Zest for Life

Should a baby's gender be a reason to abort?

Efrat ,

Does the gender really matter? (illustrative)
Does the gender really matter? (illustrative)

"A little over a year ago, I gave birth to my third daughter," says Inbal. "Our family doesn't have any boys."

"I come from a family of five girls and each of my married sisters has only daughters. My fourth pregnancy came when my baby was six months old. My husband was sure it was going to be a girl, and together with my mother, who agreed with him, managed to convince me that I should end the pregnancy.

"I was six months after birth, and I didn’t feel ready for another pregnancy so I decided to have an abortion. My older sister was the only one who told me that in every pregnancy there is a fifty percent chance that it will be a boy, so why not give it a shot? I told her that the facts show that our family seems to be an exception. But she didn't give up and contacted Efrat.

"My mother was very angry with her and because she was so worried that I would give in, she made me an appointment for the abortion. When I went to the hospital, I received a call from an Efrat volunteer and after a long conversation with her, she convinced me to at least wait and be one hundred percent sure that that it was a girl.

"She ended the conversation with 'Inbal, we both know who runs the world. Let's let Him do His job.'

"I went home and called my mother to tell her that I decided to wait for an ultrasound to find out if it would be a boy or a girl. My mother was so angry and told me that I was unstable woman and had been coerced. 'Who is this woman you were talking to? Do you even know her?'

"Something inside me told me it would be worth waiting for the ultrasound, and if it would be a boy I would be able to 'prove' myself.

"On the day of the ultrasound, for some reason they were unable to tell me if it was a boy or a girl. Because of the uncertainty, I made another appointment and, strangely when I got to the clinic, there was a power outage and they sent me home. I decided that there would be no third appointment.

"I went home and contacted that volunteer and told her that I don’t believe in coincidences. The difficulties I had encountered every time I had tried to find out if it was a boy or a girl were a sign. Despite continued pressure, I continued the pregnancy, and at the end no big surprise awaited. I gave birth to another girl.

"But I was so overjoyed to have her. I realized that somewhere in heaven, it had been decided that she was to be born, and nothing could stop that. After the birth, all anger was forgotten, and my husband organized a big party, just as he’d done for our other daughters.

"I called Efrat’s volunteer and invited her to come to celebrate with us. When she arrived I introduced her to my mother, who held the baby throughout the party. When the volunteer asked to hold her for short while, my mother said, 'Soon. Let me enjoy her.'

"It was a tough job convincing the grandmother to let someone else hold the baby whom she really hadn’t wanted."