There comes a time when we must stop our moaning and groaning, and deep self-analysis, and have a laugh at ourselves. After reading the news, I realized this is one of the times.
I read about Israelis who want a gambling casino in Israel and I wondered, why do we do things half-baked?
We will have the grandest casino in Israel and call it the Hudna of Hebron, so it'll have a lucky name. The Hudna of Hebron will have the best and most colorful gambling games, good whisky, beautiful dancing girls, hilarious comedians, raunchy entertainers and wild-eyed singers, who spread joy and passion.
The Hebron Hudna will take bids from Las Vegas and Atlanta on the building and maintenance of the casino and the new hotel. With the Hudna in effect, we'll accept bids from the numerous American Mafias on how to run our casino and hire and train employees, bouncers and Arabs - lest they get bored and become suicide-bombers. There are so many mobs, they will have to compete for the Hudna Casino contract. The American Indians might want to rush their bids, to provide tips on gambling and 24/7 used car lots. The Jerusalem Mayor, Uri Lupolianski, may not be invited to the grand opening of the Hudna of Hebron - he might get too excited.
Along with retail shops at the Hudna of Hebron, a brokerage will open by the name of The Pentagon, which will encourage legal bribes or bets on terrorists and, depending how long the Hebron Hudna holds up, might urge shareholders to make a killing and buy shares of Gaza Funeral Homes and Jenin Explosive Belts.
I read about our good Jewish police officers receiving special training on how to properly evict the Jews of Judea from their Jewish homes. The Jewish State of Israel hired a special psychiatrist to gently explain to our Jewish police force the reasons their actions are harmful to Jewish children and their parents, who should at least receive notice of their upcoming evictions in the future, instead of being dragged out of their homes at midnight, as if they are terrorists. One policeman managed to whimper his truth and stated the Israeli police do not enjoy such evictions, and thus will continue to do them in secret, in order to avoid the masses of true believers, "the ideologues", whom the pornographic press follow around, wishing to leap at each Israeli insanity and each Jewish tragedy.
Meir, a wise man, told me he wouldn't make one bet on the Hudna of Hebron, saying the Hudna is a not-so-complicated, bankrupt idea. Meir simply asked, "Does not Arafat, Inc. fear the settlers more than Sharon? What other sector of the Israeli population is as firm and confident in their natural and loving desire to serve Hashem and settle the Land? Why should Arafat, Inc. sacrifice more Arabs when he has Sharon doing the dirty work of ridding the settlers from the Land?" asked Meir. "And at the same time as settlers are being sent to prison, Arafat, Inc. has demanded of Sharon the immediate release of terror prisoners with and without blood on their hands."
The Pentagon Brokerage at the Hudna of Hebron, in order to stock up, is asking for the names of the soon-to-be released Arab terrorist prisoners. And for the name of the Israeli reserve soldier that Brigade Commander Col. Haggai Mordechai sentenced to jail. The crime of the Jewish reserve soldier was that he took part in a Jewish prayer service at the Machpelah Cave in Hebron, which offended the muezzin - the one who sounds the loud, wailing call for Moslem prayers.
I read about Israelis who want a gambling casino in Israel and I wondered, why do we do things half-baked?
We will have the grandest casino in Israel and call it the Hudna of Hebron, so it'll have a lucky name. The Hudna of Hebron will have the best and most colorful gambling games, good whisky, beautiful dancing girls, hilarious comedians, raunchy entertainers and wild-eyed singers, who spread joy and passion.
The Hebron Hudna will take bids from Las Vegas and Atlanta on the building and maintenance of the casino and the new hotel. With the Hudna in effect, we'll accept bids from the numerous American Mafias on how to run our casino and hire and train employees, bouncers and Arabs - lest they get bored and become suicide-bombers. There are so many mobs, they will have to compete for the Hudna Casino contract. The American Indians might want to rush their bids, to provide tips on gambling and 24/7 used car lots. The Jerusalem Mayor, Uri Lupolianski, may not be invited to the grand opening of the Hudna of Hebron - he might get too excited.
Along with retail shops at the Hudna of Hebron, a brokerage will open by the name of The Pentagon, which will encourage legal bribes or bets on terrorists and, depending how long the Hebron Hudna holds up, might urge shareholders to make a killing and buy shares of Gaza Funeral Homes and Jenin Explosive Belts.
I read about our good Jewish police officers receiving special training on how to properly evict the Jews of Judea from their Jewish homes. The Jewish State of Israel hired a special psychiatrist to gently explain to our Jewish police force the reasons their actions are harmful to Jewish children and their parents, who should at least receive notice of their upcoming evictions in the future, instead of being dragged out of their homes at midnight, as if they are terrorists. One policeman managed to whimper his truth and stated the Israeli police do not enjoy such evictions, and thus will continue to do them in secret, in order to avoid the masses of true believers, "the ideologues", whom the pornographic press follow around, wishing to leap at each Israeli insanity and each Jewish tragedy.
Meir, a wise man, told me he wouldn't make one bet on the Hudna of Hebron, saying the Hudna is a not-so-complicated, bankrupt idea. Meir simply asked, "Does not Arafat, Inc. fear the settlers more than Sharon? What other sector of the Israeli population is as firm and confident in their natural and loving desire to serve Hashem and settle the Land? Why should Arafat, Inc. sacrifice more Arabs when he has Sharon doing the dirty work of ridding the settlers from the Land?" asked Meir. "And at the same time as settlers are being sent to prison, Arafat, Inc. has demanded of Sharon the immediate release of terror prisoners with and without blood on their hands."
The Pentagon Brokerage at the Hudna of Hebron, in order to stock up, is asking for the names of the soon-to-be released Arab terrorist prisoners. And for the name of the Israeli reserve soldier that Brigade Commander Col. Haggai Mordechai sentenced to jail. The crime of the Jewish reserve soldier was that he took part in a Jewish prayer service at the Machpelah Cave in Hebron, which offended the muezzin - the one who sounds the loud, wailing call for Moslem prayers.