"A lot of positivity and people wanting to do good." That's how one of some 200 participants summed up the recent First Annual Refuah Institute Conference on Torah Psychology and Medicine, held at the Menachem Begin Heritage Center in Jerusalem.
The conference was two days of intensive lectures and workshops on all things having to do with Torah counseling and coaching, better communication with others and between our physical and spiritual selves, and bringing out our best potential.
"Less Like a Great Machine, More Like a Great Thought"
World-renowned Prof. Gerald Schroeder, author of Genesis and the Big Bang, began the proceedings by positing that metaphysical or spiritual life is just as real as our physical lives. "As we get down to levels as tiny as quarks and neutrinos in our understanding of the world," he said, "we discover something amazing: All of modern technology that controls everything we do is based on quantum physics – meaning, as astronomer Sir James Jeans said, 'The universe is beginning to look less and less like a great machine than like a great thought.'"
"In short," Prof. Schroeder said, "the world is coming nearer to the Torah's truth that man was created in the 'image of G-d' – i.e., with the spark of the original wisdom, into which we hope to tap."
Refuah Institute founder and dean Prof. Joshua Ritchie, M.D., followed by noting, "When I started in medical school 50 years ago, they told me that most of what they were teaching us would not be correct 50 years later – and they were mostly right. We're living in exciting times; Torah has always used the science of its day, and it uses it well."
Physics and Isaiah
The Chief Rabbi of Tel Aviv, Rabbi Yisrael Meir Lau, continued this line by praising the study of nature as a way of teaching us the greatness of the Creator. "When I was a high school student," he told, "my rabbi and teacher, the famed late Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, heard in my voice that I was not over-enthusiastic about learning physics. He couldn't believe it. 'How can you not like physics?!' he said. 'It's a clear manifestation of [the verse from Isaiah], 'Lift your eyes heavenward and see Who created all this!'"
Prof. Dr. Yehuda Levi explained, with examples, how Torah Judaism combines the best of the three main theories of modern psychology – Skinner's behaviorism, Freudian analysis, and cognitivism.
Another in the list of super-star speakers - four lectures, three in English and one in Hebrew, were often going on simultaneously - was Rabbi Mordechai Neugroschel, Director of the "Judaism from a Different Angle" Center. He enthralled the participants with his approbation of Holocaust-survivor psychologist Victor Frankl's theory of logotherapy: "Human beings seek meaning in life, and they wish to be part of something great," the rabbi said. He also explained the relationship between the different parts of our spiritual personality, and how our actions, speech and thought correspond to each.
Rabbi/Doctor Team and Physical/Spiritual Interplay
The physical/spiritual interface was the focus of a well-attended session given jointly by physician Dr. David Shiller and Torah scholar Rabbi Avraham Sutton. Their slide show/lecture detailed a view of the human body in which mind, emotions, and physiology function in unity – explaining why prayer, meditation, song, and Torah study and commandments enhance our physical health. A long list of Torah/Kabbalah sources was provided as well to emphasize the soul-body unity.
Joy and Happiness
Another theme that was heavily emphasized throughout the conference – and that left participants on a noticeable "high" – was that of happiness. Mrs. Liliane Ritchie, RTC, led a "guided imagery" session, before which she reminded the participants, "Being depressed is not reality, and is not natural; it's just a way of looking at what is happening. We must hear the voice of truth – that we are G-d's children and He loves us – and we can see this when we are in a loving, joyful state."
Jerusalem's well-known author and counselor Rabbi Zelig Pliskin enthusiastically outlined his "Nine Principles of Joy." These include thinking appreciatively and gratefully, speaking joyfully and kindly, assuming everything has some benefit, striving for meaningful goals, and more. To concretize the ninth principle – "I smile and wave to mirrors; they always smile and wave back" – Rabbi Pliskin ended the session by distributing, at cost price (5 shekels), small pocket mirrors complete with a copy of the Nine Principles.
Coaching
Much of the second day of the conference focused on the developing field of personal coaching from a Torah standpoint. Empathy, understanding and listening were repeatedly emphasized throughout the conference as indispensable tools for those who wish to coach or counsel others.
