to merge into one. The stones went from a symbol of disunity to one of unity. Since this is the place where the future Temple would stand, the message seems to be that the Temple, which connects Heaven and Earth, is the ultimate place where a Jew finds unity with Hashem.
In the second story, Rashbam says that there was such a huge stone on the well because the shepherds didn't trust each other not to steal extra water, so they wanted to make sure no one could take water by himself. Here again the stone symbolizes disunity. When Yaakov sees Rachel and realizes he has found his soul mate (someone with whom he will be unified or ?one?) he throws off the stone. Now that the well has become a place of unity, the stone has no place there.
In the last story, both connotations of the stone are again implied. Lavan and Yaakov agree that only in unity can they live together. If they will try to harm each other, better that they be apart.
The overall message here is that stones are not inherently good or bad, rather it depends on how we use them. We choose whether to throw them at each other, or to use them to draw one another together. Hopefully we will choose the latter. And if one needs help in choosing, Eretz Yisrael is a place that can help a Jew choose the side of unity rather than disunity with his fellow Jew.
As an example, we know that there is another way that Judaism uses stones to symbolize unity is when visiting a grave. The Jewish custom is not to put flowers on a grave, but a stone, which signifies that the deceased person's memory will live on for eternity. A few years ago, on my first-ever Yom Hazikaron (Memorial Day) in Israel, I went to Mt. Herzl military cemetery. While I was there, I gathered a bunch of stones and when I could get close enough to a grave, I would put a stone on it. The reaction of the family members mourning was incredible, they would stop their crying or speaking to say "Kol Hakavod" ? nice going ? or "Todah" ? thank you.
At one point, I reached a grave in front of which sat a man who looked to be in his seventies or eighties. After I put one of my stones down on the grave, he looked up at me and, with the tear tracks still fresh on his face, he said "Todah rabbah." ? "Thank you very much." Something about the look in his eyes made me think that it would be okay to ask him whose grave it was that he had come to visit. When I did, he proceeded to tell me that the grave in front of which he was sitting was that of his grandson (the age on the tombstone read "twenty-one").
He told me that his grandson had been the head of an elite commando unit, whose mission it was to go deep into Lebanon to get a captured Israeli soldier out. The good news was that the mission was successful and the unit managed to get the soldier out alive. The bad news was that there was one casualty in the mission ? this man's grandson. The old man then turned to a slightly younger man sitting next to him (probably in his fifties or sixties), and told me that the second man was his son, the dead boy's father. As soon as he finished telling me this, the siren went off. The old man stood up next to me and together we observed the moment of silence for his grandson and for the rest of Israel's fallen soldiers.
When the siren finished and I turned to go, something made me turn back and ask the old man one more question. In Israel, the evening of Yom HaZikaron turns into Yom HaAtzmaut (Independence Day). Yom HaAtzmaut is the biggest day of celebration in Israel. As a result, one sees the most incredible change in the late afternoon of Yom HaZikaron, as the country goes from an intense state of mourning to one of wild celebration, which includes dancing in the streets, fireworks, etc.
Knowing this, I asked the man, "How do you do it? How will you go from intense mourning of your grandson today, to the wild celebration of Yom HaAtzmaut tonight? How can you go from one extreme to the other?"
The man hesitated for a moment and then said, "You don't understand. I don't view these days as two extremes. I see one as the natural result of the other. You can only have a Yom HaAtzmaut if you have had a Yom HaZikaron. The challenge is to see the Yom HaAtzmaut within the Yom HaZikaron."
I will never forget that day. That experience gave me such a sense of unity with my fellow Jew, with my country and even with Hashem. And it was all due to a stone. What an incredible Land!
------------------------------------------------
Shprintza Herskovits writes from Jerusalem, Israel.