A friend of mine sat down at my kitchen table, stirred a teaspoon of honey into her tea, and asked casually, ?What does anti-Semitism mean??
?What do you mean?? I asked. ?You know what anti-Semitism is!?
?Well, I guess it all seems very clear until you want to accuse someone of it, right? I mean, even the European Union is having a problem defining it, right? It seems so clear. Anti-Semitism is discrimination against Jews, but I guess if you put it in the right context, or if you frame it the right way, it doesn?t really exist, right??
I took a long sip of tea and put my cup down. ?Well, I wouldn?t say that it doesn?t exist. I guess I would just have to say that some people don?t want to admit that it exists. It is easier to say that it isn?t a hatred of Jews that they are harboring per se, it is really just a hatred of Israel, or just a dislike of the political policies of the Jewish state, or they are just inconvenienced by our holidays, or they are just tired of our people or whatever... They have a thousand ways of saying what is really just hate. They don?t want to say the word ?Anti-Semitic,? but it really is what is going on. So what brings this topic up??
?Well, my ex-husband, who, as you know, is not Jewish...?
I rolled my eyes. He never lets her or I or anyone else forget this. My friend is religious now. She wasn?t religious when she married him. She was young. She thought love was the answer to all differences. It wasn?t. ?OK...?
?His family wants the children to come to a dinner with his family. I said it was fine, but they needed to have kosher food. He said that was impossible. I told him I could make it and send it, but he said he wanted the dinner to be from his family, not from me. ?Fine,? I said, ?then the children can come, but they can?t eat.? Then he got very angry and asked, ?Then what is the point of them coming to dinner?? He told me I was unreasonable because I shouldn?t expect his family to provide my children with kosher food when his family isn?t Jewish. So I ask you, should I see his behavior as anti-Semitic??
?Good question. Let me see. OK. His father is diabetic right??
?Right.?
?Are they making special food for his father??
?They always do, and I brought this up. My ex-husband argued that this was a medical necessity, not a religious reason, so that is why they make his special food.?
?Oh. OK. And your ex-husband?s sister is a vegetarian, right??
?Yes.?
?And are they going to have anything special on the menu for her??
?Well, when I was still married to him, they always went out of their way to make something special for her. They made sure they checked with her to make sure things were the right brand name organic stuff, and that they were vegetarian products. I brought up her special diet, but my ex-husband said that she is politically and philosophically motivated to eat a special diet. She doesn?t want to hurt the animals or harm the environment. Besides, everyone can eat her food as a side dish, he said.?
?But they can also eat the kosher food!? I said in exasperation. ?The children can?t eat their food, but they can eat the children?s food! And what is more politically and philosophically motivating than the Jewish religion?? I was slopping my tea on the saucer in an emotional fit at this point.
?I told him that, but he says that he isn?t Jewish, so I shouldn?t expect them to go out of their way to get something kosher.?
?And what did you say??
?I said I thought he was anti-Semitic. That is when he said, ?You don?t even know what anti-Semitism means!? And that is why I came to you.? She leaned back in her chair, took a sip of her tea, took a deep breath, and said calmly with a smile, ?So, what does it mean, and who gets to define the term??
Some significant questions for an afternoon tea party, especially when Israel is facing some of the most significant anti-Semitic episodes since the Holocaust. It isn?t just the overt acts of swastikas and synagogue bombings, but the more subversive and diabolical acts that we face every day as Jews that we must be alert to. But who stands up for us? Not us, that is clear.
Our government is too busy trying to capitulate to those who want to destroy us. We will cut off our nose to spite our face. We will call our own land a ?territory? and label our own products differently to please those who hide their anti-Semitism in pretty libraries and kind terms so they don?t insult the Arabs.
We will call our own citizens ?settlers? and suggest that it is okay to move them from their homes and give away their land to foreigners. We will allow those of other religions to broadcast incitement and hatred of our people on our radio stations and close down our own stations.
We will tell our own people they cannot build on land they legally own, while strangers build illegally on our mountains and on our holy sites. We stand by while terrorists kill our children and destroy the burial sites of our patriarchs and our matriarchs, and ban us from our most Holy Temple; and we will let others define our borders.
