Rejoicing in Our Wrappings
"And you shall rejoice in your festival, you and your son, and your daughter, and your man-servant, and your maid-servant, and the Levite, the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your gates." (Devarim 16:14)
?Rejoicing in your festival? is a celebration in Jerusalem, involving partaking of the sacrifices brought to the Temple. Our sages teach that women are also obligated to rejoice in the peace offerings of joy. In addition, rejoicing must include drinking wine, dressing up in new clothes, giving out fruits and candies to the children, playing music and singing in Jerusalem. Our sages moreover explain that each kind of person needs to seek pleasure in the way most appropriate for him and her. They established that men primarily become happy through drinking wine; whereas, women enjoy wearing new clothing.
Rejoicing for the Sake of G-d
According to Sefer Chinuch, the root of the mitzva is that people need to celebrate periodically, in the same way that we need food, rest and sleep. G-d, however, desired that we dedicate this joy to His name, in order that we should find merit before Him in all our doings. Therefore, He established the pilgrim festivals to remember the miracles and the goodness that He bestows upon us. At those times, He commanded us to nourish our physical needs by celebrating with the good things in life. When our satisfaction and happiness are for the sake of G-d, we are assured that our joy will remain within the boundaries of what is proper, without going overboard.
Her Appearance as a Way of Self-Expression
In suggesting the different ways men and women achieve happiness, our sages demonstrate their perception of the fundamental difference between the sexes. Let us try to tune into the question of why men rejoice through wine, and women through beautiful clothes.
"When wine goes in, the secrets come out." (Eruvin 65b) Wine helps to express our innermost thoughts and feelings. When men get moody, they often withdraw and refuse to express their feelings. John Gray writes in Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, "When a man is stressed he will withdraw into the cave of his mind and focus on solving a problem... At such times, he becomes increasingly distant, forgetful, unresponsive, and preoccupied in his relationships..." It is certainly possible that a little wine can help a man come out of the bush, express his inner feelings and get relief from his emotional isolation. Then he will be able to relate with his wife, and thus find ultimate happiness.
A woman does not have a problem expressing herself verbally. She actually loves to express herself, both through words and through her appearance. It is important for her to be adored by her man. As John Gray writes, "A woman thrives when she feels adored and special. A man fulfills her need to be loved when he makes her feelings and needs more important than his other interests...? By accentuating her beauty through her mode of dress, she not only enjoys expressing herself, but is also better able to attract the attention of her man.
A Beautiful Garment for Her Soul
Women are drawn to beauty and harmony. Therefore, we delight in beautiful clothes. Just as wine helps a man bring out his thoughts and express himself, similarly, through her clothing, a woman expresses the creativity of her soul.
The Halachic requirement for man to wear a belt when he prays to Hashem indicates that men are required to make a conscious separation between the upper, spiritual soul and the lower, physical body. However, a woman's body is a much more refined garment for her soul. This is reflected in the beautiful dresses with which she wraps her body to become an extension of her spirit, and therefore no division is necessary. Thus, nice clothing makes her happy, because it enables her to beautify and express her innermost being.
The Beauty of Simplicity and the Women of the Land
The Gemara (Pesachim 109a) discusses the kinds of clothing that makes women happy. Rabbi Yoseph relates that the women of Babylon enjoy multicolored garments; whereas, the women of the land of Israel prefer clothes made of white, ironed linen. Representing those who are in exile, the women of Babylon express themselves in fancy, multicolored robes. In contrast, the women of the land of Israel are happy to cover themselves with simple linen dresses.
From my experience living both in exile and in Israel, I have noticed that this difference of attire still is in effect. Multicolored fancy garments are an expression of the fragmentation of exile; whereas, the closeness to the One and only G-d in Israel is expressed through simplicity. The color white derives from blending all the colors in perfect harmony, letting the light shine from each of them equally. Therefore, in the land of Israel, women do not need fancy garments to impress and surpass anyone. Our unity with each-other and with G-d can be expressed through simplicity.
