Daliah scheduled me for the afternoon shift yesterday. "You start at noon and finish at four o'clock", she told me, "Philip will relieve you."
I got a little lost inside the Tel Hashomer Hospital complex. Like a true Israeli, I first start operating the device and only later read the instructions. I first set out on my journey and then tried to remember Daliah's directions. There was also the minor issue of my car being decorated with the sticker "Kill Arafat Now". I wasn't sure what response I would get from passers-by.
I finally arrived, out of breath, in a hurry to relieve David, who showed no signs of impatience. I had prepared myself psychologically for the difficult sight that I now saw and didn't let my feelings show. Steve smiled at me with what remained of his face and raised his hand as though he wanted to shake my hand. Like a bull in a china shop, I gripped his hand tightly and immediately released it in panic when I saw how his entire body was writhing in pain. I felt like an idiot. David smiled and took me aside and explained what was expected of me.
?You had a hard shift," Steve said to David, who was about to leave.
?On the contrary,? David replied, "We made some important achievements".
David had shifted Steve's bed to the X-ray room during his shift and took the opportunity to make a quick visit to Tzippi, Steve's daughter, who is lying paralyzed in an adjacent wing.
?Every movement is a nightmare for him, but this was very important,? David told me.
I had never exchanged with Steve more than a few polite words between neighbors back in Karnei Shomron, but the murder of his wife Techiya and the grave injuries sustained by Steve and their daughter Tzippi turned all of us into one big family. In the next bed, lay a man who was completely paralyzed. A Philippino caretaker stood next to him, turning the pages of the newspaper.
?Steve doesn't need a Philippino helper,? I said to myself.
We remained alone. Steve lay there, with a long line of stitches crossing the center of his body. The surgeons were forced to remove some of his internal organs, as they had been torn apart by bullets fired by the Arabs. A bullet had smashed his upper lip and teeth. His tongue had been stitched up. His hands are covered with stitches and scars and he cannot move his legs for the time being.
It was amazing to hear him speaking so clearly.
"What do you have to say?" he asked me when we were alone.
I looked at him, and quoted the biblical verse, ?The learned one will remain silent at such a time.?
?It's not fair,? I said to myself, "I write columns in newspapers, lecture all over the country and now my neighbor wants to hear what I think. Relax. It won't help if you sound depressed,? I continued telling myself.
"But despite that, I will talk," I told Steve, "So that probably means that I am not that learned," I added with a smile.
"You know," I said to him, "after the murder of Techiya, the entire settlement was in a state of shock. One day, I was sitting with my wife, Tzippi, and I said something to her. She replied that I must put what I just said in writing and publish it. ?It's something important and everyone should hear it,? she added. I haven't yet done so, but I want you to hear it," I told Steve.
"No-one can explain why the Almighty chose Techiya, the angel of the settlement. No-one can understand why your daughter Tzippi, you and your family should be punished in such a way. No-one can explain it and it?s better that no-one even attempts to. But in the cold and bitter light of history, it appears that that through your sacrifice, you have saved the Jewish people."
"You mean that we are atoning for the sins?" Steve asked.
"Certainly not!" I answer vehemently, "I don't understand a thing about accounting of sins and commandments. I'm not a rabbi, nor a preacher and I'm not talking about atonement. I'm talking about a simple way of looking at reality. You and Techiya saved me and my wife Tzippi and the entire Jewish people."
"Explain," Steve begged.
"A year ago, Israel was about to hand over to the Arabs the Temple Mount and Jerusalem, uproot the settlements and give up everything. At that time, I stood with my dear friends Yehuda Etzion and Prof. Hillel Weiss in protest near Lions' Gate outside the Old City in Jerusalem. We barely kept up this demonstration. It was impossible to find people to join us. In my humble opinion, from my experience in public protests, Barak would have had no difficulty in carrying out his plans. He would have encountered no real protests, because the Jewish people was paralyzed. We held up a sign saying ?If there is no Temple Mount, there will be no home.? And we knew that this was really the truth.
?Had Arafat, Heaven forbid, done the simple and logical thing, that which everyone expected him to do, and simply taken that which Barak offered him, then no home would have remained. Nowhere. Not even in Tel Aviv. The State of Israel would have begun an accelerated process of disintegration and a unified Arab front would have been created from Iraq to the outskirts of Kfar Saba. It was absolutely clear to us that a withdrawal from Jerusalem, from Judea and Samaria, would have rapidly brought about the end, G-d forbid.
?But G-d saw that we were incapable of halting the process, and replaced the impending total holocaust with the private tragedy of your family and the other victims of the past year. The general suicide was stopped with your flesh.
"Why you? I haven't a clue and we'll never know, but what is clear is that you have saved us. For me, you are like a soldier who saved the battle and lies wounded in the hospital. You don't have to thank me. I have to thank you".