So, what does anti-Semitism mean? And who gets to define the term?
?What do you mean?? I asked. ?You know what anti-Semitism is!?
?Well, I guess it all seems very clear until you want to accuse someone of it, right? I mean, even the European Union is having a problem defining it, right? It seems so clear. Anti-Semitism is discrimination against Jews, but I guess if you put it in the right context, or if you frame it the right way, it doesn?t really exist, right??
I took a long sip of tea and put my cup down. ?Well, I wouldn?t say that it doesn?t exist. I guess I would just have to say that some people don?t want to admit that it exists. It is easier to say that it isn?t a hatred of Jews that they are harboring per se, it is really just a hatred of Israel, or just a dislike of the political policies of the Jewish state, or they are just inconvenienced by our holidays, or they are just tired of our people or whatever... They have a thousand ways of saying what is really just hate. They don?t want to say the word ?Anti-Semitic,? but it really is what is going on. So what brings this topic up??
?Well, my ex-husband, who, as you know, is not Jewish...?
I rolled my eyes. He never lets her or I or anyone else forget this. My friend is religious now. She wasn?t religious when she married him. She was young. She thought love was the answer to all differences. It wasn?t. ?OK...?
?His family wants the children to come to a dinner with his family. I said it was fine, but they needed to have kosher food. He said that was impossible. I told him I could make it and send it, but he said he wanted the dinner to be from his family, not from me. ?Fine,? I said, ?then the children can come, but they can?t eat.? Then he got very angry and asked, ?Then what is the point of them coming to dinner?? He told me I was unreasonable because I shouldn?t expect his family to provide my children with kosher food when his family isn?t Jewish. So I ask you, should I see his behavior as anti-Semitic??
?Good question. Let me see. OK. His father is diabetic right??
?Right.?
?Are they making special food for his father??
?They always do, and I brought this up. My ex-husband argued that this was a medical necessity, not a religious reason, so that is why they make his special food.?
?Oh. OK. And your ex-husband?s sister is a vegetarian, right??
?Yes.?
?And are they going to have anything special on the menu for her??
?Well, when I was still married to him, they always went out of their way to make something special for her. They made sure they checked with her to make sure things were the right brand name organic stuff, and that they were vegetarian products. I brought up her special diet, but my ex-husband said that she is politically and philosophically motivated to eat a special diet. She doesn?t want to hurt the animals or harm the environment. Besides, everyone can eat her food as a side dish, he said.?
?But they can also eat the kosher food!? I said in exasperation. ?The children can?t eat their food, but they can eat the children?s food! And what is more politically and philosophically motivating than the Jewish religion?? I was slopping my tea on the saucer in an emotional fit at this point.
?I told him that, but he says that he isn?t Jewish, so I shouldn?t expect them to go out of their way to get something kosher.?
?And what did you say??
?I said I thought he was anti-Semitic. That is when he said, ?You don?t even know what anti-Semitism means!? And that is why I came to you.? She leaned back in her chair, took a sip of her tea, took a deep breath, and said calmly with a smile, ?So, what does it mean, and who gets to define the term??
Some significant questions for an afternoon tea party, especially when Israel is facing some of the most significant anti-Semitic episodes since the Holocaust. It isn?t just the overt acts of swastikas and synagogue bombings, but the more subversive and diabolical acts that we face every day as Jews that we must be alert to. But who stands up for us? Not us, that is clear.
Our government is too busy trying to capitulate to those who want to destroy us. We will cut off our nose to spite our face. We will call our own land a ?territory? and label our own products differently to please those who hide their anti-Semitism in pretty libraries and kind terms so they don?t insult the Arabs.
We will call our own citizens ?settlers? and suggest that it is okay to move them from their homes and give away their land to foreigners. We will allow those of other religions to broadcast incitement and hatred of our people on our radio stations and close down our own stations.
We will tell our own people they cannot build on land they legally own, while strangers build illegally on our mountains and on our holy sites. We stand by while terrorists kill our children and destroy the burial sites of our patriarchs and our matriarchs, and ban us from our most Holy Temple; and we will let others define our borders.
So, what does anti-Semitism mean? And who gets to define the term?