?Tis the season for soul searching.
The etiology of the mourning of Sefira, the period between Passover and Shevuos, and of ?the three-weeks? has something in common. In both cases, we mourn the noxious consequences of impaired interpersonal relations. In the case of Sefira, we mourn the destruction of 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva who died in a plague, which was a punishment for showing insufficient respect for one another. During ?the three weeks?, we mourn the destruction of the Holy Temples. The first Temple was destroyed because of serious sins like wanton murder, idolatry, incest and adultery, while the second was destroyed because of interpersonal contempt.
I can understand that He would find us repugnant enough that He would cut off the channel of communication via the Holy Temple for consistently violating the worst offenses of murder, idolatry and forbidden relations. These are the only sins that Hashem demands that we be killed rather than commit.
But what is so bad about disrespecting or showing contempt for other Jews? Whole political parties' entire platform is contempt for particular segments of our population. Do you know anyone that does not disrespect or have contempt for any other segments of Jewish society? Everyone feels justified in hating a particular religious, cultural, or racial group. We all do it, so what's so bad about it? Why does this so intensely disgust Hashem?
It is because we are all self-hating Jews who are at some level ashamed of our Jewishness. As a child of survivor immigrants growing up in America, rather than priding myself with having resilient and resourceful parents, who were able to survive the horrors, I was ashamed of their accent, of their speaking Yiddish instead of English, and of their not being fully American like my friends' parents. Several times, my friends' parents made snide comments about "greeners" or survivors that reinforced this shame.
Although I went to religious day schools, the gentile population made me very self-conscious of my yarmulke or any action that made me different. As I matured, I internalized stereotypes of Jews, whether Fagin or Shylock, or comments by gentiles that had cordial relations with me. That part of me that was Jewish became more splintered and private. Splintered, because I believed in Hashem and wanted to become close to Him and take pride in that aspect. Yet, it had to be hidden in order to minimize ridicule. Walking to shul on Yom Kippur in my suit and sneakers never failed to elicit snickers from the passers-by. I wouldn't wear my tzitzit out because on several occasions I was asked to show the tail that all Jews have. In other words, I internalized their contempt for Jews and distanced myself from being overtly Jewish. Although Chassidic Rebbes fascinated me, I never would subject myself to the ridicule evoked by dressing like them. It was a shadow existence that was not completely salient until I moved to Israel.
Everyone has a similar story.
I now realize that for me to be ashamed of my Jewishness is to be ashamed of my G-d. For a Jew to have contempt for another Jew, he has no concept of the honor and responsibility of being Hashem's representative in the world. The only thing that makes us different is our accepting the Torah and thereby melding with Hashem. Gentiles that hate us have contempt for Hashem. Jews that despise one another similarly have contempt for Hashem.
We are a special, chosen people, the only people that had direct communication from Hashem. We are important and holy enough to warrant Hashem's prized possessions, the Torah and the Land of Israel. No self-respecting individual would part with a family heirloom. Those of us that are comfortable parting with parts of Biblical Israel have no pride in their Jewishness.
Toxic Shame is a pervasive shame that underlies some obsessions and most addictions. It festers and destroys. While normal shame keeps us from violating reasonable, shared social conventions, toxic shame causes us to violate those conventions. It escalates the level of anxiety to such unbearable levels that the violation of the convention temporarily reduces the level of anxiety, but triggers another increasingly intense cycle of shame. This snowballs until the individual is out of control, watching himself act out the tragic flaw in the Greek drama that becomes his life. Every violation that temporarily relieves anxiety only causes the toxic shame to avalanche in a never-ending cycle until the person reaches rock bottom. Any alcohol or drug addiction rehabilitation worker can tell you that it is only when he reaches rock bottom that the addict can begin to rebuild his life.