"And you shall rejoice in your festival, you and your son, and your daughter, and your man-servant, and your maid-servant, and the Levite, the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, who are within your gates." (Devarim 16:14)
?Rejoicing in your festival? is a celebration in Jerusalem, involving partaking of the sacrifices brought to the Temple. Our sages teach that women are also obligated to rejoice in the peace offerings of joy. In addition, rejoicing must include drinking wine, dressing up in new clothes, giving out fruits and candies to the children, playing music and singing in Jerusalem. Our sages moreover explain that each kind of person needs to seek pleasure in the way most appropriate for him and her. They established that men primarily become happy through drinking wine; whereas, women enjoy wearing new clothing.
Rejoicing for the Sake of G-d
According to Sefer Chinuch, the root of the mitzva is that people need to celebrate periodically, in the same way that we need food, rest and sleep. G-d, however, desired that we dedicate this joy to His name, in order that we should find merit before Him in all our doings. Therefore, He established the pilgrim festivals to remember the miracles and the goodness that He bestows upon us. At those times, He commanded us to nourish our physical needs by celebrating with the good things in life. When our satisfaction and happiness are for the sake of G-d, we are assured that our joy will remain within the boundaries of what is proper, without going overboard.
Her Appearance as a Way of Self-Expression
In suggesting the different ways men and women achieve happiness, our sages demonstrate their perception of the fundamental difference between the sexes. Let us try to tune into the question of why men rejoice through wine, and women through beautiful clothes.
"When wine goes in, the secrets come out." (Eruvin 65b) Wine helps to express our innermost thoughts and feelings. When men get moody, they often withdraw and refuse to express their feelings. John Gray writes in Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus, "When a man is stressed he will withdraw into the cave of his mind and focus on solving a problem... At such times, he becomes increasingly distant, forgetful, unresponsive, and preoccupied in his relationships..." It is certainly possible that a little wine can help a man come out of the bush, express his inner feelings and get relief from his emotional isolation. Then he will be able to relate with his wife, and thus find ultimate happiness.
A woman does not have a problem expressing herself verbally. She actually loves to express herself, both through words and through her appearance. It is important for her to be adored by her man. As John Gray writes, "A woman thrives when she feels adored and special. A man fulfills her need to be loved when he makes her feelings and needs more important than his other interests...? By accentuating her beauty through her mode of dress, she not only enjoys expressing herself, but is also better able to attract the attention of her man.
A Beautiful Garment for Her Soul
Women are drawn to beauty and harmony. Therefore, we delight in beautiful clothes. Just as wine helps a man bring out his thoughts and express himself, similarly, through her clothing, a woman expresses the creativity of her soul.
The Halachic requirement for man to wear a belt when he prays to Hashem indicates that men are required to make a conscious separation between the upper, spiritual soul and the lower, physical body. However, a woman's body is a much more refined garment for her soul. This is reflected in the beautiful dresses with which she wraps her body to become an extension of her spirit, and therefore no division is necessary. Thus, nice clothing makes her happy, because it enables her to beautify and express her innermost being.
The Beauty of Simplicity and the Women of the Land
The Gemara (Pesachim 109a) discusses the kinds of clothing that makes women happy. Rabbi Yoseph relates that the women of Babylon enjoy multicolored garments; whereas, the women of the land of Israel prefer clothes made of white, ironed linen. Representing those who are in exile, the women of Babylon express themselves in fancy, multicolored robes. In contrast, the women of the land of Israel are happy to cover themselves with simple linen dresses.
From my experience living both in exile and in Israel, I have noticed that this difference of attire still is in effect. Multicolored fancy garments are an expression of the fragmentation of exile; whereas, the closeness to the One and only G-d in Israel is expressed through simplicity. The color white derives from blending all the colors in perfect harmony, letting the light shine from each of them equally. Therefore, in the land of Israel, women do not need fancy garments to impress and surpass anyone. Our unity with each-other and with G-d can be expressed through simplicity.