"Everything has beauty within, but not everyone can see it" (Confucius)
On a clear day, a crown-like virus emerges declaring his intentions, demonstrating its immense power and desire to survive. A virus with no preferences and non-discriminatory in its vulnerability. A virus whose presence requires us to re-evaluate, to engage in intense learning, and to quickly adapt.
We are asked to enter quarantine, restricted in traffic space, food and other basic living resources and worst of all - no one knows yet how to beat the virus and how long this new reality will last.
When these difficulties become stressful and persist over time, they can become paralyzing. In these cases, the scary and unsettling thoughts may be the result of existential anxiety. Global coping with the Corona threatens survival, creates economic and psychological panic in the world. However, life must go on, but how do we do it? How can we cope after all?
Under these circumstances, it is natural for us to feel fear, therefore, it is important that we become aware of our reactions to fear. Fear can paralyze but also strengthen. If we know how to manage it, we will cope. If we let it manage us - we will fail!.
So how do we manage this fear when this virus has given us a perfect setting for helplessness and exhaustion?
Freud, the father of the "Personality Design" theory, placed the ego at the front of the stage as a very significant factor in coping with feelings of fear and anxiety. According to him, ego is a mechanism designed to ensure that we meet environmental requirements. Ego is, in fact, our sense of self-worth. His successors (Ego Psychology), emphasized the ego as a motivator for action, learning and development, and saw the ego's defense mechanisms as important in developing adaptation and in protecting against the impulses of fear and aggression. Mechanisms of defense are, in fact, patterns of behavior and thinking designed to keep the ego (or us, for that matter) from feelings of anxiety and fear. We all have ego! We could have a stronger and healthy ego or a weakened one.
The Corona virus requires us to adapt to a new reality of ignorance and helplessness , and forces us to find our own ways of coping, without any warning!
Precisely at this time, our ego is the one to who decides how we react. An ego that encounters the sense of fear, experiences conflicts and drives all the defense mechanisms we acquired from childhood( including those that encourage negative thinking, aggression and more), to deal with fear. Melanie Riches Klein, a Psychoanalyst (The Kleinian Approach), argued that the capability of the ego to bear anxiety is related to its ability to interact with the mental and external realities, and therefore also to grow mentally. A strong ego is capable of fighting fear through strengthening and healthy mechanisms. In other words, to be able to examine the situation, to study it, and to understand that if we cannot change the situation, we must begin the challenge of adapting ourselves to it.
Pre- Corona, our lives were different. We went into a race against time which became a routine which turned into a way of life. There is no place and time to wonder about the past, and we find ourselves more focused on what will happen and less on what is happening today. We created a life of more substance and less meaning and value. Our value as human beings are measured more quantitatively (how much I have) than qualitative (how much I know).
Over the years, in Israel, we can see a gradual discharge from our mission as "the chosen ones" with the obligation to serve as a moral example to the entire world. While some fought for our identity, tradition, and mission with tight hands, some chose to relinquish their mission and destiny almost to a detachment from our Jewish identity, and others took the mission in the direction of the arrogance and pride. I have a birth right to act as I see fit and what I chose to do is enough.
It saddens me to see increase in competition and hatred between brothers. More and more people are driven by personal gain. We respect each other less, lessening the moral values of compliments and thanks. The ease with which we judge, disparage, and criticize is alarming. It pains me to see that with all the intellectual and interpersonal capabilities that we possess as human beings - we choose to diminish our moral values by using them poorly and slowly losing our place in the world. The general feeling is not good. Disbelief, impatience, hatred, abomination, and much pain has been filling the air in recent years. We seem to have lost ourselves a little, and it's time to find our way home.
How and why is the coronavirus, in my opinion, could be the guideline for creating a renewed cultural map? And if not now? When?
In our everyday language, we use the word "revolution" as a term that represents something that is completely different from the standard and normal state. "Rapid, profound and violent change, affecting the dominant values of society, political institutions and social structure" (Samuel Philip Huntington). I feel that the era we are in fits the definition.
I choose to believe that this virus comes to us as a message from the universe and its' creator, to stop, breath, and push the restart button!