"Can you find out what's happening with lunch?" Steve asked.
I went and brought his meal. I fed him a few spoons of mashed potatoes and a piece of a meatball through the gap between his smashed lip and his sewn-up tongue.
"Can you ask them to raise the bed a bit to a sitting position? It's difficult for me to eat like this."
"I am sorry Steve, but the doctors don't allow it," I said.
"An angle of 15 degrees is all I ask."
"These Americans," I thought to myself, "There he is lying all smashed up, and he is talking about degrees and percentages."
"You know something," Steve said to me suddenly, "at the entrance to the hospital, there is a wall in memory of Yitzhak Rabin. It would be interesting to know what he would say if he could see me now."
I laugh out loud, and feed him some more potatoes.
"I didn't even notice. I rushed in. But there is a new sticker out: ?It's all because of you, chaver (friend).? Perhaps we should add the sticker to the memorial wall."
"How much have I eaten already?" Steve asks.
He feels strongly about following the doctors orders to get well quickly. He can only see the bottom of the plate, so I tell him how much is left. It all takes a long time. Steve gets tired and asks that I call the medical staff to change his position.
"I have a copy of the Mishna here," Steve says, pointing to a small shelf from which pictures of his children are hanging, "Can you open it for me? I stopped learning when I was hit and I want to catch up on the Mishnas that I have missed since. There is a chart indicating the daily study page."
I find the table and ask him, "What date was the attack?"
"On the 18th of Av," Steve replies.
"Just a moment. If so, you reached Kidushin, Part A, Mishna 9."
I start reading aloud the Mishna and the commentary. The end of the section, Mishna 10 reads: "Anyone who observes even just one commandment, is rewarded for it. His life is prolonged, and he inherits the Land (of Israel)."
I cry within and continue to read the Mishna aloud in a seemingly unemotional way.
"Now I want to sleep a little," Steve says, "Wake me in another twenty minutes. I don't want to sleep too much."
Philip arrived early to take over from me.
"See you later," Steve says to me.
"Thank you," I reply.
"Thank you."
-----------
Moshe Feiglin, founder of Manhigut Yehudit, The Jewish Leadership Movement, led the campaign of mass civil disobedience against the Oslo accords in 1995. Feiglin is currently championing the registration of thousands of new members to the Manhigut Yehudit bloc in Likud to create a Judaism-based leadership for the State of Israel.
I got a little lost inside the Tel Hashomer Hospital complex. Like a true Israeli, I first start operating the device and only later read the instructions. I first set out on my journey and then tried to remember Daliah's directions. There was also the minor issue of my car being decorated with the sticker "Kill Arafat Now". I wasn't sure what response I would get from passers-by.
I finally arrived, out of breath, in a hurry to relieve David, who showed no signs of impatience. I had prepared myself psychologically for the difficult sight that I now saw and didn't let my feelings show. Steve smiled at me with what remained of his face and raised his hand as though he wanted to shake my hand. Like a bull in a china shop, I gripped his hand tightly and immediately released it in panic when I saw how his entire body was writhing in pain. I felt like an idiot. David smiled and took me aside and explained what was expected of me.
?You had a hard shift," Steve said to David, who was about to leave.
?On the contrary,? David replied, "We made some important achievements".
David had shifted Steve's bed to the X-ray room during his shift and took the opportunity to make a quick visit to Tzippi, Steve's daughter, who is lying paralyzed in an adjacent wing.
?Every movement is a nightmare for him, but this was very important,? David told me.
I had never exchanged with Steve more than a few polite words between neighbors back in Karnei Shomron, but the murder of his wife Techiya and the grave injuries sustained by Steve and their daughter Tzippi turned all of us into one big family. In the next bed, lay a man who was completely paralyzed. A Philippino caretaker stood next to him, turning the pages of the newspaper.
?Steve doesn't need a Philippino helper,? I said to myself.
We remained alone. Steve lay there, with a long line of stitches crossing the center of his body. The surgeons were forced to remove some of his internal organs, as they had been torn apart by bullets fired by the Arabs. A bullet had smashed his upper lip and teeth. His tongue had been stitched up. His hands are covered with stitches and scars and he cannot move his legs for the time being.
It was amazing to hear him speaking so clearly.
"What do you have to say?" he asked me when we were alone.
I looked at him, and quoted the biblical verse, ?The learned one will remain silent at such a time.?
?It's not fair,? I said to myself, "I write columns in newspapers, lecture all over the country and now my neighbor wants to hear what I think. Relax. It won't help if you sound depressed,? I continued telling myself.
"But despite that, I will talk," I told Steve, "So that probably means that I am not that learned," I added with a smile.