"I merited to spend over 1,000 hours with the Amshinover Rebbe in Bayit Vegan in Jerusalem," Prof. Ritchie said, "witnessing how he counseled others. I was able to see first-hand how genuine empathy, caring, support and a positive approach actually was successful! The Torah taught this long before Rogers formulated the Rogerian approach."
A basis for personal coaching based on the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe was quoted by Rabbi Mordechai Weiss, who said that when the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot (Chapters of the Fathers) advises each person to set a rabbi for himself, this was not meant merely for legal, Halakhic questions – but rather that one must find someone to guide him or her in all facets of life. "This means that everyone must have his own personal advisor and coach," Rabbi Weiss concluded, "in order to help him progress in life, spiritually and otherwise, as best as possible."
"In order to be a successful coach," Weiss added, "you must live your own life purposefully. "
"Your job as a coach," Rabbi Weiss said, "is to help people discover their own visions, goals and dreams. There may be multiple paths to accomplish these goals… The coach must keep in mind that the exact solution must lie with the client; it is not your job to tell him or her what to do, but rather to listen very well and hear what the client is telling you…"
"In order to be a successful coach," he added meaningfully, "you must live your own life purposefully. This means to live in full awareness of what you can accomplish; life is not a spectator sport."
A fascinating model coaching session was led by Stewart Hirsch, J.D. of the Boston area, who flew to Israel especially for the conference. Describing himself as a "recovered lawyer," he changed careers in mid-life to become a business coach, with a practice based solidly on Torah ideals. He emphasized that one who helps someone else is actually helping himself at the same time, "because we are all connected with the Source of all – G-d. Sometimes I ask people if they have prayed about their problem; this will give them confidence. Sometimes people will say that they don’t 'want to bother G-d' about these issues; I say, He told us to work six days a week, and we shouldn't pray to Him about it?!"
"As a coach," Hirsch said, "I'm not there to come up with something new, but rather to pass on a message he may need to hear - or perhaps something he is saying himself but is not hearing…"
Hirsch emphasized that the elements of credibility, reliability and intimacy add up to make a coach "trusted" in the eyes of his clients – but that self-orientation rightfully detracts from this image. "The formula is C+R+I divided by S," he said.
Harvard Prof on "Positive Psychology"
A special treat was the appearance of Harvard Professor Tal Ben-Shachar, who gave a sampling of his course on "Positive Psychology" - arguably Harvard's most popular course in 2006.
"The objective of Positive Psychology," he explained, "is to unite the accessibility of the self-help movement with the rigor of academic research." In a friendly and humorous manner, juxtaposed with some healthy Zionism – he said that he moved back to Israel, where he was born, "because here is where I feel best, for both family and Zionist reasons" – he outlined five main points (summarized here in painful brevity):
1. We are allowed to be human, and we are allowed to sometimes have negative emotions. Instead of trying to be rid of them, we must simply accept and deal with them.
2. Modern society faces an epidemic known as stress, which must be dealt with by simplifying our lives. Time-outs are important, as is realizing we can't do everything. A recent study surprisingly found that busy young mothers did not enjoy being with their children – and then it was ascertained that this was because they were always doing other things at the same time… It's like listening to your favorite music, Carlebach and Beethoven, at the same time…
3. The mind-body connection. Exercise is important in overcoming depression.
4. Mindfulness Meditation. This is something that people think comes from the East, but really it appears in Torah. Everyone jumps at sudden sounds – but not those engaging in meditation… At a red light, for instance, instead of being frustrated, use the time to take deep breaths and relax.
Five Nightly Thank-You's
5. Focusing on the positive and appreciating the good. Must we really wait for something bad to happen in order to appreciate the good that we have? A study by Emmons and McCullough in 2002 shows that feelings of gratitude lead to emotional well-being. I personally have found, as has academic research, that writing down before I go to sleep every night five things for which I am grateful improves my emotional health in general.
To purchase recordings of the conference lectures, or to find out more, click here. www.refuah.net