This toxic shame drives the Peace Addicts. They are ashamed of their Jewishness. Even the revisionist version of Judaism - Zionism - elicits toxic shame in the post-Zionists. It is this toxic shame that drives them to identify with the Palestinians and combat anything Jewish or even Zionist. They are most embarrassed by the religious settler, who faces mortal danger daily and shamelessly and lovingly displays his or her love for the Torah and for the Holy Land.
The post-Zionists have a fragmented and tortured self-image and, having been there, I pity them. The crystal clear folly of making peace with the terrorist Palestinians should have reduced the peace addicts to rock bottom despair. They are now free to do some soul searching, redefine themselves and replace the toxic shame with ironclad pride.
Any Jew with a modicum of self-respect would be disgusted by the blatant anti-Semitic "NO JEWS ALLOWED" policy of the Bush-Powell bully's Roadmap. Their incessant allusions to removing "illegal" outposts are revolting. Why should a Jew be precluded from living in the West Bank? Hundreds of Jewish families have bought land in the West Bank, but are prohibited to step foot on their own land only because they are Jews. An Israeli Arab may move onto a farm he purchased in the West Bank. An American citizen that is of the Moslem or Christian faith may move into the West Bank. Only Jews are barred. In Orwellian newspeak, illegal laws have determined any Jewish farm to be an illegal outpost. The farm is not illegal. The law is.
I wonder if offered the Torah today, would we, as a people, choose to be Jews. Most of us are ashamed of our Jewishness and thereby ashamed of Him. We are infused with toxic shame and our pathetic lives are reduced to the character flaws in Greek tragedies. Because we have so much contempt for one another, the architect of history has arranged contingencies so that no Jew can even step foot on the Temple Mount. Because we are divided, Hashem is threatening to divide the Holy Land.
I implore all Jews to take pride in their Jewishness. Proud Jews would combat the disastrous Roadmap with all their might and fulfill Hashem's directive to occupy the "occupied territories."
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Shmuel Neumann, Ph.D., is actively involved in creating communities for English?speaking olim, and in an emigration program for Palestinians. He currently resides in the Shomron.
The etiology of the mourning of Sefira, the period between Passover and Shevuos, and of ?the three-weeks? has something in common. In both cases, we mourn the noxious consequences of impaired interpersonal relations. In the case of Sefira, we mourn the destruction of 24,000 students of Rabbi Akiva who died in a plague, which was a punishment for showing insufficient respect for one another. During ?the three weeks?, we mourn the destruction of the Holy Temples. The first Temple was destroyed because of serious sins like wanton murder, idolatry, incest and adultery, while the second was destroyed because of interpersonal contempt.
I can understand that He would find us repugnant enough that He would cut off the channel of communication via the Holy Temple for consistently violating the worst offenses of murder, idolatry and forbidden relations. These are the only sins that Hashem demands that we be killed rather than commit.
But what is so bad about disrespecting or showing contempt for other Jews? Whole political parties' entire platform is contempt for particular segments of our population. Do you know anyone that does not disrespect or have contempt for any other segments of Jewish society? Everyone feels justified in hating a particular religious, cultural, or racial group. We all do it, so what's so bad about it? Why does this so intensely disgust Hashem?
It is because we are all self-hating Jews who are at some level ashamed of our Jewishness. As a child of survivor immigrants growing up in America, rather than priding myself with having resilient and resourceful parents, who were able to survive the horrors, I was ashamed of their accent, of their speaking Yiddish instead of English, and of their not being fully American like my friends' parents. Several times, my friends' parents made snide comments about "greeners" or survivors that reinforced this shame.
Although I went to religious day schools, the gentile population made me very self-conscious of my yarmulke or any action that made me different. As I matured, I internalized stereotypes of Jews, whether Fagin or Shylock, or comments by gentiles that had cordial relations with me. That part of me that was Jewish became more splintered and private. Splintered, because I believed in Hashem and wanted to become close to Him and take pride in that aspect. Yet, it had to be hidden in order to minimize ridicule. Walking to shul on Yom Kippur in my suit and sneakers never failed to elicit snickers from the passers-by. I wouldn't wear my tzitzit out because on several occasions I was asked to show the tail that all Jews have. In other words, I internalized their contempt for Jews and distanced myself from being overtly Jewish. Although Chassidic Rebbes fascinated me, I never would subject myself to the ridicule evoked by dressing like them. It was a shadow existence that was not completely salient until I moved to Israel.