"You know," I said to him, "after the murder of Techiya, the entire settlement was in a state of shock. One day, I was sitting with my wife, Tzippi, and I said something to her. She replied that I must put what I just said in writing and publish it. ?It's something important and everyone should hear it,? she added. I haven't yet done so, but I want you to hear it," I told Steve.
"No-one can explain why the Almighty chose Techiya, the angel of the settlement. No-one can understand why your daughter Tzippi, you and your family should be punished in such a way. No-one can explain it and it?s better that no-one even attempts to. But in the cold and bitter light of history, it appears that that through your sacrifice, you have saved the Jewish people."
"You mean that we are atoning for the sins?" Steve asked.
"Certainly not!" I answer vehemently, "I don't understand a thing about accounting of sins and commandments. I'm not a rabbi, nor a preacher and I'm not talking about atonement. I'm talking about a simple way of looking at reality. You and Techiya saved me and my wife Tzippi and the entire Jewish people."
"Explain," Steve begged.
"A year ago, Israel was about to hand over to the Arabs the Temple Mount and Jerusalem, uproot the settlements and give up everything. At that time, I stood with my dear friends Yehuda Etzion and Prof. Hillel Weiss in protest near Lions' Gate outside the Old City in Jerusalem. We barely kept up this demonstration. It was impossible to find people to join us. In my humble opinion, from my experience in public protests, Barak would have had no difficulty in carrying out his plans. He would have encountered no real protests, because the Jewish people was paralyzed. We held up a sign saying ?If there is no Temple Mount, there will be no home.? And we knew that this was really the truth.
?Had Arafat, Heaven forbid, done the simple and logical thing, that which everyone expected him to do, and simply taken that which Barak offered him, then no home would have remained. Nowhere. Not even in Tel Aviv. The State of Israel would have begun an accelerated process of disintegration and a unified Arab front would have been created from Iraq to the outskirts of Kfar Saba. It was absolutely clear to us that a withdrawal from Jerusalem, from Judea and Samaria, would have rapidly brought about the end, G-d forbid.
?But G-d saw that we were incapable of halting the process, and replaced the impending total holocaust with the private tragedy of your family and the other victims of the past year. The general suicide was stopped with your flesh.
"Why you? I haven't a clue and we'll never know, but what is clear is that you have saved us. For me, you are like a soldier who saved the battle and lies wounded in the hospital. You don't have to thank me. I have to thank you".
"Can you find out what's happening with lunch?" Steve asked.
I went and brought his meal. I fed him a few spoons of mashed potatoes and a piece of a meatball through the gap between his smashed lip and his sewn-up tongue.
"Can you ask them to raise the bed a bit to a sitting position? It's difficult for me to eat like this."
"I am sorry Steve, but the doctors don't allow it," I said.
"An angle of 15 degrees is all I ask."
"These Americans," I thought to myself, "There he is lying all smashed up, and he is talking about degrees and percentages."
"You know something," Steve said to me suddenly, "at the entrance to the hospital, there is a wall in memory of Yitzhak Rabin. It would be interesting to know what he would say if he could see me now."
I laugh out loud, and feed him some more potatoes.
"I didn't even notice. I rushed in. But there is a new sticker out: ?It's all because of you, chaver (friend).? Perhaps we should add the sticker to the memorial wall."
"How much have I eaten already?" Steve asks.
He feels strongly about following the doctors orders to get well quickly. He can only see the bottom of the plate, so I tell him how much is left. It all takes a long time. Steve gets tired and asks that I call the medical staff to change his position.
"I have a copy of the Mishna here," Steve says, pointing to a small shelf from which pictures of his children are hanging, "Can you open it for me? I stopped learning when I was hit and I want to catch up on the Mishnas that I have missed since. There is a chart indicating the daily study page."
I find the table and ask him, "What date was the attack?"
"On the 18th of Av," Steve replies.
"Just a moment. If so, you reached Kidushin, Part A, Mishna 9."
I start reading aloud the Mishna and the commentary. The end of the section, Mishna 10 reads: "Anyone who observes even just one commandment, is rewarded for it. His life is prolonged, and he inherits the Land (of Israel)."
I cry within and continue to read the Mishna aloud in a seemingly unemotional way.
"Now I want to sleep a little," Steve says, "Wake me in another twenty minutes. I don't want to sleep too much."
Philip arrived early to take over from me.
"See you later," Steve says to me.
"Thank you," I reply.
"Thank you."
-----------
Moshe Feiglin, founder of Manhigut Yehudit, The Jewish Leadership Movement, led the campaign of mass civil disobedience against the Oslo accords in 1995. Feiglin is currently championing the registration of thousands of new members to the Manhigut Yehudit bloc in Likud to create a Judaism-based leadership for the State of Israel.