The whole world is experiencing the existential anxiety. We are all on the same boat. This situation, in itself, gives us all the equal opportunity to work on our negative sides. During this time, we do not need to pursue dignity - only our health, and lust and impatience are not of much use when there is nowhere to go and all resources are limited. It is a great time to feel what it's like to live with a good sense of pride instead. We , then, learn to settle for what we have, return to modesty, and most importantly, never to succumb to the virus.
Since the outbreak, we have experienced sudden and radical changes in our daily lives. The fear of being a part of the statistical sample motivates us to act more cautiously, and with calculated and protected steps. But that is just a small part of our way of dealing. as we realized that we have very limited control over the outbreak, our coping strategies become more focused on the "here and now" and ourselves.
If we are required to isolate ourselves, then it is the perfect time to introspect, and clean the world from any pollution. Reassess our priorities in life, choose positive thinking as the core of a better life, and learn how to use of all our abilities for creating good. Learn to thank and cherish, accept one another, learn how to be angry and constructive, let go of all that is not welcome in our lives. We have an opportunity to create a life that has more compassion, understanding, and love in it.
Today (in Israel), since the outbreak of the virus, there is a sense that people are beginning to wake up and recognize that our peace and happiness lay in our spirit and simplicity. Speaking in a language is more concerned, sympathetic, and unit. Due to lack of choice, of course , settling for what we have and learning to appreciate what we have. We are forced to find creative ways to go through the day, we ensure to keep in touch with our loved ones. Mostly, we learn to manage the day one hour at the time without thinking much about tomorrow, because time is now irrelevant.
more so, the sense of fear drives the strong egos to promote unity and mutual guarantee and dissipates a sense of security in others. Gradually, as we realize the effect of the virus, all the social networks and media mainly talk about unity, empathy, and compaction to create a more peaceful state of mind and a stronger community. Even during our outrageous political situation (because of the inability to form a government to lead the country) , the two leading party- leaders have found a way to unite and focus on sustainability. I have never felt such relief!
Furthermore, due to existential concern, there is a mechanism that enhances the sense belief and optimism. The more we believe in ourselves as strong people, the greater our desires to prove our abilities to face fear- will be. And if we make sure to look at the half full glass, we can certainly hope for the best and overcome the fear.
For the first time in my life, I have seen people out on their porch singing and praying to God together, demonstrating a sense of strength and security to others. Each tries to find comfort within the other. Humor is one of the most common ways we deal with the scary atmosphere. Funny jokes and stories about the effect of the virus on our lives have become a trend. Slowly but surely, people are starting to accept the new reality and trying to adapt to the best of their abilities.
Needless to say, that the choice to see the light inside this dark and cruel virus, is not everyone's. There are some with coping strategies that are more focused on the fear of accepting the "decree" imposed by the virus. It is easier and more familiar to their ego to activate the negative defense mechanisms (anger, frustration, hatred). There are others whose life circumstances make it difficult to deal with the virus from a place of growth and have to deal with the fear every day. There are those who feel strangled with fear and helplessness and choose to express their feelings of fear in negative ways. And there are those who simply oppose to my approach and don’t see this era as a potential motivator to create a better us. And yet, as I sense the general atmosphere around me, positive feelings such as mutual help, compassion, concern, and appreciation are more frequently airborne than they have been so far. This is definitely a comforting change and I hope it sticks.
I believe that from every challenge rises an opportunity to grow and I see this great COVID-19 challenge as an opportunity to create a new reality that is more focused on cultivating the self, enhancing the positive thinking and improving the general communication within us and throughout the entire world. I wish that all those opportunities will flourish and we will all survive to tell the tale. When that happens, we can define it as a revolution. It is all up to us!
Dorite Shabi is a Clinical Psychologist and Personal Coach
Bibliography:
Theories on anxiety in Freud and Melanie Klein: Their metapsychological status. By de Bianchedi, Elizabeth T.; Scalozub de Boschan, Lidia; de Cortiñas, Lia P.; de Piccolo, Elsa G. The International Journal of Psychoanalysis, Vol 69(3), 1988, 359-368.
Suchman, N., McMahon, T., DeCoste, C., Castiglioni, N., & Luthar, S. (2008). Ego Development, Psychopathology, and Parenting Problems in Substance-Abusing Mothers. The American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 78(1), 20–28
מיטשל, ס. א., ובלאק, מ. ג. (2006). פרויד ומעבר לו: תולדות החשיבה הפסיכואנליטית המודרנית. תל-אביב: תולעת ספרים.