The Torah commandment for a man and wife to take joy in each other’s company, physically as well as emotionally, is not always the easiest directive to fulfill.
In the secular population, many people with sexual dysfunction find their way to the specialized sex therapists and clinics that are available to treat this problem. In the hareidi-religious world, however, dealing with sexuality is not a simple matter, especially when it means having to turn to a “professional” for help.
The Sexuality Center, based in Tel Aviv, offers a free telephone hotline to help hareidi-religious couples with problems relating to intimacy and sexuality. Best of all, it’s anonymous.
The Center is a sex therapy clinic which addresses sexual problems in both the hareidi-religious and secular populations, with branches in Haifa and Jerusalem as well. In all three clinics there are sex therapists trained to deal with the specific and unique issues facing the hareidi-religious community.
The helpline, though available to everyone, is geared to meet the needs of the hareidi-religious community, according to Center director Dr. Ilan Biran, who says it has been in existence for ten years, although very quietly publicized. Biran was interviewed late last week, along with Jerusalem-based psychologist Dr. Baruch Shulem by The Jerusalem Post.
“The sexual problems that we see in the hareidi community are really no different from those among secular people,” said Biran. He said, however, that people in the hareidi-religious community “lack basic information concerning sexual functioning and intimate relations.”
One of the reasons it is so important to reach out to this population in particular, said Biran, is its relative isolation from other sources of information, which might include support programs and information searches on the internet. In addition, he said, “there is a stigma about asking for professional help and all those we treat are anxious about discretion.”
Shulem, who is a hareidi-religious Jew as well as a sex therapist, said that the stigma is slowly changing. “I find that couples seeking therapy do not come to me quickly for help,” he said, but added that when they do finally knock at the door, “they are very cooperative.”
As with The Sexuality Center, Shulem’s practice is not restricted to hareidi-religious couples. Both he and Biran said they have seen a gradual change in the issues presented by hareidi-religious couples who seek help. Until recently, men formed the bulk of those who called out for help. Today, said both doctors, women have begun to ask for assistance as well.
Biran has maintained close ties with rabbis and community leaders, who insist on the condition of anonymity. He said there is a growing awareness of magnitude of the problems and the need to deal with them appropriately.
“There are a few rabbis who are now offering sexual advice,” he said, “and while they are not qualified therapists, I encourage this activity because it gives legitimacy to people to ask for help.”
The two professionals part company over the issue of sexual abuse, with Biran insisting that the hareidi-religious community still refuses to confront the issue, and Shulem maintaining that the community simply attacks it differently.
Biran: “What I have noticed is that in this sector they hide their problems and do not complain when there is a sexual offense.”
Shulem: “Things are being done about it – our way might not be acceptable to the secular world, but we believe it is the best way.”
Dr. Baruch Shulem’s practice is based in Jerusalem. The Sexuality Center hotline is 1-800-588-999.
In the secular population, many people with sexual dysfunction find their way to the specialized sex therapists and clinics that are available to treat this problem. In the hareidi-religious world, however, dealing with sexuality is not a simple matter, especially when it means having to turn to a “professional” for help.
The Sexuality Center, based in Tel Aviv, offers a free telephone hotline to help hareidi-religious couples with problems relating to intimacy and sexuality. Best of all, it’s anonymous.
The Center is a sex therapy clinic which addresses sexual problems in both the hareidi-religious and secular populations, with branches in Haifa and Jerusalem as well. In all three clinics there are sex therapists trained to deal with the specific and unique issues facing the hareidi-religious community.
The helpline, though available to everyone, is geared to meet the needs of the hareidi-religious community, according to Center director Dr. Ilan Biran, who says it has been in existence for ten years, although very quietly publicized. Biran was interviewed late last week, along with Jerusalem-based psychologist Dr. Baruch Shulem by The Jerusalem Post.
“The sexual problems that we see in the hareidi community are really no different from those among secular people,” said Biran. He said, however, that people in the hareidi-religious community “lack basic information concerning sexual functioning and intimate relations.”
One of the reasons it is so important to reach out to this population in particular, said Biran, is its relative isolation from other sources of information, which might include support programs and information searches on the internet. In addition, he said, “there is a stigma about asking for professional help and all those we treat are anxious about discretion.”
Shulem, who is a hareidi-religious Jew as well as a sex therapist, said that the stigma is slowly changing. “I find that couples seeking therapy do not come to me quickly for help,” he said, but added that when they do finally knock at the door, “they are very cooperative.”
As with The Sexuality Center, Shulem’s practice is not restricted to hareidi-religious couples. Both he and Biran said they have seen a gradual change in the issues presented by hareidi-religious couples who seek help. Until recently, men formed the bulk of those who called out for help. Today, said both doctors, women have begun to ask for assistance as well.
Biran has maintained close ties with rabbis and community leaders, who insist on the condition of anonymity. He said there is a growing awareness of magnitude of the problems and the need to deal with them appropriately.
“There are a few rabbis who are now offering sexual advice,” he said, “and while they are not qualified therapists, I encourage this activity because it gives legitimacy to people to ask for help.”
The two professionals part company over the issue of sexual abuse, with Biran insisting that the hareidi-religious community still refuses to confront the issue, and Shulem maintaining that the community simply attacks it differently.
Biran: “What I have noticed is that in this sector they hide their problems and do not complain when there is a sexual offense.”
Shulem: “Things are being done about it – our way might not be acceptable to the secular world, but we believe it is the best way.”
Dr. Baruch Shulem’s practice is based in Jerusalem. The Sexuality Center hotline is 1-800-588-999.