Everyone has a similar story.
I now realize that for me to be ashamed of my Jewishness is to be ashamed of my G-d. For a Jew to have contempt for another Jew, he has no concept of the honor and responsibility of being Hashem's representative in the world. The only thing that makes us different is our accepting the Torah and thereby melding with Hashem. Gentiles that hate us have contempt for Hashem. Jews that despise one another similarly have contempt for Hashem.
We are a special, chosen people, the only people that had direct communication from Hashem. We are important and holy enough to warrant Hashem's prized possessions, the Torah and the Land of Israel. No self-respecting individual would part with a family heirloom. Those of us that are comfortable parting with parts of Biblical Israel have no pride in their Jewishness.
Toxic Shame is a pervasive shame that underlies some obsessions and most addictions. It festers and destroys. While normal shame keeps us from violating reasonable, shared social conventions, toxic shame causes us to violate those conventions. It escalates the level of anxiety to such unbearable levels that the violation of the convention temporarily reduces the level of anxiety, but triggers another increasingly intense cycle of shame. This snowballs until the individual is out of control, watching himself act out the tragic flaw in the Greek drama that becomes his life. Every violation that temporarily relieves anxiety only causes the toxic shame to avalanche in a never-ending cycle until the person reaches rock bottom. Any alcohol or drug addiction rehabilitation worker can tell you that it is only when he reaches rock bottom that the addict can begin to rebuild his life.
This toxic shame drives the Peace Addicts. They are ashamed of their Jewishness. Even the revisionist version of Judaism - Zionism - elicits toxic shame in the post-Zionists. It is this toxic shame that drives them to identify with the Palestinians and combat anything Jewish or even Zionist. They are most embarrassed by the religious settler, who faces mortal danger daily and shamelessly and lovingly displays his or her love for the Torah and for the Holy Land.
The post-Zionists have a fragmented and tortured self-image and, having been there, I pity them. The crystal clear folly of making peace with the terrorist Palestinians should have reduced the peace addicts to rock bottom despair. They are now free to do some soul searching, redefine themselves and replace the toxic shame with ironclad pride.
Any Jew with a modicum of self-respect would be disgusted by the blatant anti-Semitic "NO JEWS ALLOWED" policy of the Bush-Powell bully's Roadmap. Their incessant allusions to removing "illegal" outposts are revolting. Why should a Jew be precluded from living in the West Bank? Hundreds of Jewish families have bought land in the West Bank, but are prohibited to step foot on their own land only because they are Jews. An Israeli Arab may move onto a farm he purchased in the West Bank. An American citizen that is of the Moslem or Christian faith may move into the West Bank. Only Jews are barred. In Orwellian newspeak, illegal laws have determined any Jewish farm to be an illegal outpost. The farm is not illegal. The law is.
I wonder if offered the Torah today, would we, as a people, choose to be Jews. Most of us are ashamed of our Jewishness and thereby ashamed of Him. We are infused with toxic shame and our pathetic lives are reduced to the character flaws in Greek tragedies. Because we have so much contempt for one another, the architect of history has arranged contingencies so that no Jew can even step foot on the Temple Mount. Because we are divided, Hashem is threatening to divide the Holy Land.
I implore all Jews to take pride in their Jewishness. Proud Jews would combat the disastrous Roadmap with all their might and fulfill Hashem's directive to occupy the "occupied territories."
--------------------------------------------------------
Shmuel Neumann, Ph.D., is actively involved in creating communities for English?speaking olim, and in an emigration program for Palestinians. He currently resides in the Shomron.