Magicians are sworn to keep their secrets. And for good reason. It?s a matter of self-preservation. Once the trick is revealed to outsiders, their "secrets" are shown to be so obvious, so mundane, they reveal nothing but our own embarrassing gullibility. Once you understand the simple mechanics behind a mysterious card trick or how a woman is sawed in half, the magic is gone and not only can everyone see how it?s done, but the need for a magician evaporates. Merlin is out of work. And not only Merlin, but his pretty assistant, the lighting crew, the make-up man, the opening act, the orchestra, the PR guy, the whole darn magic industry.
This principle holds true, in spades, for The Fabulous and Mystifying Middle East Problem, the longest running levitation act in showbiz history. I?m sure you?ve seen it. Probably more than once. It?s a huge, self-perpetuating enterprise, an extravaganza, that employs thousands of soldiers, diplomats, politicians, potentates, journalists, defense contractors, medical professionals, clergymen, undertakers, analysts and spies. Even after more than 50 years on the boards, it still fills huge theaters and fascinates audiences around the globe from the UN in New York to the ballrooms of Oslo. And it is truly an incredible stunt because it?s built entirely around just one illusion - millions of recalcitrant Arab refugees dumped into the laps of the Jews.
What accounts for the unprecedented success of The Fabulous and Mystifying Middle East Problem? It?s a classic. First and foremost, for the sake of showmanship, the difficulty of The Fabulous and Mystifying Middle East Problem has been dramatically exaggerated: My goodness, the whole world is against these few Jews, so what?s to be done with the Arab multitudes? Surely they?re not going to disappear! Thus, a whole region of the world is kept suspended in midair. Wow!
But presto! Chango! the Arabs can and will disappear. Nature will be turned on its head and the good will drive out the bad.
Oooh, how is that possible? Simple. Right now, before your very eyes, I?m going to violate the magician?s fraternal code and reveal the "secret " to one and all.
Watch closely. Nothing up my sleeve. Are you ready? Here?s the trick. The Arabs don?t want to live among the Jews! Yes, that?s right! They absolutely abhor the thought of it! It makes them cringe and the possibility keeps them up at night. They are literally repulsed by the idea - have been since The Beginning. Arabs react to us like a vampire does to a cross. Only worse. They find the presence of Jews so intolerable, so unbearable that they literally consider suicide - death (!) - preferable to coexisting with us.
To the average schnook out in the audience - gasp! - it looks like there is only one way out of this maze: the Jews, this puny pariah nation, have got to move aside, vanish, and give the Arabs their space. Ah, but the Wizard sees something entirely different, counter-intuitive, that produces the same irenic result: the Arab?s primal aversion to Jews works equally in two directions.
Although small in number, if the Jews not only hold their ground, but move en masse with conviction, and permanence, into the Jewish territory the Arabs want for themselves - poof! - lo and behold, it?s the Arabs, and not the Jews, who will disappear! In due course, as if by magic, they will either trickle back to their true homes in the naturally Jewless Arab lands, or head for fresh opportunities in the wide open spaces of the multicultural New World. Maybe an exceptional few, just a few, will even decide to live quietly, peacefully and apart in the Jewish State, like the once-fearsome Apaches and Mohawks do in America. Then, secure in their home, Jews will give them a warm welcome. Say the magic words, "Shalom Alechem, Aleikum Salaam."
I know this revelation will be considered traitorous by some prestidigitators and put a lot of talented people on the unemployment line. My sincere apologies, but I couldn?t help myself. The Fabulous and Mystifying Middle East Problem was an act that was getting stale, and I grew tired of watching it over and over.
Well, that?s all there is to it, folks. Wasn?t that amazingly simple, now that you?ve had a look behind the curtain to see how it?s really done?
Please exit to your right. Show?s over.
--------------------------------------------------------
Dovid Ben Chaim writes from New York. He can be reached at dbc@myway.com.
This principle holds true, in spades, for The Fabulous and Mystifying Middle East Problem, the longest running levitation act in showbiz history. I?m sure you?ve seen it. Probably more than once. It?s a huge, self-perpetuating enterprise, an extravaganza, that employs thousands of soldiers, diplomats, politicians, potentates, journalists, defense contractors, medical professionals, clergymen, undertakers, analysts and spies. Even after more than 50 years on the boards, it still fills huge theaters and fascinates audiences around the globe from the UN in New York to the ballrooms of Oslo. And it is truly an incredible stunt because it?s built entirely around just one illusion - millions of recalcitrant Arab refugees dumped into the laps of the Jews.
What accounts for the unprecedented success of The Fabulous and Mystifying Middle East Problem? It?s a classic. First and foremost, for the sake of showmanship, the difficulty of The Fabulous and Mystifying Middle East Problem has been dramatically exaggerated: My goodness, the whole world is against these few Jews, so what?s to be done with the Arab multitudes? Surely they?re not going to disappear! Thus, a whole region of the world is kept suspended in midair. Wow!
But presto! Chango! the Arabs can and will disappear. Nature will be turned on its head and the good will drive out the bad.
Oooh, how is that possible? Simple. Right now, before your very eyes, I?m going to violate the magician?s fraternal code and reveal the "secret " to one and all.
Watch closely. Nothing up my sleeve. Are you ready? Here?s the trick. The Arabs don?t want to live among the Jews! Yes, that?s right! They absolutely abhor the thought of it! It makes them cringe and the possibility keeps them up at night. They are literally repulsed by the idea - have been since The Beginning. Arabs react to us like a vampire does to a cross. Only worse. They find the presence of Jews so intolerable, so unbearable that they literally consider suicide - death (!) - preferable to coexisting with us.
To the average schnook out in the audience - gasp! - it looks like there is only one way out of this maze: the Jews, this puny pariah nation, have got to move aside, vanish, and give the Arabs their space. Ah, but the Wizard sees something entirely different, counter-intuitive, that produces the same irenic result: the Arab?s primal aversion to Jews works equally in two directions.
Although small in number, if the Jews not only hold their ground, but move en masse with conviction, and permanence, into the Jewish territory the Arabs want for themselves - poof! - lo and behold, it?s the Arabs, and not the Jews, who will disappear! In due course, as if by magic, they will either trickle back to their true homes in the naturally Jewless Arab lands, or head for fresh opportunities in the wide open spaces of the multicultural New World. Maybe an exceptional few, just a few, will even decide to live quietly, peacefully and apart in the Jewish State, like the once-fearsome Apaches and Mohawks do in America. Then, secure in their home, Jews will give them a warm welcome. Say the magic words, "Shalom Alechem, Aleikum Salaam."
I know this revelation will be considered traitorous by some prestidigitators and put a lot of talented people on the unemployment line. My sincere apologies, but I couldn?t help myself. The Fabulous and Mystifying Middle East Problem was an act that was getting stale, and I grew tired of watching it over and over.
Well, that?s all there is to it, folks. Wasn?t that amazingly simple, now that you?ve had a look behind the curtain to see how it?s really done?
Please exit to your right. Show?s over.
--------------------------------------------------------
Dovid Ben Chaim writes from New York. He can be reached at dbc@myway.com.