Judaism treats sexuality as a natural part of human personality and life. Unlike other religions that somehow view celibacy as a goal of purity and sexual abstinence as a sign of religious piety, Judaism sees in a satisfying and natural sexual relationship the basis of a stable and successful marriage. However, Judaism does not condone sexual relationships outside of the situation of marriage. Such sexual liaisons, which are basically without permanence, shared life goals or true legitimacy, are destructive to family life and reduce the concept of physical intimacy to its most primitive, animalistic form. Sexual intimacy is viewed in Judaism as an act that is to be sanctified. Just as Jews sanctify the act of eating food through the recitation of blessings before eating and of grace after eating, so too, the physical aspect of sexual intimacy requires a sacred dimension to it as well. Therefore, promiscuity, adultery, womanizing, prostitution, and all other forms of wanton sexual behavior are judged to be inherently wrong, improper and forbidden in Jewish tradition and life. The victimization of anyone, man, woman or child, in pursuing sexual pleasure or behavior is expressly forbidden in Judaism and is considered a heinous and particularly offensive transgression of Torah norms and values. Sexual relations are not only to be consensual, and even then only within the framework of marriage, but they are to be tinged with holiness and a sense of true personal bonding and the creation of a lasting mutually satisfying relationship as well.
In order to accomplish the attachment of this necessary sense of the sacred into the most earthy and apparently unholy human act, the Torah created a mechanism that guarantees passion and nobility in the fulfillment of physical intimacy within marriage. The concept of taharat hamishpcha - family purity - has stood as the basic bedrock in Jewish marriage from Biblical times until today. There is a period of approximately twelve days occurring every month, and coinciding with the onset of menstruation and thereafter, when the married couple abstains from physical intimacy and marital relations. At the end of this period of days, the wife immerses herself in the purifying waters of a mikva - a pool of water fed from natural sources such as rainwater, springs, melted snow, etc. - and then returns to the conjugal life of marriage. This mechanism allows for a constant renewal of love and feeling for one another in the marriage, as well as making the act of physical intimacy one of commitment, sensitivity and passion and not merely lust. The strength of the Jewish home was always built upon this most holy and private cycle of the relationship between spouses. In my experience as a rabbi, I have found that this concept of taharat hamishpacha and its practice has saved many a foundering marriage and has strengthened all spousal relationships. It is not a magic bullet to cure all marital strife and discord. But it certainly allows for a strong base for consideration and cooperation between the spouses. It is a powerful antidote to much of the sexual dysfunction that marks the Western world today.
Physical intimacy is to be viewed within the lens of family and Jewish continuity. Judaism does not allow any human activity to be viewed in a vacuum, purely by itself, so to speak. There is a general framework into which our life and behavior has to somehow fit. As such, the Torah and Jewish tradition oppose any sexual behavior that is anti-family and that does not promote any generational continuity, such as homosexuality. Sexual behavior is always a private matter. But it is not so private that Judaism does not impose its standards, norms and goals on that most private of human acts as well. The goal of Judaism to create a "kingdom of priests and a holy nation" remains a paramount interest of Jewish life. Therefore, the holiness of our nation is also dependant upon the holiness of our families and even our most intimate behavior.
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Rabbi Berel Wein, noted author and lecturer, is founder of the Destiny Foundation, dedicated to educating Jews about their historical and ethical heritage.
In order to accomplish the attachment of this necessary sense of the sacred into the most earthy and apparently unholy human act, the Torah created a mechanism that guarantees passion and nobility in the fulfillment of physical intimacy within marriage. The concept of taharat hamishpcha - family purity - has stood as the basic bedrock in Jewish marriage from Biblical times until today. There is a period of approximately twelve days occurring every month, and coinciding with the onset of menstruation and thereafter, when the married couple abstains from physical intimacy and marital relations. At the end of this period of days, the wife immerses herself in the purifying waters of a mikva - a pool of water fed from natural sources such as rainwater, springs, melted snow, etc. - and then returns to the conjugal life of marriage. This mechanism allows for a constant renewal of love and feeling for one another in the marriage, as well as making the act of physical intimacy one of commitment, sensitivity and passion and not merely lust. The strength of the Jewish home was always built upon this most holy and private cycle of the relationship between spouses. In my experience as a rabbi, I have found that this concept of taharat hamishpacha and its practice has saved many a foundering marriage and has strengthened all spousal relationships. It is not a magic bullet to cure all marital strife and discord. But it certainly allows for a strong base for consideration and cooperation between the spouses. It is a powerful antidote to much of the sexual dysfunction that marks the Western world today.
Physical intimacy is to be viewed within the lens of family and Jewish continuity. Judaism does not allow any human activity to be viewed in a vacuum, purely by itself, so to speak. There is a general framework into which our life and behavior has to somehow fit. As such, the Torah and Jewish tradition oppose any sexual behavior that is anti-family and that does not promote any generational continuity, such as homosexuality. Sexual behavior is always a private matter. But it is not so private that Judaism does not impose its standards, norms and goals on that most private of human acts as well. The goal of Judaism to create a "kingdom of priests and a holy nation" remains a paramount interest of Jewish life. Therefore, the holiness of our nation is also dependant upon the holiness of our families and even our most intimate behavior.
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Rabbi Berel Wein, noted author and lecturer, is founder of the Destiny Foundation, dedicated to educating Jews about their historical and ethical heritage.